16. Lexi
16
Lexi
“ Y ou must be feeling pretty smug about yourself,” I tell him, lingering on one elbow, letting my eyes roam freely over Gabriel’s naked body.
He turns, our eyes meeting in a silent exchange, then squeezes my hand, stretched out next to his. “I don’t know. Should I be?”
“Not for this,” I point to the two of us lying naked in bed. “I mean, for being so arrogant as to think a woman client would fall for you.”
“And did you? Fall for me? You never said it. All I heard was Fuck me, take me , and my name being screamed over and over.”
Sure, he’s cocky, but in a way that’s kind of sexy. It’s the arrogance of a self-assured man who only feels the need to show it when he’s provoked. My body bears the marks of his confidence all over.
“I didn’t plan for it,” I say.
“We just felt it,” he adds, his voice a low rumble. “And that’s enough. We don’t have to talk about it. I actually like silence—it allows space for everything else to breathe.”
His gaze wanders, looking for comfort. It doesn’t feel like a push-away, more like him retreating into the strong, silent man he usually is. Maybe he needs time to process everything that’s just happened between us, feelings he’s not ready to talk about .
I’m actually grateful for it. My mind can finally take a break. I still haven’t gotten over the stunt Lucas pulled. But being here in this house with Gabriel makes everything feel less awful. It feels so safe, but I can’t stay here forever. He has his own life, and he’s made it clear he doesn’t want any complications. And my life is nothing but a series of complications.
“What’s on your mind?” Gabriel asks.
“Just thinking about silence. I might try it, you know. See what it’s like to live like you.”
“Oh, my lifestyle is not what you think. Trust me, it’s not right for a girl like you.”
“A woman, you mean,” I feel the need to correct him.
“My woman.” He flashes a smile and leans on his elbow, looking at me. “Can I touch you?” he asks, taking me by surprise.
“Do you think you need to ask that after everything that’s happened between us?”
“You mean earlier when I devoured your pussy and then went deep inside you, and we made love?” Now that the desire has simmered down, I feel a blush creeping up my cheeks.
“On your first night here, you hinted that this, um, bed activity could help you forget bad memories. You said you needed it. I mean, you practically asked me for it. So why are you blushing now? Not that I’m complaining—you look stunning when you blush.”
I sit up, my hands instinctively covering my breasts, when I feel him lean over and kiss my back.
“Can you hand me your shirt, please? I want to cover up,” I ask.
“Hold on a sec,” he says, without looking at our clothes on the floor. “I’m a little busy at the moment. ”
He sits up, too, looks at me, and slides my hands away from my breasts. “You’re perfect,” he says softly. “I love seeing you naked and satisfied after sex. Don’t hide yourself.”
He grabs my chin and pulls me onto his lap, uncrossing his long legs to make space for me. As I lean against him, I notice a small scar on his left leg. “What happened?” I ask, running my hand up and down the rough skin.
“Deployment life,” he says, smiling and messing with my hair, trying to pull my head back.
“Every scar has a story. How did this one happen?” I insist. There’s something about his vulnerability that draws me in.
“It’s not a bedtime story. And besides, I’d rather focus on what I want to do to you right now.”
He gently silences me with a finger on my lips, then puts me on my back with my legs wrapped around him. He starts by kissing me from my ankles to the back of my legs and down my thighs. Grabbing my hips confidently, he then moves to my ass, squeezing it firmly. His touch is an electric current, a surge of power that both protects and excites. Never have I felt so held, so utterly captivated by a man’s strength. He ignores my eager stirrings and instead teases me with gentle movements. He brings his hands to my breasts, running his fingers over my nipples and sending shivers down my spine as I arch and squirm.
Then he gently caresses my clit, tracing delicate circles around it with his fingertips. He uses his fingers, too, but only lightly grazes the surface. When I start to moan, he suddenly springs up from beside me, and as soon as his feet touch the floor, he grabs me in his arms and lifts me off the bed.
“To be continued,” he says, pointing to the shower while I cling to him like a vine, my breasts squished against his rock-hard pecs.
** *
He kept his promise, making me moan his name a million more times in the shower. Getting me to face the wall, he slowly covered me in foam, taking his time around my breasts and my hard, eager nipples. Then he pulled me close and slipped two fingers inside me, making me thrust against his erection. He played with the head of his cock between my ass cheeks until I came screaming, clinging to his fingers. Then I turned around and gave him a soapy hand job until he came as well, hitting the wall with his fist.
