Chapter 28
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, please,” Meela chides, getting up to grab a drink from my ice box that I keep permanently cold with my magic. She settles on an ice-cold ale. “I see the way you’ve been looking at the brooding dragon recently.”
“I don’t—”
“Don’t even,” she cuts me off.
“Fine,” I say, barely above a whisper.
“What would Daddy think of that?”
“You know he wouldn’t approve. Not even a little bit.”
She sits straight and looks me in the eyes. “Who cares.”
“What?”
“Who cares what he says. If it makes you happy…”
“He’s the king…” The truth is, I don’t care. But I’m curious to see how far I can push Meela down this path.
“So what,” she says, uncharacteristically soft, staring off at nothing in particular.
“You think I should disobey him? Or go behind his back?” It doesn’t actually matter, since Daegan wants nothing to do with me in that way anyway. My chest hurts at the thought.
“Either. Both. I don’t care.”
“Why not?”
“Because I don’t give a shit about anything,” she says, facing me again.
“You know that. None of it matters. Our cushy kingdom, how we just sit here and do nothing every day and let all the other regions make everything for us, while we give them almost nothing in return, even kill them off for no good reason…”
“What?” I perk up. “What are you talking about?”
“Nothing.”
“No, that’s not nothing.”
She faces me with a serious, yet reluctant look. “You remember that time a few years back when the king sent my father away for a temporary assignment in Arryza, and I went with him?”
“Of course.” She was gone almost a whole year, and then she came back grumpier than ever, like she wanted nothing less than to be back here. She never wanted to talk about it much, and I tried not to take any of it personally. Arryzan is a region in the northeast.
“I fell in love.”
My jaw hangs open. Meela? In love? And I had no idea? We really are bad at sharing personal things.
“With an Arryzan?” I whisper. The Arryzans are said to be beautiful.
With pointed ears and comparable statures, they’re similar to elves in appearance, but the difference is they are winged magical species who possess only healing magic.
And their wings are hard to miss, as they’re large and golden.
I’ve only met a few. They too tend to keep to their region, as do many people since the curse.
Their population is small, though their lifespans can last a thousand years.
They don’t reproduce easily. And like the dragons, they can’t fly since the curse.
“Zave Leander.” She says the name like it pains her. “The love of my life.”
Not a hint of joking to be seen on her face.
“What happened?” I whisper, afraid of the answer.
“Well, as you know. Most elves don’t take too kindly to us mixing with other species. They’re below us. How can we dare mix our precious, elite blood with a lesser kind’s?” She takes a sip of her drink. “That includes my own father.”
I hug my arms tight around myself, taking a seat across from her.
She looks at me, not a tear in her eyes.
Only pure, wrathful anger. “We weren’t there to make peace.
Your father is very sneaky with what he does, how he still keeps these other regions in line.
He keeps up the facade that we sit around and do nothing, but that’s not why we were there.
We were there pretending to offer peace and better conditions for them, but really we were there to spy and gain intel, and as soon as we left, an army was sent in to keep them contained, make them fall in line. People were protesting, you see.”
“That can’t be—”
“It’s happening. More than you know.”
I don’t argue with her. I believe every word she says.
“And Zave?” I ask, my voice shaking.
She looks into my eyes. “He was hanged.”
I gasp, my hand flying to my mouth as I shake my head. I don’t want to ask, but I’ll assume they did something horrible to him after, since Arryzans possess healing magic and they’d need to be sure he was really dead.
“My father pretended not to know of my involvement with him. But I know that he knew. He said he was hanged for treason, and for the crime of leading a rebellion. Those things are true, but that’s not the real reason.
I know my father knew about us, and very soon before we left, he brought me to the square perfectly in time with when it was happening.
I was too late. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t even know they were planning it. ”
She has kept this inside all this time. This soul-crushing thing that happened to her. And what’s happening to so many people. I have so much more understanding of my friend, suddenly. My heart aches for her.
“I’m so sorry, Meela,” I whisper. I want so badly to hug her, but I know she won’t want it. She’s stronger than I could ever be. She faces her father here every day, knowing what he did. Why? I don’t know.
“Now you know,” she mutters, taking a large swig.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the other stuff? The things that are happening out there…”
“You’re the princess.”
“And? You’ve known me my whole life.”
“I have. And you’re incredibly too caring and empathetic. There was nothing you could do. And it would only shatter your na?ve view of the world, crushing your spirit along the way. There was no point.”
I can’t be mad at her. She’s right about most of it. I am incredibly na?ve, and I’m learning that more every day. But she’s wrong about one thing. “What if there was something?”
“What?”
“What if there was something we could do? To end this reign of terror, to stop the suffering?”
She dismisses the notion. “There’s not.”
Okay, so she’s lost all hope. But she doesn’t know everything I know. Maybe if she knew we had an actual chance…
I can’t tell her without consulting Raef and Daegan, but I am going to talk to them. She deserves the chance. She might not even want to help, but she’ll keep our secret. I know it.
“How do you face him every day?” I inquire, barely above a whisper.
“I don’t, most days. Avoidance.”
“And when you can’t avoid him?”
“Strangely, I remember Zave, and it calms me.” She stretches her legs out, glancing at nothing. “Though I can barely remember his face anymore…”
My chest aches at the thought. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
She shrugs.
“Now you know. But I like to keep his memory for myself, so let’s not start talking about this all the time.”
