Chapter 52
I wake in the night and find Rhydra at the bow watching the oars. We’re really drifting more than anything, but it seems like she’s paddling now and then.
The water is calm. It’s having that effect on me too. It’s peaceful out here. I have a feeling that as soon as we hit land, everything is going to change again. We’ll be on the run.
“What have you guys been doing the last year?” I ask her.
“Looking for you. And hiding. And running.”
“You were?” I whisper.
“He was relentless.”
My heart sinks. I sit up and put my face in my hands, rubbing at my temples. “I tried. Until I didn’t.” I tilt my head up again, whispering into the frigid night air. “I’m ashamed of who I became. She would have been so disappointed in me.”
Rhydra shakes her head. “I don’t know what you went through, but no she wouldn’t. We’ve all been doing what we can to survive, and what matters is we’re all reunited again now. The order lives on, and the plan continues.” She eyes me. “That is, if you’re still in?”
I incline my head. It’s not a fast, eager agreement, but she seems satisfied. I don’t miss the concern in her eyes as she watches me though. I look away out of fear that she’ll be able to see right through me, straight to the coward I’ve become.
“So, they cuffed you and trapped you on an island.”
I acknowledge her words with a dip of my chin once again, not meeting her gaze.
“Seems like an ironic punishment. Trapped by water when you’re—”
“Yep.”
“When did you get them off?”
“A few days ago,” I answer quietly. “I had a new plan…”
“Seduce your way off the island?”
My head whips to the side at the new voice. Daegan is leaning back, arms folded, in the same position he was sleeping in, except now his eyes are open, and he’s looking at me. I open my mouth to answer, but words don’t come right away. Yes, that’s basically what I was trying to do.
“Well… excuse me, but I was out of ideas. No one was coming for me, and all my other plans were massive failures.” I hate that my voice cracks a little, but I continue anyway. “I couldn’t save myself. I couldn’t save anyone. I was a fucking failure.”
Something flashes across Daegan’s eyes as he looks at me, and Rhydra’s gaze softens. I hate it. I look away.
“Where did you hide, Rhydra?” I ask, changing the subject and avoiding everyone’s gaze.
“Wherever I could. We went to Torrynth, at first. Raef and me. He was going through it, for a while.” I glance at her and find sadness in her eyes.
“But then a few elven soldiers started showing up, poking around. They knew we were there, and instead of letting the shifters stand up for us and put themselves at risk, we decided to leave. We didn’t want to stay put anyway, since we had some rescue missions to plan, and more research to do.
We bounced from inn to village, with Raef mostly having to sneak me into places.
It’s hard to hide as a woman taller and wider than most males when you’re a fugitive. ”
I keep my focus on her, listening intently.
She looks like she wants to say more, but she eyes the sleeping, hunched over passenger whom she’s unfamiliar with, and I return a look of understanding. Soon. Soon, we will all catch up and lay everything out on the table. And I’ll have to admit to them what a failure I am. I’m no hero at all.
I chance a look at Daegan again, whose mere presence has consumed me, even if I refuse to look his way. He’s sitting up now with his hands laced together, his elbows resting on his knees, and his head hanging down.
Being this close to him yet feeling so far away, feeling like I can’t touch him, is more painful than anything I’ve endured so far.
He was the flicker deep down inside of me that kept me going, even if I refused to face that truth most days.
And now he’s here, and it’s like we’re almost back to how things were when we first met.
I stand, suddenly feeling hot, panicked, and anxious. I feel Rhydra’s concerned gaze on me. And his.
“I’ll be back,” I mumble.
And then I dive over the side of the boat into the cold, black, welcoming water. The initial shock wipes my mind clean for a moment, and I begin to work my arms. Faster and faster, until they begin to fatigue.
I finally stop, tread water, and look back.
I can barely see the lights on the boat from here.
I lie on my back and look up at the black sky.
I can see the faintest hint of a blueish green tint in the veil, as if there’s some grand light show above it that we’re missing out on.