Twenty minutes later, I watch him move around the kitchen, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist, attempting to whip up dinner. It’s almost evening, and all I’ve had today were two slices of cake up in Lena’s hotel room.
“Sorry, not much for dinner, but I got some frozen veggies and ice cream,” he says.
His shirt hangs loosely on me, a flimsy barrier between my skin and the kitchen counter that doubles as a table. I’m mesmerized by his muscles. Every flinch and twitch has me hooked, especially the big vein that pops out on his arms when he moves.
If he keeps moving, I’m sure that towel’s going to slip right off. After last night, I’m ready—I know exactly what’s under there. Seeing him fully naked again wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.
“It’s not coming off, baby,” Gabriel says, seeing the look in my eyes. “But since it looks like you’re struggling to focus, I’m going to go get dressed. Come here and give that veggie mix a stir, will you? You can throw in some more butter if you want. ”
I roll my eyes at him, but as I try to jump off the counter, he comes over to me determined and lifts me, wrapping my legs around him. “And put on some goddamn panties, or we won’t get to eat anytime soon.”
Before dinner, Gabriel changes into his jeans, brings me my pants from the bedroom floor, and tries to reclaim his shirt. But all he gets is a determined grin—I’m keeping it.
We manage to look somewhat decent. Especially me. Gabriel’s just strolling around the kitchen shirtless, completely oblivious to the fact that I can’t stop staring at him. Maybe another twenty-four hours together will cure me of my desire to feel him tense up under my fingers. Or maybe not.
The dinner was quick since we both were starving. The evening is relaxed and quiet, and nothing’s bothering us—no noise, no calls, no texts, and no threats.
When I looked out the living room windows this morning, I noticed how close the beach and the sea were. I wanted to feel the sand under my feet and the breeze in my hair, but there wasn’t enough time for a walk. I’ve been living in a port city for almost two months, but the beach is north, and Lena and I hardly ever make it there. Since the weather still feels spring-like and the water is cold, our walks have mostly been along the waterfront.
“Now that I got you in a better mood, why don’t we talk about something else?” Gabriel says with a playful wink. “Like what happened today.”
“What’s there to say? I know how you feel about women clients, and I don’t want to break your famous rule.”
“That’s not what I meant. I was talking about the mess that Lucas made with that video. But if you feel like it, we can also talk about that other thing, too. ”
That other thing …. meaning me and him fucking like crazy the whole afternoon . I know where we stand. At least, my rational mind does. But my heart is… I don’t know, I still don’t want to admit it; it would be a disaster if I…
“Whatever happens, happens. You’re safe with me, even if it might sound weird for me to be the one talking about safety,” I say, licking off the last bit of ice cream we dug into after dinner. We’ve both been eating from the same box, like a couple hanging out after making love—or in our case, after fucking.
“The way I act when I’m around you… I can’t explain it. And I certainly didn’t plan for it,” Gabriel says, his voice rough with barely contained emotion. “But I can’t let you get tangled up in my life. You deserve better.” His gaze flickers across my face as if willing me to understand. “I’ll just drag you down. You need to be out there, shining. This lifestyle I chose works perfectly for me, but it would be a total nightmare for you.”
I keep silent. What does he know about the nightmares I have? That comes with being a survivor. I’m not allowed to complain or say it’s too much because I’m the lucky one who got the chance to live.
“Let’s go to the beach. We can probably squeeze in an hour or two before the sun sets. Are you up for it?” I plead, imagining how beautiful it must be at this time—just breathing in the salty air while watching the sun dip into the water.
Gabriel looks at me, weighing his options. I stare him down so he won’t think of saying no, and he gives in. “Okay, sure. It shouldn’t take us more than five minutes if we cut across the small sand dunes. It’s a secluded beach, kind of wild. At this time of day, I don’t think there’s anyone there. It’s far from the busy roads.”
“Let’s go then. ”
He throws on a T-shirt, grabs a hoodie, puts his shoes on, and signals for me to follow him outside. “Don’t forget your shoes. There are parts of the road with stones leading to the beach, so you might hurt your feet. And I got a hoodie for you, just in case.”
Minutes later, we make our way through the backyard, sneaking out through a small gate that leads to the beach. As soon as we step outside, Gabriel pulls out his phone and starts typing away.
“Are you locking up? Are there any burglars around here?” I ask.
“I’m turning on the alarm and the sensors. Our story’s already public. Some nosy folks might show up. Stay close.”
His hand finds mine, sending a jolt that shoots up my arm. His fingers brush hesitantly, almost shyly, before lacing through mine completely. The warmth of his touch is comforting, and I find myself instinctively matching his pace, our steps falling into sync effortlessly.
