CHAPTER 5 #2
“You hate it here,” the words land between us like fragile shards of already cracked glass. “Why are you making promises to your dad you won’t keep?”
As I ask, I’m not sure if I’m really talking about the promises he’s making to his father about staying or the ones his eyes are making to me.
“I was frustrated three years ago when I walked away from Seneca Falls,” he admits as his gaze shifts above him again. The expanse of his chest looks comfortable and while I want to snuggle against him, I resist. “I hated how everyone made assumptions about me and what I was doing.”
“Rumors don’t just pop out of nowhere,” I point out as gently as possible. “Are you saying none of them were true?”
“Fuck,” he grunts under his breath while wiping a hand down his face.
He uses that same hand to wrap around me and pull me against his side. The action is so fast that I’m not expecting it. The sound I let out—a mix between a shriek and a yelp—is downright awful. Kendrick doesn’t wince though; he lets out a sigh filled with contentment.
“I’m not going to lie to you, some of the rumors were true. I did date a lot of girls, but I wasn’t running through them like everyone thought. I wasn’t a priest either,” he grudgingly admits.
I hate the feeling of jealousy that strikes through me like lightning. It twists something ugly in my gut, something that shouldn’t be there in the first place.
So, what if he’s pulled me against him? So, what if I swear that he was trying to tell me he’s staying for me just as much as his dad earlier with his eyes. So, what if I’ve never felt more seen than I do right now?
What I have no right to feel is jealousy. Not about a time when he had no idea I even existed.
But he’s certainly noticed now.
“You’re cute when you’re pissed and jealous,” he murmurs.
My eyes snap up to meet his, and the little grin playing on the edge of his lips make me want to give him a hard shove.
I stop myself; barely. He reaches up and presses his thumb right between my eyebrows, his touch makes my skin buzz while he rubs back and forth to smooth out my expression.
“Better,” he coos as my face relaxes. “It might be cute, but you don’t need to be jealous, Baby.
That was all in the past. I sure as hell never stuck around for any of them. ”
I blink at him a few times, unsure if I heard him correctly. “Everyone says you’re a bad boy. Mrs. Riley told me to stay away from you.”
The smile on his face is pure sin. It’s wrong to want more, to want everything he’s offering me with his smile. Isn’t it?
“You probably should stay away from me,” his voice is casual, but there’s an edge to it which has me shivering even though he’s putting out plenty of body heat and I’m soaking it up. “That doesn’t mean I’ll say away from you, though,” he points out like it should be obvious.
“What, you don’t care if people talk anymore?”
He looks up at the stars and is quiet for a moment.
“Let them talk. I didn’t have a reason to prove them wrong before, and I didn’t care to try.
” He glances at me and squeezes me just a little bit tighter against him.
“I would have stayed if it was just the whispers and rumors, but when Dad started to believe them?” He shakes his head, his words thicker, “That was when I knew I needed to get gone.”
“It’s hard when you realize you aren’t living up to their expectations of you any longer,” I whisper the words, hating the way they cause pain to flare in the middle of my chest.
Have my parents ever wondered about what I wanted for myself? Or was it always about them, and I just thought it’s how it should be?
“What do you know about disappointing your parents?” There’s a tease in his voice, “You’re every parent’s dream.”
“Not when you don’t do what they want you to do and go off to college,” I point out while willing my voice not to break. It doesn’t. Barely.
His eyes widen and he turns onto his side so he can look down at me. It’s not easy to meet his gaze, not with how he’s taking me in.
“It’s their loss then.”
“Is it?” I sound unsure because I am. How can he make it sound like it’s so obvious when I’ve been struggling for months? “I’m not sure.”
“I am,” he rasps, his hand coming up and cupping my cheek. Feeling his calloused fingers against my skin has me wondering what he does with his hands all day. He works with them; I can feel it in their strength and roughness. “I can be sure enough for both of us for now.”
Suddenly, it’s not difficult to look into his eyes at all. I find myself staring up at him, wondering if his shoulders are broad enough for my worries along with his. It’s what he’s offering, isn’t it?
A chance to rest?
A person in my corner?
A way through?
My hand wraps around the back of his neck and time stops. It’s only for a second, but when it starts moving again, it moves faster. His lips are hovering above mine when he rasps, “Can I kiss you, Eliza?”
I pull him to me and just before our lips touch, I whisper, “Yes.”
And then I’m lost. Even though his hands are rough, his lips are soft. So very soft. I melt into him, pulling him closer as if any distance between us is too much.
Because it is.
What starts out as tentative and sweet takes a turn within a few heartbeats. The tension between us breaks as Kendrick bites down on my lower lip and I moan into his mouth. His hands are everywhere and it’s not nearly enough.
He kisses me with hunger as his tongue slides into my mouth and explores. My fingers tighten and dig into the back of his neck while the grunt he lets out fills me with a sense of satisfaction.
I get lost in kissing him and, honestly, I hope to never be found. Just let me exist right here, under the stars and in his arms.