I think I’ve read about this before in old historical texts, but I can’t remember what they called it.
Feeling a little calmer, I begin my journey back to the boat, which looks like it’s stopped moving. With the help of a little water magic, I propel myself along, traveling through the water much faster this time.
I would’ve gotten off the island ages ago if they hadn’t fucking taken that from me.
I approach the boat quietly and pick up on some chatter.
“No, we really should look for her.” I didn’t realize Phaedra cared what happened to me, to be honest.
“She’ll be fine. She’s a water elemental. Let her have a moment,” Daegan grumbles. But his voice sounds tense, impatient.
“She already drowned once on my watch and nearly died.” Damn it, Phaedra.
“What?” Daegan. Sounding startled. Sounding… scary.
“Yeah. When Adrian first showed up she got this crazy idea that she could swim off the island. Without her magic. I guess she wanted to be away from him that badly. It took a while for her to dry up though, and she had a lot of… setbacks.”
“Dry up?” Daegan asks. Demands.
“Yeah… she, uh… had quite the drinking habit. Is she not normally like that?”
Nobody answers. There’s a long silence. I’m about to alert them to my presence when I hear Daegan’s voice again.
“Did he hurt her?”
“No,” Phaedra says immediately. Almost defensively. “Adrian would never…”
A grunting sound comes from Daegan, and then I grab onto the ladder on the side and pull myself up.
All eyes are on me as I climb back into the boat, but Daegan’s already on his feet, handing me a large, thick hide of some sort. He holds it out and I step into it, already shivering as he wraps it around me. Somehow, he completely avoids making any sort of contact with me though.
“Thanks,” I mumble, tucking my chin into myself, shivering more.
Everyone is awake now. Great.
Even Kezra is hanging out by herself at the front of the boat. Sometimes she’ll fly off to who knows where, but she always comes back for a while. She probably just flies over the ocean by herself for some peace. Sort of like what I just did.
“Hey, Kezra?” I call out to her. I can’t really see her face, but somehow, I know her attention has shifted to me. “How is it you’re the only creature that we know of on the whole continent that can still fly?”
“An elf does not know a fairy’s greatest secrets, just as a fairy does not know a witch’s greatest secrets.”
“What?” Raef says.
“It means she doesn’t know why the curse works the way it does, just like the rest of us,” Rhydra explains. She leans closer to me. “I like the fairy,” she tells me more quietly with a grin.
“Yeah, I knew what she meant,” Raef says, waving her off.
“Then why ask? Do you struggle with hearing also?” Kezra questions him.
Raef heaves an exaggerated sigh and doesn’t answer her question.
“I wonder if the witch even knew what she was doing when she cast it,” he mumbles.
That’s a fair point. I’ve wondered that myself once or twice.
We may never know all the answers though.
If anyone knows more about that, it would be Maethrel. But he likes to keep his secrets.
Magic holds many secrets that we may never understand.
I still haven’t felt much different since Kezra initiated her bond. Not that I’ve had much time to focus on that. When I get time alone with her again, I’m going to ask more questions.
“We should head for shore soon,” Rhydra tells Raef, who’s sitting beside her, paddling.
He nods.
“How far south do you think we got?”
Raef shrugs. “We’ll find out.”
“What the… what is that?” I ask Raef, dumbfounded, as he pulls something from his pocket and begins to fasten them to his ears.
He smirks. “I’m an elf now, baby.”
I have no words.
“It’s a lot harder to travel these lands as a dragon shifter nowadays, Sand. The world is changing. These give us a little bit of security.”
“They look so real,” I say in awe. “There’s no way Daegan—” I begin to say before stopping myself.
“Oh, he doesn’t have a choice. I have to make his ass do it every single time, though.”
“As if you could make me do anything,” Daegan responds.
“I could, and I have.”
I’m so relieved to find Raef with his same cheerful, joking demeanor. Though I will admit, even his light seems to have dulled just a little, and I’m terrified we’re not even through the worst of this.