“Is this okay?” he asks, his smile genuine, his eyes searching mine for reassurance.
I can feel my heart pounding in my chest as I meet his eyes, a rush of emotions swirling within me. I try to decode it—it’s a sense of belonging that I’ve never experienced before.
“Yeah,” I say softly and smile, my voice barely above a whisper. “It feels nice.”
I can already smell the sea air as I throw his hoodie over my shoulders. We sit down on a dry stump that the waves brought in. The beach is empty, so quiet. I haven’t felt this safe and calm in forever, with Gabriel beside me.
“I think I understand how your clients must feel when they have you around. You know, speaking as a client myself. You leave nothing to chance.”
“Well, technically, you’re not a client. I’m not getting paid to look after you,” Gabriel says, smiling .
“Maybe I could fix that.”
“I don’t think you could afford me.”
“Oh, really? And how do you know what I can afford or not?”
He smirks and raises an eyebrow.
“Right. I forgot you already know everything about me,” I say, pouting. “Maybe I’ll come across some money soon; you never know. I might get rich,” I let slip.
There’s no way I’ll get rich anytime soon. But if I could track down the jerk who did this to us—if he’s as wealthy as I suspect, if the court would force him to pay damages if I win the case, and if… well, there are a lot of ifs. If all of this came true, I’d use the money to move my dad and me into a bigger house with a garden and enough space for his workshop. If there’s any money left, I’d use it to get certified and start my own financial consultancy company. As for paying Gabriel for his services… I’m not sure what I’d have left. At least, not in cash.
“You said it was a favor for Peter,” I reply.
“It was at first, but not anymore. I didn’t like the stunt Lucas pulled. So, it’s time to cut Peter off from this case.”
“So now you’re doing this just for me? Why?”
“Because I want to be there for you. From the moment I first laid eyes on you that evening at the Casino, you became so much more than a case.”
“You mean, from the moment you wanted to kick me out?” I tease him.
“I mean, from the moment you dared me to come and face you, and I couldn’t resist. The rest was just fate doing its thing—leading you into trouble and getting me to rush in and save you. And now, I’m all in,” he says, gazing deeply into my eyes.
“And the sex part? ”
“You need an explanation for that? It just happened. And it worked out well—you’re not hating me as much now, and there’s a good chance you’ll actually listen to me,” he says, chuckling.
“Why are you so set on getting me to do as you say?”
“Because I need to know you’re safe, Lexi. I know you’re acting brave and detached so that your fear won’t show off. But you don’t have to hide from me; I hear everything you say, but I also see you, feel you. When you said we had sex, I know it meant more than that to you because when we were in bed, you asked me to make love to you. I think we’ve grown close enough for you to trust me.”
Trust. That’s still a foreign language to me. I can see him trying to take down my walls. Being around him is a relief, like finally finding the off switch to the constant worry in my head, but I’ve been through too much. It’s too soon, Gabriel.
“You know what the saddest thing about today was?” I say, steering away from the uncomfortable topic he opened. “I never planned on being in the spotlight, but Lucas’s story is forcing me into it. It’s the same with our fake dating. It puts me out there, and the rumors about my photographic memory will only attract unwanted attention. In the end, I’ll have to leave this city. And take my dad, too. And I love living by the sea.”
Gabriel pulls me in for a hug, saying nothing. What could he promise me? We don’t have a name yet for this thing that’s happening between us. Strangely, what drew us together was danger—his life revolves around it, but not mine. I hate to admit it, but he’s right. We wouldn’t be good together.
“I’ll need to keep my distance from Lena. And that breaks my heart. I only have my dad and Lena,” I say, nuzzling into his chest.
I’m on the verge of tears. But crying would feel like admitting defeat—yielding to those who abandoned me, hurt me, to the person who hit me and left me to die, and to whoever now threatens me from the shadows like a coward.
“Now you have me, and nobody will ever dare to hurt you, upset you, or take advantage of you. Not anymore,” Gabriel says, hugging me tighter.
It’s getting dark. The sun is just a red half-circle with a lion’s mane gracefully sinking into the sea. The wind has picked up, carrying a strong salty scent from the sea. I let one tear escape but hold back the rest— maybe for later, or maybe never.
Gabriel doesn’t say anything. He holds me tight, and we stay like this for a couple of minutes. I feel his heart pounding and his chin lightly resting on my head. He’s trembling slightly, almost imperceptibly. It’s getting colder, and he only has his T-shirt on.
