Chapter 18 #2
They smiled, gave Birdie lots of kisses and praise, and trampled down the stairs.
Filled with happiness to be back with Willa, Decker sat beside her. “Good day?”
“Yeah, very good.” She glanced at the door. “You know, I offered to take over babysitting an hour ago because I knew they all had to get back to work, but Wyatt said, ‘It’s not babysitting. It’s our niece.’ Isn’t that nice? I thought that was really sweet.”
Why did it come so effortlessly to his family? The way Wyatt—basically, a recluse—kissed Birdie’s cheek, his dad let this girl play with his feet…
How come I’m not bonding with her?
He didn’t think he’d felt more lost.
Except he wasn’t lost at all, was he? He was torn. Big difference.
He needed to have a great season, and he needed to be a great dad.
And somehow, he’d have to make both work at the same time.
Which meant he had to find a balance. And right now, Birdie took priority.
I can’t leave yet.
I just can’t.
Decision made, he tipped his chin to the dresses she’d brought in. “Been shopping?”
“No, those are the Owl Hoot costumes.” Birdie was standing on the couch, pretending to wash Willa’s hair. He had no idea where she’d learned that. “Knox said we can use them until we have enough of our own. Isn’t that amazing?”
“It is.” Even more amazing was the sparkle in her eyes. He wondered if they shone like that when she was working on a case, or if maybe her true happiness was there at the inn. “It's busy downstairs.”
“I know. I can’t believe it. We’ve got an electrician and a plumber checking to make sure everything’s up to date. We went ahead and hired that chef, and—bonus—he brought along his baker, so we’ll be back to our famous breakfasts in no time.” She gave a satisfied sigh. “I’m so happy.”
Yeah, he could see that. He wanted to ingest it, let it fill his entire body like fresh air. He didn’t think he’d ever felt the kind of joy that came so naturally to her.
“Did you see those boxes when you came in? Someone donated all-new bedding. Can you imagine? Ours hasn’t been upgraded in a decade.”
“Nice.”
Once Birdie finished “washing” Willa’s hair, she began the task of clipping the bright pink barrettes.
“And I’d only hired the piano player to do evenings, but he said, with the summer traffic, he thinks we should do it twice a day.
He wasn’t going to charge me, but I told him that’s not how it works.
The guests love it so much, they're already booking for next year.” She flashed him a big, satisfied grin.
He knew the rush of a touchdown, the spike of adrenaline, but this warm, bubbly hum under his skin that lingered and spread and grew? This was new.
This was Willa.
And in that moment, he knew he wasn’t going to forget her. He wouldn’t go back to his real world and think fondly of his road trip buddy.
No, she’d become a yearning as deep and wide as what he’d felt in his childhood.
He was so screwed.
“The only thing left is to find a general manager,” she continued. “That’s going to be tough because they need experience in historic hotels.” She winced when Birdie tugged her hair. “How was your day?”
“Good. Fine.” He cleared his throat. “I think I found a nanny.”
“Oh.” The sparkle faded. “So soon?”
He was so messed up. Just looking at her erased everything Zach had just told him.
Which was too bad because he needed the reminder of why he was tearing Birdie away from his brothers, Dad, and Willa.
“She’s the best there is, and she just happened to call the agency, looking for an assignment. She’s got a perfect résumé.”
“That’s great. Why don't you look happy about that?”
“Short of retiring early and being a stay-at-home dad, there’s no good outcome here.” He looked away, keeping his tone even. Neutral. Because he didn’t have time to wallow or fall apart.
“If I leave her here, she’ll fall in love with this place. With my family. My dad’ll become the one she runs to when she’s hurt or scared or excited about something.” His jaw tightened. “And I’ll be the guy who blows in after road games with souvenirs.”
“I’m not sure kids keep score the way adults do. They love the people who keep coming back. Who show up.”
He held still for a moment, letting her words solidify in him.
“I like that.” The panic loosened its grip enough to let him take a full breath.
He moved closer, needing to touch her. “Pretty wild, right? Meeting you right before I found out I was somebody’s father?
” His gaze held hers. “I’m really glad you’re here with me. ”
“All done.” Birdie hopped off the couch. “I gone do polish now.” She sorted through her little plastic box of supplies. “Pink or poople?”
“Pink, please.”
As the little girl got to work on Willa’s toes, he went completely still.
Willa laughed when Birdie slathered polish all over her toes, and the little girl chattered on about his dad’s hairy toes. Their rapport… It was like they’d done this a hundred times before.