“Okay,” I say softly. “If that’s what you want.”
“Anyway.” She takes another big gulp. “My point is… who gives a fuck if you have feelings for a dragon shifter. Go for what you want.”
I shake my head slowly. “It doesn’t matter. He’s gone from hating everything that I am to barely tolerating me,” I scoff.
“Then why does he hang around you all the time lately? He might be even more miserable than me, so I don’t see why else he’d waste his time if there wasn’t something there that interests him...”
I think that over as I play with the hem of my dress. This one is a little harder to explain.
“Who knows,” I say, standing and brushing it off. “I don’t even know what I really want, anyway.”
“Who does?”
I laugh. “I’m going to have a quick bath and get in bed.”
“Okay. I’ll probably just crash out here.”
“You can share the bed, it’s massive.”
“That’s okay, I might have another drink or two and stare at the wall or something. Sit in my feelings.”
“Okay.”
I make it to the bathroom, then turn around and watch her for a moment. She doesn’t notice me staring.
She doesn’t realize that she just gave me yet another massive reason why I must break this curse.
I have so many more questions about my father, but one thing is becoming increasingly clear.
We are not simply the bad guys for sitting around passively while everyone else suffers, like I thought.
We are the bad guys because we are still actively destroying other people and their lands.
It’s now my mission to uncover more disturbing truths that my father is responsible for.
There must be so many more atrocities I don’t know about.
Add it to my list.
When I emerge from the bathroom feeling refreshed yet somehow still feeling dirty, I find Meela still awake, petting Lemakis with one finger. “I made him sad.”
I take in Lemakis, with his unusually drooping, wrinkled leaves. “Yeah… you did.”
She nods toward the door. “The dragon is still out there.”
“What?”
“Go look.” She shrugs.
I walk to the door with hesitation, then open it and peer out.
Daegan sits on the far side of the hallway with his back against the wall and his arms hanging over his knees, hands clasped together lazily. His head is tilted back against the wall, eyes closed, and his long neck exposed.
I stare for a moment, watching him so still, so peaceful, wondering what he’s doing.
“I have to make sure you don’t wander off and pet more windows,” he says with a low, gravelly tone that’s not quite like him.
Usually his voice is smoother. Was he sleeping?
I can’t understand how he could do it in that position, but with him, I wouldn’t be surprised.
“You’ve become very important to me,” he adds, and it’s a punch to the gut.
Because I know he just means I’m important to our mission, and that I carry something vital to it.
His eyes remain closed, his head tilted back.
I glance behind me at Meela, who’s playing with a fireball in her hand, oblivious to our conversation.
Something comes over me, making me think it’s a good idea to go out there.
I take a step out quietly, closing the door behind me gently.
I take another step, and another. When I’m halfway across the hall, he finally tilts his head forward, locking eyes with me immediately.
They look sleepy, and like he has the weight of an entire village on him.
I kneel on the cold, onyx floor, right in front of his boots. He looks me up and down for a moment, curious.
I glance around me, scanning the halls.
“I want to tell her,” I whisper.
His eyes swirl with a hundred thoughts as he breathes in. “Why?” He keeps his voice quiet too, so only I can hear.
“Because I trust her with this.”
“Again… why? Why now? You weren’t sure before.”
I glance down, the tragedy of my friend’s story hitting me in the chest again.
“She revealed something to me that I never knew. She won’t compromise this.
I know it in my soul. I don’t even know if she’ll want to help.
But I just feel… like this is the right thing,” I finish with a passionate whisper.
He twists his hands around slowly, studying them while his eyebrows are pinched in thought. “What good would it do us to take this risk? It’s a big one.”
“I know. And I don’t know. Maybe she’ll know something, like Gaethri did. Who knows.” I shrug, watching him mindlessly play with his hands. His strong, calloused, warm hands. “Plus,” I say, returning my gaze to his pensive face. “You and Raef have each other in this. I have no one.”
He looks up at me then, his expression a touch softer. “Is that how you feel?”
I hesitate, then nod.
“You could have told her anyway, without my permission.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Why not?”
“Trust.”
He looks away, taking a deep breath, seeming to mull this over. “Okay,” he finally says. “I trust you. We’ll tell her tomorrow with Raef.”
My mouth parts in surprise. I didn’t expect him to agree. I expected more of a fight. “Really?”
He focuses on my eyes. “Really.”
“Thank you.”
“No problem,” he says with a teasing, sarcastic tone.
“Now get some sleep.” He tilts his head back against the wall again, closing his eyes.
He looks so much more peaceful with his eyes closed that I can’t help but stare at him for a moment.
But as my eyes roam over his large body, his all-black gear with the many weapons I know are hidden in there, I realize he’s not completely peaceful looking.
Even with his eyes closed and his body slightly relaxed, he still looks lethal.
“I think you’re the one who needs to get some sleep,” I whisper.
His eyes crack open, but his head remains tilted back. He studies my crouching form again, until his heavy eyes travel back to my face. “I’m good,” he says simply.
“Then at least come inside. We can make room…”
He continues to look at me as his chest expands, the air feeling thick between us. “No thanks.”
“You’re so stubborn.”
The corner of his lip pulls back just a little. “I won’t stay here all night. Promise.”
I sigh as I stand, towering over him for once. He watches for a moment, then shuts his eyes before I turn away. “Goodnight, Elysande.”
“Goodnight, dragon.”