Chapter 61 Tai
SIXTY-ONE
Tai
There was a time when my unit was all that mattered to me. I lived for these guys. Now they are an obstacle, standing between me and the door I’m waiting for Bri to step through. The seats in the large briefing room have filled up in a blur at the edges of my vision. She’s got to come.
My plan doesn’t work if she doesn’t show up.
We haven’t had a chance to talk about anything other than my injuries since I woke up yesterday.
The recovery has been brutal. The blaster fire I hardly felt in my battleform is crippling now.
The neurolink to my new arm fires off randomly as it calibrates.
Bri’s been doting on me and neglecting everything else since we arrived.
It took a while to convince her that I’m fine, and to go see Elowen today.
In truth, I needed time to get my shit together. I wanted to speak with Aro before the ceremony and make sure we were on the same page with my plans. Not that I needed his approval, because I’ve made up my mind. I am determined to follow through with my plan.
Finally, I see a pale pink ponytail slip into the room.
She’s obscured by taller, bluer, and broader bodies.
She peeks around for an empty seat when her eyes land on me.
They light up, and my breath catches in my chest. I never dreamed I would be so lucky to have her look at me like that.
It’s more than I ever thought I deserved.
I weave my way through the crowd toward her as Aro and Commander Rialto take the stage.
“Take your seats. We’re going to begin,” Aro announces with more authority than usual, showing off in front of Elowen.
At the front of the room, a large group of new recruits stand in a line, along with a few re-enlisting.
I look over the excited faces of all the new recruits, and the memory of my first day flashes in my head.
I didn’t look like these Tilaks, all eager and excited for service. I was angry and resentful.
Rather than pushing the thought out of my mind, I observe it with kinder, more forgiving eyes.
I’ve dwelled on all of that long enough.
It’s time for the next phase of my life.
I’m never going to fully let go of what happened, but now it’s time to use my past as fuel to make things better for others.
This is something I’ve learned from Bri.
By the time I reach Bri, she has a confused look in her eyes.
“Come with me,” I whisper. A ripple of electricity radiates from my hand when I set it on her lower back to guide her out of the crowded room.
“What are you doing? They are about to start!” she whispers back. Her breath touches my ear. How could I have ever thought I could survive without her in my life?
“For once, just follow directions.” I’ve expressed a similar sentiment many times before, mostly out of frustration.
Today, all I feel for her is pure devotion.
It used to drive me crazy that she didn’t follow instructions.
I thought her flagrant rule-breaking was a problem.
Now it’s what I love about her. She doesn’t need rules and structure to be good.
She is brave and strong and can march out on her own and meet everything head-on.
We step out into the fresh air at the center of the busy military base. The military was a place I believed was keeping me safe from myself, but the walls that provided security are now holding me captive. And I can’t wait any longer to tell Bri about my shift in perspective.
She melts against me as we walk. The tension and questions leave her body the farther we get from the building. I take in the beauty of j’Tilak around us. The green looks greener, the blues bluer. Nothing like being trapped on a desert planet to make you appreciate home.
I can’t fully enjoy the surroundings because I have a job to do.
Suddenly, the message that was so important to get out dies on my lips, and I’m nervous to tell her. I procrastinate by running my hands up and down her arms. The questioning look is back, and I muster up a little bit of courage to say the words.
“I changed my mind. I’m not re-enlisting,” I blurt out.
“I gathered that from the maniacal retreat. What happened? Are you okay?” She scans my body.
“I’m good. No, I’m great. Things have changed for me.
You’ve changed me.” I swallow hard and continue before she can reply.
“I was scared to leave the military. I was scared that if I were on my own, I would fall back into the life I needed to break free from. Going to Sabaak, and being there with you, I knew I hadn’t dealt with my past. I was covering it up with all this.
” I wave my hand around us. Her eyes are locked on mine.
“You know in the old stories when the hero says that he would destroy the world for love? Well, any idiot can destroy a world for love, but I want to build a better one, with you.” My voice cracks with emotion.
Bri watches me, never blinking or breaking eye contact. Everything we’ve been through seems to flash across her mind, and her eyes fill with tears. A single tear runs down her cheek.
“No, no, not tears. I don’t think I can handle tears,” I whisper and wipe it away with the pad of my thumb. A soft touch on my strong and resilient mate.
“I want that too,” she says with a sniffle.
I pull her up into a hug. Her feet dangle a few inches over the ground. I can’t help myself, I spin us around. The sound of her laughter takes me to heights I’ve never seen before.
“Are you sure? Because there’s no going back after this,” I tell her and set her back down on her feet.
“There was no going back after you hulked out back on Sabaak,” she says without hesitation.
“You always have a choice. You aren’t stuck with me, if that’s not what you want.”
I know Bri well enough by now. There is nothing in the universe that can convince her to do something she doesn’t want to do.
“You know, it’s not going to be easy. Things with me rarely are.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” I truly mean it.
“So…you’re quitting your job to be with me? That’s probably not necessary. We could have figured it out if you wanted to stay.”
“That’s the other thing I figured out. I talked to Aro today, and we came up with a plan.
I’m going to work for him. And I’m going to lead the transportation and settlement programs. We’re going to find a way to make sure those who need it most can come.
Not just the wealthy. Starting with your family. ”
Sobs wrack her body as she leans into me, soaking my shirt with her tears. Her hands come around my neck, and she pulls me even closer. But never close enough.
“Please tell me these are happy tears,” I say.
“They are.”