CHAPTER 13 #2
He told his story well, his deep, whiskey-smooth voice almost distracting me from the words, but as he talked about meeting Lil as a teenager, not long after we’d stopped visiting the ranch, I was rapt.
He smirked as he told me about their initial flirtation, telling me easily in a way that made it clear that those feelings were long gone.
His life had become about rodeos – riding broncs, the injuries and wins, competing at ever higher levels, becoming state champion.
‘No time for women?’ I asked as he paused, watching as I smiled.
‘A little,’ he admitted. ‘But it’s hard to settle down on the circuit. A lot of buckle bunnies too, more interested in your wins than you.’
My stomach fell at the thought of the attention he would’ve received, the inevitable hook-ups. The thought of seeing him with someone else filled me with a sudden, burning jealousy.
‘You ever thought about going back to it?’ I asked softly, aware that we were moving into sensitive territory.
Cole’s face changed, but his eyes remained warm. Trusting.
‘I think about it every now and then. I think Seth would be pissed that I stopped because of his death. But . . . I don’t know. Bronc riding is still a crazy-ass thing to do. Money’s okay if you get it right, though.’
I nodded.
‘If it makes you happy, you should do it,’ I said. ‘The rodeo last week was awesome. I’d be there to watch,’ I added, giving him a shy smile. ‘I could even learn to scream and holler like all the regulars do.’
His answering smile was breathtaking.
‘Oh I bet you could, Princess,’ he murmured, biting his lip for a moment. Leaning back in his chair, as though forcing the distance between us, he considered me.
‘Enough of me, I wanna know all about you. Where you grew up, right up to now.’
I raised my eyebrows, letting out a breath as I figured out how to sum up twenty-four years without boring him.
But, as he held his wine glass, almost bracing his arms to himself, I told him about growing up in the English countryside, the pressure from my dad to make something of myself.
The striving to get into uni, then meeting Hestia and letting go for a while, embracing her sense of adventure.
‘She sounds fun,’ he said, smile widening.
‘Hestia’s the best,’ I replied, smiling back but feeling sad.
‘I hope you meet her someday – I think you’d like her,’ I added, lost in the fantasy of getting her out here, imagining her fitting in with the ranch.
‘My boyfriend – I mean, ex-boyfriend,’ I stumbled, internally kicking myself, ‘never understood her. But, turns out I should’ve listened to her instincts about him. He turned out to be a complete prick.’
Cole’s expression had become deep, brooding.
‘What happened?’ he asked, not quite managing to conceal the feelings that I could see simmering under the surface.
As I told him, slowly working over the events that had led up to me getting on the plane, he gradually leant forward, reaching out for my hand over the table.
‘It was shit, all of it,’ I finished, finding his hand. ‘And I’ve been waiting for the weight of it to hit, you know? To really feel heartbroken or whatever, like a delayed reaction to arrive.’
He frowned, his thumb slowly stroking the back of my hand.
‘And? Are you heartbroken?’
Holding his eyes with mine, I shook my head, the words almost drying up.
‘I can’t have been,’ I said, noticing how his thumb had stopped moving, his hand now completely still. ‘Because thinking of him doesn’t make me feel anything. It’s all coming from somewhere else right now.’
He glanced down for a moment, seemingly trying to decide something.
‘I’ll admit, I’ve never been in love before,’ he said softly, looking back up at me. ‘But I’ve heard folks say that when it happens, you know. Deep down.’
My heart hammered; I couldn’t look away from him, from the way he held my eyes.
‘I’ve heard that too.’
I smiled as he squeezed my hand. Before either of us could say anything else, reality arrived in the form of the waiter with our food.
‘You going to film this too for social media?’ he teased, breaking the intensity between us.
I laughed, shaking my head. ‘No chance! It’s cowboys and sunsets that people want, not food.’
‘Dude ranching sure is different to the old way of doing things,’ he said, his expression becoming thoughtful again. ‘I remember going out to help Dad and Jay, my brother, in the dark, before school, all weathers.’
I grimaced, remembering one of the winters we’d visited Jackson and experienced what minus 20 degrees felt like, realizing just how tough the locals actually were to live through it.
‘Must’ve been hard,’ I ventured. ‘I remember bitching and moaning about going up to the stables at home when it was one or two degrees – that’s mid-thirties to you.’
He scoffed.
‘Nah, it wasn’t that bad. Took my mind off all the shit with Mom, you know? My dad’s not great with emotional stuff and Wyatt’s just like him. It actually wasn’t until I met Lil that I had anyone to talk to.’
My heart broke for him, and I reached my hand out again immediately. He took it.
‘Were you young, when she left?’ I asked, just hoping that he hadn’t been alone for long.
But as he nodded, I pressed my lips together, not able to prevent the prickle of tears that welled up.
I could picture it so easily, a young version of this beautiful man, coping with something that no one should have to go through, never mind with no one to talk to.
‘I was seven,’ he admitted, squeezing my hand, still watching as I processed his pain.
‘It was the worst time of my life. But . . . I don’t know.
