Chapter 48
Another week has passed.
I haven’t made much progress with my swimming, but we’re trying.
As I look in my cracked, splintered mirror, which I rarely ever do, I realize my soft curves are turning into…
muscle. My shoulders especially look stronger.
The change probably happened slowly, but looking at myself now, for the first time in a while, it feels rather drastic.
“I’m proud of you,” Kezra tells me as we walk up the beach after a particularly brutal swim.
I scoff at her. There’s nothing to be proud of. I’m a coward, a drunk, and a pathetic excuse of a person.
I don’t say those thoughts out loud, but she must read some of them on my face.
“Do not be so hard on yourself. Punishing oneself is a useless path that too many travel, but rarely find relief in.”
I ignore her.
“I want to ask you a question that not a single creature has had the honor of in many hundreds of years.”
I stop and face her, her tiny body hovering in front of me as her golden wings flutter gently.
“What?”
“I believe in your cause, and I believe you will find your way back to it one day soon. Let me stand beside you on that journey.”
“I’m done with all of that,” I say quietly.
“You are not. This destiny chose you. The land needs you. The fairies need you. Everyone needs you.”
“No one needs me,” I growl. I don’t mean to direct it at her. It’s at myself. “They can do it without me.”
“I know that you hate yourself right now. You’re filled with sadness and hatred that’s turned into a perfect storm that you’re not strong enough to handle. Right now. But you will overcome that which fills your soul with deep agony.”
“It doesn’t have to be me. Rhydra has the sword. Raef knows what to do. Da—” I swallow. “Daegan knows what to do. He’s free now.”
“It must be you. Maethrel spoke of it.”
“You’ve talked to Maethrel?”
“Did I talk to Maethrel, or did Maethrel talk to me?” she ponders. “Either way, that witch set me on this path which led me to you, and I shall not falter. You shall not falter.”
I shake my head, holding out my arms and then dropping them with impatience. “Okay, so what is your question?”
“Fairies can form a bond with another creature. Be it an intelligent one or a… less intelligent.” She eyes me. “You decide which one you fall under…”
“The point, Kezra?”
“There’s no point. It’s a straight, smooth line, never-ending.
We will make the vow, form the sacred bond of the fairies, and together, we will be unstoppable.
Breaking the curse and freeing this land at last. The land will take its first deep breath in a thousand years, and all will be right again. Over time.”
“No thank you.”
“Not even a fool has turned down a fairy bond in our history. It will give you an advantage you cannot refuse, Elysande, Princess of Ellyar.” She focuses more intently on me. “Princess of moping.”
I turn to walk away.
“What would Meela think of what’s become of you…”
I whip my head around, stomping toward her. “She would think nothing! She’s not here! She’s dead. Because of me!”
“Your fault, it was not,” she says gently.
“Yes it was!” I yell. “I got her involved in the whole mess, it was my father who was watching me, it was me who was too stupid, na?ve, and blind to think we could get away with it!”
“Meela did what she wanted, never what she didn’t want. She wanted to help, knowing the risk. Give her that respect.”
“You didn’t even know her,” I say in a low, vicious tone.
“I followed you for years. I know them all. Better than you, perhaps.”
Tears threaten to break free from my eyes.
“That is why I know that Daegan would never abandon you. He will come, whether the trees fall or the wraiths sing. Of that, I am certain.”
The way she speaks the words with absolute certainty sends a knife through my gut. Because I still don’t believe it. I’ve given up hope for everything, and they’re fools to depend on me.
“Why offer the bond to me? What advantage does it give you? What is the point?”
“We will both become stronger with our magic. Yours and mine will combine, forming a force that any being should cower to behold. I cannot say for sure the extent, as each bond is different, but I can show you what we’re capable of… one small stone at a time, as to not overwhelm you.”
“And if we never get off this island?”
“It is written in the fates that we shall.”
“When? How?”
“When the winds deem it so.”
“So you don’t know.”
She quirks an eyebrow at me. “I do not know,” she finally admits.
“You just like to pretend to hold all the knowledge of the universe.”
She juts her chin out. “I know a great deal.”
“Okay.”
“So you will do it?”
“Fine.”
“Your spirit knows no bounds,” she notes sarcastically. “I’m partial to the you of old.”
“So am I,” I grumble.
“Hold your palm out.”
I do as she says, and then she approaches, landing in my palm. “Open your mouth and bring me closer.”