Something dangerous unfurled inside him.
The three of us.
Birdie. Willa. Me.
A family.
No. He shut the thought down hard.
It was impossible. Their lives wouldn’t line up for years—maybe ever. But for one staggering moment, he could see it.
And God, that feeling had more pull than any record he’d ever chased.
“Don’t do that,” she whispered, desperation in her voice.
“Do what?”
“Look tortured.” She held his gaze. “This is good. It’s all good. We’re road trip buddies, remember?” She looked at Birdie, happily dipping the brush back into the bottle. “And we picked up a hitchhiker. It’s all good.”
“You can spin it however you want, but it’s more than that for me. From the moment I saw you in the airport, I knew you were going to change my life.”
“Yeah, by making you listen to dreadful music. We’re only temporary.”
He had to touch her. Couldn’t take it one more second.
Cupping her chin, he forced her to look at him.
“It’s not about logistics or timing. I’m here with you because there’s nowhere else I want to be.
Nowhere else I feel…” Say it. If there’s a chance to make this work, you have to lay it on the table.
“Like I can just be me. I have never felt this way about anybody before.”
Her features fell. “No. Stop. What’re we doing?” Pain pinched her features. “We’re just going to make it harder on ourselves.”
“Maybe.” He leaned in. “But can you really walk away from this? Us?”
She didn’t answer, her features frozen in a mask of stark fear.
“Because I don’t think I can. Yeah, maybe it blows up in our faces.
Maybe it hurts like hell. But what if it doesn’t?
What if we can find a way to make it work?
And then we can have this.” He cupped her cheek, his thumb caressing her soft skin.
“Isn’t it worth it to try?” He kissed her on the mouth.
Her hand curled around the back of his neck and held him close. “You’re going to break my heart.”
While Decker was busy getting Birdie ready for bed, Willa knocked on her dad’s door. “You decent?” She couldn’t wait to show him the saloon.
“I'm horizontal, and I haven't broken anything. Will that do?”
Grinning, she turned the knob to find him in bed, features lit by a laptop. “You caught up on those invoices yet?”
“Yes, Willa. I’m not that slow. Did them last week.” He eyed her outfit. “I guess the costumes came in?”
She lifted the starched hem to reveal the petticoat underneath. “They did, but this is one of my old ones.”
“I never thought I’d see you dressed like this again.” His smile held affection.
“You know, I didn’t either. But the place is so much fun tonight, I wanted to join in.” She stepped inside, taking in the half-full glass of water on the nightstand. “Look at that. I didn’t even have to remind you.”
He made a face of disgust. “I’d much rather drink coffee.”
“No one took your French press away, old man. We’re just making sure you have something more than caffeine to run on.” She glanced at his screen to see some interesting designs. “What’re these?”
“Got some logos back from that company you suggested.”
“Yeah?” She checked his pill box, pleased to see he’d taken his meds. “You like it?”
Her dad angled it to give Willa a better view. “What do you think?”
“Oh, I love that one.” The smoke coming out of a lodge’s chimney was a nice touch. And she really liked the rustic font. “What’re those?” She pointed to the tools beneath Holland Woodworks.
“That’s a hand plane and a mallet.”
“Hm. Well, they might be a little hard to make out. The people buying from you aren’t woodworkers, so they might not get it right away.”
“That’s fair. How about a hammer and a saw? Or is that too simple?”
“I don’t think so. I think they should get it right away, know exactly what you’re selling.”
“Makes sense.”
From the dresser, she reached for the blood pressure cuff.
Her dad groaned. “Again?”
“Absolutely.” She held it out. “Arm.”
“I feel fine.”
“Thank goodness for that. Now, let’s get this done so I can show you something.”
“Is it green? Leafy? Is it yet another way you’re going to fix me?” He rolled up his sleeve and held out his arm.
Smiling, she wrapped the cuff, making it nice and snug. “Nope. This is even better.”
“You spend too much time with that health nut. I’m living with the food police.”
“Aw, you like him, and you know it.”
“I like his pie.”
They held a gaze, smiling. Yeah, they both liked him. But what she wouldn’t show him was how terrified she was. Because everything Decker said to her was exactly what she was feeling.
After he’d taken Birdie off for her bath, she’d stayed put. The fear pressed so hard on her chest she couldn’t move. But then, it struck her, there was no decision to make.
She couldn’t quit him even if she tried.
Because if she told him to pack up and move into the lodge, she’d spend as much energy missing him as she did wanting him. They were in too deep. There was no way to pull apart the threads binding them together.