Chapter 45
Two months later
The cold water surrounds me. There’s rain splashing down from above and I’m beginning to lose track of which way is up and which is down. I guess my head is still above the cold, dark sea since I’m somehow getting air in my lungs, but it feels like I’m caught in a vortex of tumultuous water.
I’ve pushed too far.
But I made it farther than I ever have, and I was too stubborn to turn around. It’s possible I waited too long, but it’s too late to change that now. All I can do is keep going until I can’t any longer.
The day the mainland comes into my sight, I will keep going. All the way. But today, on my fiftieth swim, there’s still no mainland in sight. I kept thinking if I went just a little farther, I’d see it at any moment. I did not.
I had to turn around.
And now my body is cramping, the water is becoming violent, and I’m losing hope that I’ll ever make it back. I swallow a gulp of salty water. My neck is becoming too tired to hold my head above the water.
I stop, coughing while treading water, then turn on my back to float.
I gaze up at the swirling, deep gray haze that is the veil, and feel a small twinge of regret that I never got to see the stars. I can barely see it through the angry weather, but I know it’s up there.
It’s poetic that the water will be the one to take me, I think. If some simple, magical cuffs on my wrists can completely halt my power, then I never really had true power over it.
I turn and swim slowly, fully aware that I won’t make it back. The island is still so far away. I can barely see an arm’s length in front of me with the heavy rainfall, but I know I’m nowhere close.
My arms stop moving and a cramp shoots pain through my stomach. I suck in a sharp breath, and then darkness takes me.
The last thing I see is Daegan’s dark blue eyes, and they’re disappointed in me.