Chapter 19 #2
Not long after her mom left, Willa had gone upstairs to get ready.
She’d given herself a facial, painted her toes and fingernails, and used a mask on her hair.
And yes, a lot of that had to do with seeing herself through her mom’s eyes.
One look was all it took to turn something that felt fun and freeing into a girl playing dress-up in a small-town bar.
After, she’d blown out her hair until it fell smooth and glossy down her back.
She’d brushed on the Chanel foundation she and her mom had “splurged” on.
She wore her new black jeans and Wild Rose Inn and Saloon T-shirt from the gift shop downstairs.
The boots were from high school. They still fit, and they made her feel badass.
And she needed that. Because she might’ve stood up to her mom, but that woman still pulled the levers.
That was the thing about growing up with a master manipulator. It made you vigilant, it made you overthink, and it made you scared. It was intended to drive you mad with worry so you gave in to her wishes as quickly as possible just to relieve the anxiety.
Willa leaned closer to the mirror, blending at her jawline. One thing she knew for sure, her mom wouldn’t assign the case to anyone else. Not yet. She’d wait and see how Willa handled the unspoken threat.
Whether she showed up to work in the next day or two was a game of chicken—and her mom always won. Because who wanted to take the risk? Her mom was ruthless. If she gave the lead to another associate, it was done. She couldn’t take it back.
Finished, she left the bathroom. In her childhood bedroom, her dad’s presence was everywhere.
If he wasn’t in the photos taped to her walls and corkboard he was taking them.
Those ice skates hanging off the hinge on her closet door?
He’d bought them for her. And the three winters when she took lessons, her dad stood at the rink, watching.
She picked up a framed photo on the dresser.
Dad had his arm around her six-year-old shoulders, pulling her in close to his thigh.
It was the county fair, and she held a giant turkey leg.
In another photo, she was behind the wheel of her dad’s truck.
He’d taught her to drive in the fairground’s gravel lot—the most patient man in the world.
She’d been truly blessed with a dad who’d never shied away from sexual education.
At sixteen, she’d gone to her first high school party, and everyone had coupled up to make out.
She sat on the floor, back against the wall, scared out of her mind at all the kissing going on, and called her dad to come pick her up.
He hadn’t hesitated to explain what all that tongue action meant.
He’d never once made her feel uncomfortable about being a woman.
As she opened her jewelry box to pull out gold hoop earrings, her phone buzzed with a message in the friend group chat.
Finlay: Jude’s working, so I got here early. Don’t worry if none of you can make it. I’ll just be sitting here, watching his biceps flex all night.
Molly: I smell like a barn, so let me shower, and then I’ll head over.
Willa: A barn? What have you been doing?
Molly: Shaping trees. It’s harder than you think.
Ava: Doesn’t your aunt hire people to do that?
Molly: Sure, but they charge by the hour, not the job, so the more we do, the quicker they can get out of here.
Finlay: Aren’t you an actual engineer?
Molly: I know, right? But it’s my aunt, and she’s getting older. She needs help.
Willa: Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t you move to Calamity and run the Christmas tree farm with her?!
Finlay: Can we talk about this in person? I’m hungry.
Willa: Order two nacho platters. And a Wildflower Fizz. I’m almost out the door.
Eloise: Don’t let me have more than two drinks tonight. I don’t want to be that woman who loses her shirt and rides the mechanical bull in her bra.
Willa: Fee, order a couple pitchers. And keep ‘em coming! And Ava, have your camera ready! We’re in for some fun tonight!
She slid her phone into her clutch and headed out of her room to find Decker in the living room, ankle elevated on the coffee table. His phone was pressed to his ear, while Birdie played with rocks on the floor.
Willa knelt beside the little girl. “What’cha doing?” she whispered so she didn’t interrupt his call.
Birdie held up a piece of agate. “Dis one miss her mommy.”
Willa jolted, then froze. She didn’t want to breathe or move a muscle. This moment was too important. “I’ll bet she does.” They’d been waiting for this conversation. She eased down onto the floor. “She must be very sad.”
The girl just kept playing with the rock, so Willa reached out a hand. “Can I talk to her?”
As soon as Birdie dropped it in her palm, Willa rubbed a finger on the smooth surface and gave it a kiss. “I’m sorry you miss your mommy. I know what it feels like because I didn’t have a mommy when I was a little girl. It made me sad.”
“You don’t gots a mommy?”
“I do now. But I didn’t have her when I was your age.”
“Dat sad.” Reaching for another rock, she got up and offered it to Willa. “Yook. You gots a mommy now.” She patted Willa’s arm.
This sweet little girl deserved the world, and the force of how much Willa wanted that for her caught her off guard. “Thank you, Birdie. That’s very sweet of you to look out for me.”
Birdie stared at the agate in Willa’s hand. “Where her mommy go?” she asked quietly.
“Her mommy isn’t here anymore, sweetheart.”
Birdie’s head tipped in confusion. “She come back?”
Willa’s chest tightened, but she kept her voice soft. “No, sweetheart. Her body stopped working, and she can’t come back.”
Birdie didn’t look up. She just turned the rock over once more.
Willa brushed her fingers over it. “But she loves her baby very much.” She pulled a few stones closer and set them around the agate. “And look—see? She’s got friends. They stay close and take care of her. She’s not all by herself.”
Birdie studied the stones, then shifted them so they touched. She picked up a pebble and scrunched her face. “Dis boy bad.” She wagged her finger at it. “Bad boy.”