Somehow, in a fucked-up way, it’s made me love the people I’ve chosen to be in my life even more?
Maybe if it’d been laid out on a plate I wouldn’t appreciate it so much. ’
I couldn’t speak for a moment, turning to take a sip of my drink instead.
‘You’ve got a big ol’ heart, haven’t you, honey?’
His voice was soft, matched by his eyes.
‘I can’t stand the thought of anyone I care about being hurt,’ I whispered, the words simple but the meaning clear.
The rest of the meal passed in a blur of more questions and answers about life, our points of view aligning on almost everything, to my surprise. Somehow I’d imagined the difference in our backgrounds would create more of a gap in our thinking, but it turned out the opposite was true.
‘Hey, hey – none of that,’ he said, waving me away as I opened my bag to reach for my wallet when the bill arrived. ‘It might be old-fashioned compared to the way you do things back home, but out here, a guy pays on the first date and there’s no argument.’
I raised my hands in mock surrender, a little worried about the bill in such a nice place. I had no idea what being a ranch manager paid, but I didn’t want to assume.
‘Listen,’ he said, as though he could hear my thoughts. ‘I’m no investment banker with a rich daddy, but I did well enough from competing – had a couple of sponsors, too.’
‘And now you’re a social media star,’ I added, making him chuckle. But as we walked out, the lights catching his sun-kissed skin and highlighting the bright warmth of his deep brown eyes, I realized how much he looked the part.
Leaving the restaurant, we fell into step, his right hand catching my left as we crossed the street.
I caught his eye.
‘Friends hold hands sometimes,’ he said, shrugging, but the grip changed, my fingers sliding between his, locking together with an ease that made me wonder how I’d only known him for a couple of weeks.
‘I feel like I’ve known you for so much longer,’ I admitted as we reached his truck.
He paused, his hand on the handle. ‘I was just thinking the same. That and it’s real difficult staying well behaved.’
I nodded, smiling, and he opened the door and waited for me to climb in.
He flipped the radio on low before we set off, catching the beginning of a song I knew.
‘I like this one,’ I said, smiling as he turned it up a little and gave me a quick grin as we set off.
‘You know it?’ he asked quizzically.
‘Sure, I like a bit of country.’ I shrugged. ‘Mom still listens to it, and I grew up on Dolly and John Denver, Johnny Cash . . . I’m more of a Riley Green, Lainey, kinda gal, though.’
He shook his head, then reached over with his right hand and grasped my left, squeezing it.
‘Well, looks like we’ve got the same taste in music too, Princess.’
The rest of the drive back to the ranch was spent humming and singing along to song after song, Cole eventually switching to Spotify to play some of his other favourites. Our hands remained clasped, and as the turn-off to the ranch approached, I didn’t want our date to end.
‘Thank you for tonight,’ I said as we turned off the interstate, up the beginning of the drive. ‘A perfect gentleman and a perfect date.’
As Cole slowed the truck to a stop, I turned, but before I could say another word, his hand was on my cheek and he leant closer, coming right in to brush his lips over mine.
‘No, Princess, the perfect is all you. From these lips to singing in that cute accent,’ he said.
I drew a shaky breath, my body suddenly lit on fire at his touch.
‘Cole, you have no idea what you do to me,’ I admitted, closing my eyes as he kissed my jaw.
‘Honey, I get turned on just hearing your voice, especially when you say my name,’ he whispered.
And this time, in the darkness, it all clicked together so quickly that my head spun as he began to kiss me, gently at first, then pressing harder.
There was beginning to be something familiar about his touch, the way we responded to each other, the way his tongue felt on mine and the rapid sense of need that built and built inside.
My hands wandered down his shirt, further, down to his jeans.
He pulled away too quickly, leaving me gasping.
‘I can’t have you thinking it’s easy holding back on you,’ he said, breathing hard himself. ‘I try to be a gentleman, but I’m really not perfect.’
‘You don’t have to stop,’ I whispered, still trying to catch my breath.
But he chuckled, shifting the truck into gear and pulling off, roaring up the steep track to the ranch.
‘I don’t want to,’ he replied, his voice rough. ‘But not in my truck, in the middle of the drive. You deserve more than that. I’ve got bigger plans for you than that.’
I gritted my teeth at the thought of it, hands clenching the strap of my bag.
‘Hold up,’ he said suddenly, the truck racing forward as a car came into view, parked up outside the ranch. ‘Who the hell is that at this time of night?’
‘A guest?’ I replied, noting the Colorado plates. ‘The ones that booked are already here though, right?’
He nodded as we got out, both of us striding to the front of the ranch house. As we opened the door, the sound of voices reached us, coming from the back.
‘You recognize the voice?’ I asked, hanging back a little as we walked through the house and out to the back porch. The voices stopped.
‘Oh, there you are,’ Lil said, a thread of relief in her words. ‘Is Lottie with you?’
Cole stopped abruptly, moving to the side so I could come through. Confused, I walked forward slowly, stopping next to him.
Just as a figure stood up from the rocking chair to the right of the back door, turning to face me with an expression like thunder.
My dad.