“Let’s go back inside. I don’t want to watch the last bit of sunlight disappear; it’s sad,” I say to Gabriel, pulling away.
“It’s just the cycle of life. Sadness is a part of it,” he answers, pulling me back into his arms.
“Do you want to hang out here for a little while longer? Or is there something else?” I ask, meeting his gaze. He gives a slight nod. And then the question—the one I wasn’t expecting. Not from him.
“How did she die?”
I freeze for a few seconds. Then it hits me. Of course, he knows about it. Gabriel knows almost everything about me—almost. But he doesn’t know how Lara, my sister, died. He can’t know that. I don’t know what it says on the legal certificates. What matters is the havoc her death wreaked in our lives. And that’s all we know—me, my dad, and my mom—the woman who left us behind to escape her pain.
“We were seven. She got sick. A blood disease that drained the life out of her in just a few months. ”
Gabriel clasps my hand tightly with his firm grip, his other hand gently stroking my back, allowing me a moment to gather my thoughts. It’s been nearly fifteen years since I last spoke about this.
“We were identical twins, but she was more sensitive, more fragile. She spoke softly, smiled a lot, and tired quickly. That’s how I always knew her. Everyone used to say I was the twin who took all the nourishment from my mom’s womb. It turned out to be nonsense, but as a kid, I believed it. My mom did, too, so she focused all her love and protection on her instead.”
“And your father?”
“Dad was always impartial. He supported and encouraged both of us equally since we were kids. He suffered deeply when she was gone. That’s why I stayed after mom left him. Well, she left us.”
“Where’s your mother now?”
“She left the country, remarried, and now has two boys—twins. She didn’t leave him solely because of grief, but mainly because my sister inherited my father’s illness from his family. We discovered this when we all got tested after Lara died. Mom said she wanted other children, healthy ones, and then left.”
“She didn’t take you with her?”
“She wanted to, but I didn’t. I hated the look on her face, like she blamed me for surviving. She wanted kids who weren’t messed up like me.”
I turn to face him. “You got abandoned, too, right?”
“It was easier for me somehow. Apparently, she was a teen,” Gabriel says with a resigned voice.
“A kid who’s been left behind always carries that hurt, no matter why the mom did it. I mean, I can say I get why my mom left. It was terrible for her to see me every day, to see the face of the child she lost. It was a never-ending pain. ”
“How did you cope, then? Did you rely on your father?”
“No. It was Lena.”
“Lena? How so?”
“Lena’s two years older than me, and she has a strong sense of justice. Those months when my sister fell ill and after her death were terrible. Everyone had forgotten me. They moved me out of our room so my mother could sleep next to Lara and care for her. I felt incredibly lonely. Adults forget kids suffer just as much as they do. Lena saw me getting bullied at school. They called me a zombie because I looked exactly like Lara. No one wanted to sit next to me, and I was pushed around in the hallways. Lena became my protector. If anyone so much as looked at me the wrong way, she stood up for me. The younger kids were actually scared of her.”
I feel the need to stop. Maybe I’ll tell him the rest some other time.
“Is that why you didn’t want a birthday party?”
“The last time I celebrated my birthday was when I was seven, with my sister. There were no more parties or photos throughout my childhood. Everything was a constant reminder of her. The adults around me struggled, masking their pain by avoiding me—the child who didn’t die. That’s how I felt all those years. That’s the burden I carried.”
As I say the last few words, I taste the saltiness of tears on my lips, tears I can no longer contain. Each word catches in my throat, a choked sob escaping with every tear that cascades down my cheeks. The ache in my chest worsens, a physical weight pressing down on me as I cry harder, soaking Gabriel’s shirt.
He gently runs his fingers through my hair, brushing away my tears with his touch and then his lips. Finally, he kisses me, drawing me closer and taking in my pain .
After a few minutes of feeling his arms comforting me, I feel the urge to move. “Let’s go back to the house,” I ask. “I miss my dad. I need to talk to him.”
We leave the sunset behind and walk back home on the sandy path. There’s no one around; it’s a perfect place to hide from the world. I can see why he likes to keep it to himself.
“This place is beautiful, Gabriel. You’re really lucky to live here.”
“Not lucky, just lonely.” His answer surprises me. I struggle to find the right words to say to the gentle giant walking beside me. I still don’t understand if his loneliness is something he’s sought or just come to accept. The truth is, I know almost nothing about him. Maybe I never will. But right here and right now, I want him to know that he’s not alone. Silently, I slip my hand into his. He doesn’t turn to look at me, but I feel his fingers intertwine with mine as we make our way back to the house.