“Oh, no,” Willa said gently. “What did he do?”
Birdie shoved the pebble away from the others. “He say go, ’way.”
Something in Willa’s chest tightened, but she kept her voice steady. “That’s not nice.” Was she talking about Brian? Had he said that to a scared little girl who’d just lost her mom?
Birdie shook her head hard.
“Let’s put him in time-out.” Willa opened her palm.
Birdie dropped the rock into it, satisfied. “Bad boy.”
Willa set it off to the side. “There you go. He’s far away, where he can’t be mean anymore.”
And just like that, Birdie moved on. She was back to humming and arranging the rocks in patterns only she understood.
As soon as Decker got off the phone, she’d tell him about the conversation. It wasn’t the breakthrough they’d hoped for, but it was a start.
She stood up. “All right, cutie pie. I have to go meet my friends tonight.” She brushed the hair out of the toddler’s eyes. “I’ll see you in the morning, okay?” As she started off, she tuned into Decker’s conversation.
“No, you’re locking in too soon,” he said. “When they show two-high, hold the safety with your eyes. Make him commit before you release. Half a second. That’s all you need.”
He paused, listening.
“Okay, but reps matter. If I’m not in the huddle, you still set the tempo. That room runs clean, or it doesn’t run.” There was no edge in his voice. No impatience.
He’ll be a good dad.
He ended the call and looked up. His intensity softened, and he smiled. “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” She nodded toward the phone. “Who was that?”
“My backup.”
Confused, she tilted her head. “You just made him better.”
“I mean, I’m trying.”
“Why would you do that?”
His brows furrowed slightly. “Because I’ve been watching his film. He’s missing some connections.”
“Yeah, but if he performs well, you’re out of a job. He’s your literal competition.”
“It’s my team,” he said, like it was obvious. “Even if I’m not playing, we still need to win.”
She grinned. “If someone took the lead on a case I wanted, I’d lock them in a room and run. Give bad directions. Send them to Canada. Whatever it took to be sure I got the job.”
Slowly, he stood. “Says the woman who told her mom to f—” He glanced at Birdie. “Buzz off so she could stay and take care of her dad.”
“I can be two things at once.” She gave him a defiant pout.
He chuckled and moved in closer. “Hey, what were you and Birdie talking about?”
“She showed me a rock and said it was missing its mommy.”
“Oh.” His focus sharpened. “What’d you say?”
“She asked if Mommy could come back, and I told her no, but that she loves her very much, and she’s safe. I put the other rocks around her to show she’s got people to love and take care of her.”
That big hand cupped her cheek, and the affection in his eyes nearly did her in. “I’m glad she opened up to you. Thank you for handling it so beautifully.”
“My heart hurts for her. She’s too young to understand anything. And that’s something I can relate to.”
“Should I bring it up?”
“You could, but the book we read said to wait for her to bring it up.”
“True.”
“I’m just glad I was there. I…” Emotion flooded her. “I want her to be okay. I just…Ugh. I’m in too deep.” She grabbed her purse off the kitchen counter. “I need a drink.”
He followed her to the staircase, and the way he looked at her made her pulse kick—like he wasn’t ready to let her go yet. “I wish I could walk with you.”
“It’s literally across the town square. It’s no big deal.”
“It is to me.” He checked on Birdie before stepping onto the darkened landing. Wrapping her in his arms, he kissed her.
And whoosh, she went right up in flames. This man held her like she was precious, like he couldn’t bear to let her go. His tongue did a wicked dance that kicked up a flurry of need and desire. With a flick of a switch, light flooded the stairwell, and he pulled away. “Have a good night.”
Trembling, she touched her lips. “Bad things happen in this stairwell.”
He stepped closer, crowding her. Forearm resting against the wall behind her, he towered over her, his gaze fixed on her mouth. “Dirty, filthy, hot things.”
“You’re terrible for me.”
“I’m the best thing that ever happened to you.”
Not if you’re leaving me soon. “I should go.” She smiled. “I’ll try not to wake you up when I get in.”
“First of all, you’ll call me when you’re ready to leave, and if your dad’s still up, I’ll come get you. You’re not walking across the park in the middle of the night after you’ve been drinking.”
“Ava and I will walk together. What’s the second part?”
“There’ll be no sleeping when you’re not here. There’ll be waiting.”
“Yeah? What else will there be?”
His eyelids lowered, and he licked his bottom lip. “I might have the TV on, but I’ll be thinking about you. Your face when I suck your nipples. You on your knees for me.”
“Um…this conversation is inappropriate.”
“It didn’t seem to bother you when I fucked you at the bottom of these stairs.”
“Well, that was action. These are words anyone can hear.”
“You think no one heard your cries? Why do you think I slapped my hand over your mouth? Trust me, it wasn’t for me.
I want to hear every sound you make when I’m taking you from behind—that way, I can make it better for you.
” He leaned in to speak right into her ear. “Baby, I want to make you scream.”
She wanted to strip his clothes off and run her hands all over that warm, hard body. “You’re extremely annoying.”
“Because I tell the truth?”
“Because now I have to change my panties.”
He broke out in a grin so devastating she couldn’t help but reach between them and palm his cock. His hand came down over hers and pressed. “You keep this in mind when other guys try to get with you at the bar tonight. This is what you’re coming home to.”
“Oh, honey buns. I don’t need a reminder.”