20. Artem #2
“Because we keep doing this. We keep changing. If you go back to being the other Artem again, I won’t be able to take it anymore.”
“I am always me, lyubimaya. No matter how we are, it’s the same for me. Each day. I promised you that I’ll hate you forever if that’s what you need from me.”
“I have never trusted someone with myself this much in my life,” she says, her voice breaking as a stray tear runs down her cheek.
I always thought she might be better off without me, and maybe that’s still true; but how can a woman so put together on the outside be so broken down on the inside? How can no one see how badly she needs help?
I wipe her tears with my thumb, holding her gaze onto mine as I speak, keeping my tone firm. “Don’t cry. Breathe. You have nothing to cry about.”
She nods, trying to breathe. Trying to push them back because all she needed to hear was that everything was okay. That she can let go with me.
This has been an overwhelming week for her, and maybe tonight was too much for her, but I think she needed to feel this. To feel herself let go and enjoy something, drift into a headspace that allows her to forget about everything and just feel something.
Fuck, I needed it, too. The intoxicating feeling of control that she allows me to have. Even if it’s fleeting, it’s mine.
And I plan to be that safe space for her when I can tell she needs it. The only one who can hold her up and take over because she always has too much on her plate. When she surrenders to me completely, I’ll spend my every waking moment protecting that peace.
The morning light filters in through the curtains; shining glaringly onto her warm locks as they lay spread across the pillow.
I wish I could keep myself here, but I can’t let myself get distracted.
I can’t let any of this stay stagnant any longer; I have to finish this chapter off for her so that I can resolve my own shit.
When I move off the bed and grab a dress shirt, I hear her voice from behind me as she still lay on the bed.
“Where are you going?”
“We have a lot to do today, solnishko. You know this.”
“Artem I . . . didn’t tell you something that my uncle said to me.”
I turn toward her, and she fidgets as she looks down. “He said that before the engagement, some Russian men had approached him, and offered him money in exchange for information on . . . us. I guess.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose, sighing deeply as she continues.
“I didn’t want to tell you, okay? I just wanted to get you off my back. But now that you think Leo is the villain, I had to say it before you did something crazy.”
“Never keep anything like that from me again. Do you understand how much this changes things?” My voice is raised as I point my finger at her.
“I’m sorry,” she admits quietly.
“Sorry isn’t enough. Do what I say, yes? Do you think I say shit just for the hell of it?”
She shakes her head, unusually quiet.
I exhale, dropping my shoulders as I walk toward the bed, grabbing her chin gently. “I need to know everything, or I can’t protect you properly.”
“I won’t do it again.”
“I know,” I say as I squeeze her cheeks affectionately and pull back to stand straight again. “I don’t know what this means now. I have to talk to Roman but I would highly doubt the two things are connected.”
“Why can’t they be?”
“What Russians are against your family?” I ask incredulously.
“Fine, I don’t know, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t possible. Caesar would know, so we should go see him. I’m sure there’s people who keep track of anyone like that.”
Fucking Caesar. I suppose if that’s what I have to do, then I’ll play allies.
“Call him. I’m going to go fill Roman and Maxim in on the change of plans.”
I walk down the stairs as I button up my shirt, running right into Maxim who seems to be just walking through the front door.
“Where were you?”
“Out? I didn’t know I had a bedtime. I’ve been neglecting my needs too long because of you and G.” He wriggles his eyebrows suggestively, and I sigh and keep walking toward the kitchen as he follows.
“So?” Roman asks as we walk in, still waiting for the information Giselle was coming back with from her uncle.
“So, our problems have doubled. Someone approached her uncle before we got married, looking for information because of me—Russian, but he didn’t know them.”
“Well, that could be a non-issue.”
“Yeah, or it could be exactly the thing I’ve been waiting for ten years to happen,” I say as I run a hand through my hair.
“Artem, it isn’t them. They don’t need to get information from Italians.”
“They knew her and I were . . . close. They’d been watching, whoever it was. If it’s someone from the Families, then this is manageable. If it isn’t, then,” I say shaking my head, not even able to finish the sentence.
“Only someone in the Families could know that, Artem. Think about it. You two never met outside of that country club.”
Roman’s point is logical, how would someone on the outside know that we knew each other so well?
“But we can’t shrug it off, either,” Roman points out.
“Or, maybe her uncle is just lying,” Maxim says as he grabs a bagel from the box on the counter. “Maybe he’s trying to throw you guys off so you stop looking into him and Leo.”
I can only pray that it’s that. If those men are poking around Giselle . . .
“Look, we know Leo is guilty. There is no way anyone else shot her mother. If there’s Russians too, then there’s Russians. We’ll handle them like we usually do. I’m sure Ivanov can help us figure this one out.”
“If you tell Ivanov, then Dad finds out,” Maxim reminds Roman.
“Our father is no longer a part of this, Maxim. It’s me. Ivanov has loyalty to the pakhan and he has to keep it that way. I don’t need our father poking around before we solve this.”
“Well—” Roman is interrupted when Giselle walks into the kitchen, dressed and fingers bouncing through her long hair to make it sit right.
“How was it?” Maxim asks as she goes to stand by him.
Son of a bitch.
“Good, I . . . think we really figured each other out. Once we figure all this out, I can work on speaking to my dad about it,” she replies, her eyes drifting to me.
“Let’s focus on the next step. We’re going to your family’s home, yes? Caesar answered?”
“Yeah, but he thinks you’re crazy the same way that I do—Leo isn’t involved. I think if we all talk this out maybe we can figure out the real threat.”
“You think I want to speak to your cousin again?” I ask her, crossing my arms as I lean against the counter.
“What? You have to. I’m telling you that now we all have everything out in the open, everyone is going to be able to come together and we can actually solve this, Artem. Don’t you trust me?”
“Stop asking if I trust you, moya zhena, it isn’t you who is the problem. I worry for you to be taken advantage of.”
“Well, I think you’re wrong. I get you’re trying to ‘protect’ me in your own deranged way, but you aren’t giving me a chance to prove to you that my family is who I know they are.”
It’s so damn hard to reject her when she looks at me like that.
I sigh as I run my hand down my face, looking at her hopeful one.
“I’m worried. I won’t pretend to be willing to team up with them.
I’m only going to go along with you potomu chto ya vlyublyon v tebya, because I am a fool. You will listen to me when we go.”
Her face breaks into a smile, excited that I’m willing to follow her lead. I don’t know why I did it, but seeing her look at me like that is what I needed before this.
Roman looks displeased, but there’s only so far that I can bend her. If I don’t allow her to try this, she won’t listen when I make a final decision.
“Maxim, take her to the car. Roman and I will grab some insurance.”
Giselle draws in a deep breath as we drive through the gate to her father’s estate and lets it out shakily. At least she seems to be on the fence, even if she’s pretending she isn’t.
Before we make it to the door, I put my hand on the back of her neck, not painfully but firmly. “You must listen to me today, Giselle. Don’t forget that I am the one who you will run to. I will not be able to do my job if you become stubborn.”
“Are you seriously that worried?”
“Anything involving you is serious to me.”
She turns her head to avoid eye contact, but I know she only wants to pretend that I don’t affect her. “Swear to me.”
“Fine. But it won’t matter, because they’re both on our side.”
“Yes, yes,” I say as I release her, and Roman knocks on the door.