Chapter 44
FORTY-FOUR
Bri
Ihad been worried the line between hookup and something more was approaching.
The combination of the conversation on our way here and the feeling of his hand moving up my thigh officially pushed us into perilous territory.
I’m confident that I can move us back into the safe zone where we fuck like rabbits at night, tell a joke or two during the day, and keep feelings out of it.
How ironic. Not that long ago I was telling Elowen to let her guard down with Aro. That she was worthy of love. It’s a lot easier to give advice than to take it. If Elowen was here right now, she’d be calling me out.
Especially now, Tai has been giving me these tiny little glimpses into where he came from, who he is under all the gruff exterior. He’s got hang-ups about his past. He thinks he’s being vague and subtle about it. But he wears it like a neon vest.
And that’s the problem. I want to know more.
I shake my head to focus on the task at hand and dig through the pack.
There has got to be some first aid here somewhere.
My fingers snag on the liquid sutures at the bottom of the bag.
I swing around and collide right into his hard, dripping wet chest. This up-close and personal view is exactly what I was attempting to avoid.
A smattering of indigo freckles span across his chest and shoulders, begging to be touched.
“I’m trying to figure something out,” he says.
I clinch my hands at my sides, squeezing the tube of sutures almost until it bursts. All to keep myself from reaching out and touching the dark blue specks.
“Oh?” For fuck’s sake, Bri. Use your words.
“I’m trying to figure out if you are running away from me. Or towards something else.”
Old habits kick in. The tightness in my throat tells me it’s time to make a joke, to shut this conversation down before it goes too deep. My hands don’t want to cooperate when I tell them to relax.
“At the moment, I’m running toward a bandage for your finger.” I know he didn’t mean it literally. But I don’t have time to think of anything better.
“Don’t do that. I really want to know. Are you pulling away because this isn’t what you want? Or you do, and that’s what scares you?”
The bottom of my stomach drops away. I do want him. Is that enough to overcome the fear?
“You don’t have to tell me. But at least be honest with yourself.”
Shaken to the core, my mind races to find the right words. It’s too hard to explain something when I’m still trying to figure it out for myself.
He grabs the tube of sutures from my hand. “I’ll take that.”
His hand is steady and unwavering as he traces a thin line of the adhesive around the bite. I look down at my own hands, which are shaking like leaves in the wind. I clasp them together to hold them still.
“Okay. Now we can go back to talking shit,” he says with a smile and tosses me the sutures.