Chapter 42 Dawsen
Dawsen
Aside from playing middle man between River and Carter all weekend, the trip was incredible. Getting away from everyday life, and having a couple days to unwind and just be fully present with Birdie was incredible.
I’ve had a pretty good handle on my nerves the last couple of days, but today is the day and I can’t shake the nervous energy. I should have skipped the coffee this morning.
Carter and Casey packed up and headed out early this morning. Casey apparently had an emergency at the ranch that she needed to tend to. We told them we’d handle clean up. River, Birdie and I are just about finished closing the place down and loading up our trucks.
I see Birdie sitting on the porch steps with her notebook on her lap, scribbling something very intensely. I jog over to her and steal a seat on the step right next to her.
“What’s going on in that brain of yours, baby girl?”
She looks over at me and smiles. “Just inspired. I’m making some notes for another book idea.”
I love seeing her like this. Coming to life with ideas, seeing her creative juices flowing brings me so much joy.
I love when she feels like she can immerse herself fully into whatever passion project she’s working on.
That’s what I want for my life—to be able to make that happen for her.
To always give her an avenue to chase and pursue whatever is on her heart.
“That’s amazing. I can’t wait to hear more about it.”
She closes her notebook, and presses her body to my side, leaning her head against me.
We’re staring ahead at the view of endless pines, lightly dusted with white, powdery snow. It never snows enough to really stick here, but just enough to coat everything for a couple hours.
“This weekend was so nice. I wish we could always do this.” She sighs, and reaches across to hold my hand. I take hers in mind and rub my thumb softly against her sweet hand.
“I think our next getaway should be to Munsen. We can visit that coffee shop again. Make some new memories there?” I nudge her and huff out a laugh.
She straightens and pokes my shoulder.
“I like the sound of that.” She says warmly.
I stand up, and position myself in front of her. She’s still sitting on the step, and I look down at her, trying not to fidget. I reach into the pocket inside my jacket and pull out a small leather pouch.
Birdie is looking at me curiously, and I think she knows what’s about to happen.
I slowly lower my body down on one knee. Now we’re about eye-level as she sits in front of me. Her hands land on her lips, and she let’s out the slightest gasp.
“Birdie Banks. I’ve been drawn to you since the moment I met you. Like a moth to a flame, I would do anything to be near you. I have loved you fully and wholly, patiently, and I’ve lived long enough without you to know that I wouldn’t ever fully be living if I didn’t have you.”
I take a deep breath, reaching out for her hand and then lift it to my lips to press a kiss there.
“It would be the highest honor and privilege of my life to have you as my wife. So, with that being said, I wanted to ask you this one thing.”
Birdie is buzzing, her feet tapping with excitement.
I’m grinning from ear to ear, looking like an absolute fool.
“Birdie, will you marry me? Please.”
She launches into my arms, knocking me on my ass. She plants kisses all over my face. There’s laughter mixed with squeals of excitement on Birdie’s part.
“Babe, you haven’t even seen the ring yet!” I say, trying to put us in a more stable position instead of a pile of limbs on the ground.
I grab the leather pouch and pull out the vintage pear cut diamond ring. I take her finger and slide it onto her pink polished finger.
She pulls it up to look at it, tears rolling down her face.
“Dawsen. It’s so beautiful. Also, Yes. To answer your question.” She giggles, and jumps into my lap again.
“‘bout damn time.” River jumps out from behind a tree, holding his phone up, showing that he got the photos I asked him to take.
Me and Birdie both stand up, and she bolts to River and gives him a hug. She jumps up and down, “River, can you believe this?!” She’s waving her finger in front of his face.
“Calm down you spaz, let me get a better look.” He teases, holding her hand still.
“Good work, Daws.” He comes over to me and gives me a hug.
“Thanks for the blessing, dude.” I say.
“Wait, you asked my brother?” Birdie says, basically snorting.
“Well, yeah, I asked your dad first, so I was doing it whether River was gonna be an asshole or not.” I say, giving River a shove.
“I’m pretty much to thank for this whole relationship, so I think y’all need to give me some credit.” River says, acting all proud of himself.
“Yeah, it was all you, River.” Birdie says sarcastically with an eye roll.
* * *
There’s a few things in life I’ve come to know.
The first, is that life is precious. It’s fragile, and it doesn’t wait for anything. The second, pain can change you, but love and forgiveness can heal you.
And arguably, the most valuable lesson—love is chosen. Love shows up in the small things. It’s not something you fall into. It’s the tiny choices. It’s paying attention to details, and it’s action. Above all else.
You take a look at your life. All the shit you’ve gone through, and all the messes you’ve made. Who’s the one person that feels like home in the middle of it all? The one who chooses you, again and again.