“What?”
She looks at me with genuine concern. “Did your ears become injured when the tides nearly claimed you as their own?”
“No.”
“Okaaay…” she says slowly, eyeing me with more concern. “I said open your mouth.” She speaks louder this time, enunciating the words.
I open my mouth to the small fairy who stands in my palm in front of me, her greenish-blue hair vibrant and glowing. All of her is glowing, really, but I particularly like the shade of her hair, I decide as I study her.
I jerk back as something light and powdery hits my mouth. It tastes like… well, I don’t really know. Something pleasant, and unlike any texture I’ve ever experienced.
“Close your mouth now, please. It reeks of your poisonous drink.”
I snap my mouth shut, giving her a scowl. “Now what?”
“That’s it.”
“That’s it?”
She tilts her head. “Are you sure you didn—”
“My hearing is fine!” I snap, a little too loud. She flies off my hand and creates some distance.
“That is it. You ingested my fairy dust, and the effects will be felt soon.”
“Couldn’t anyone track a fairy down and eat some of their powder in order to win that bond?”
She scoffs. “When someone unwanted catches a fairy, the seas will dry.”
“Literally?”
“No, not literally.” She rolls her eyes.
“I mean, it’s not outside the realm of possibility.” I gesture to the veil above us. It wouldn’t be the first devastating curse to plague our land.
“No one would catch us. And besides, it wouldn’t work. I must speak the sacred words of the bond first, which I did. In my head. Otherwise, the dust does nothing.”
“Oh.”
She places her hands on her tiny hips.
“Well, I’m going to take a nap. I’ll let you know if anything starts feeling different.”
With that, we part ways. The responsibility of what I just took on weighs heavily on me as I walk through the halls. I’m about to go looking for a drink when a cold realization washes over me. I run back outside in search of Kezra, a heavy knot forming in my stomach.
I just realized—I don’t know where she goes when she’s not pestering me. Stupidly, I hadn’t thought about it at all. I don’t think about much of anything.
“Kezra!” I yell into the cold air.
Not a soul is in sight. The military barracks and training facilities are on the far side of the island, just a cluster of small structures from this vantage point.
“Kezra!” I yell again.
“Already?” she asks, appearing from somewhere behind me.
“Where do you go?”
“Please rephrase the question with a better reference.”
“When you’re not here, where do you go? You can get off this island.”
“I can. But I haven’t strayed far since I revealed myself to you.”
“You can go to him and help. Go to all of them. Why waste your time here?”
“You needed me most.”
“I did?”
She glares at me with judgement all over her face.
“But still. You can go and find them. Tell them…” Tell them what?
That I’m still trapped here? They must know that.
I thought I was onto something for a minute.
I thought she could go and help free them.
But I forgot for a brief lapse that they’re apparently already free. And they’re still not coming.
My shoulders droop.
“I cannot go now, anyway.”
“Why not?”
“The bond. I cannot go far from you now, nor can you travel far from me.”
“What will happen?”
“It will break. Not all at once, but slowly, the farther we drift. And one cannot be made again.”
“Okay. Could be worse.”
“Everything can always be worse.”
True. I feel like a fool now. I thought I had a breakthrough for a moment there. I thought I could use her to communicate with someone off the island. But what would I have her say anyway? Have her beg them on my behalf to come rescue me?
Pathetic.
“Never mind,” I sigh.
“He screams your name in his slumbers.”
I snap my head toward her, my heart suddenly filled with an unbearable ache. “What?”
She sighs.
“Daegan,” I whisper.
“The one who smells of fire and burns even brighter,” she says with a nod.
“You saw him?”
“When they still had him chained,” she confirms.
I cover my mouth with both hands. I want to ask more, but I can’t bear to know.
“He escaped,” I tell myself. “He escaped,” I say again in a whisper.
“I know not what path he is on now. I have been here.”
I nod, feeling disappointed. I had hope for a moment that she knew more of his whereabouts. Of all their whereabouts.
“And Rhyrdra and Raef? Are they safe?”
“As safe as they can be… last I saw.”
There’s a tiny ember somewhere deep inside of me that’s still holding out hope. Most days, I don’t realize it’s still there, but now and then I feel the flicker. Usually when I hear his name spoken, or his face appears in my mind. But if I don’t get off here soon, I fear it may burn out forever.