Chapter 2
T he blaring glare of my TV was the only indication of light this morning, since it was still dark outside. I closed my eyes again and counted down from five, but before I could hit three, my bed dipped in. It was hard as hell to hold back my smile as I pretended to still be asleep. I even snored, just to emphasize my point.
A little hand pulled at my t-shirt, then went to my cheeks.
“Daddy! I know you not sleep!” Charlie yelled.
Her giggles filled the air as I grabbed her and pulled her beneath the covers with me. Sometimes, I wished I could just hold her still and stop her from growing older or ever getting any bigger. But that wasn’t life, and all I could do was buckle in for the ride.
“I gotta go to school,” she said in between giggles.
Charlie tried to wiggle free from my grip, but I held on for a few more minutes before releasing her.
“You not trying to stay home with your dad? We can have pancakes and go to the park,” I told her.
I knew I was being a bad influence, but today was one of the few days that I actually had off. I didn’t have any scheduled tattoos, and I enjoyed spending time with my daughter. She was dope as hell. I would have never imagined myself preferring to hang with a child over anyone else a few years ago. But, now there was no better company than Charlie.
She sat back with her curly dark hair in two lopsided ponytails, wearing a princess Raya nightgown. She was the cutest thing. She looked so much like my mom, it was crazy.
“Hmm, can we get ice cream, too?” she asked.
I chuckled because she wouldn’t be my daughter if she didn’t bargain. I pulled back my blanket and got out of bed to lift her out.
“I guess we can make a stop for ice cream, but only if we get to go by the shop for a moment.”
She poked out her lip and crossed her arms against her chest. “No fair. The shop is downstairs.”
I smiled and playfully pinched her cheek. “Is that a poor sport I hear?”
She shook her head no as I tickled her.
“No, daddy! I’m a good sport.”
I leaned in and kissed her cheek, then began heading for her room.
“That’s what I like to hear. Now, let’s go get fresh!”
She smiled as I set her on her feet and she rushed into her room, straight for her closet. When it came to what she wore to school, I let her have full control. I mean, whenever I saw her getting too out there, I would make a few suggestions, but that was it. I wanted her to be bold and confident; I didn’t want western standards to control her. The shit controlled more than enough with grown women, and I wasn’t allowing it with my baby girl.
She picked out a pair of jean shorts with white daisies and a white floral shirt. The shit didn’t match exactly, but it was close enough. I smiled down at her with a nod, then turned to head to her dresser to grab her undergarments.
“And these!” she announced showing me her bright pink rain boots.
“You sure those are the ones?” I asked.
She gripped her hips and scowled. “Yes, daddy! I love these boots.”
I held up my hands in mock surrender.
“I know you do. I just wanted to check. Let’s go brush our teeth so we can cook breakfast,” I told her.
She dropped her boots and then rushed out to the hallway bathroom. This little girl kept me lively, and I never had to feel bad if I skipped a day of working out because she had the energy of about ten kids in one. I know she couldn’t have gotten that shit from me; I’ve always been chill. I don’t know about her mother, since we met when she moved to Rose Haven around ninth or tenth grade.
It didn’t help that her mother didn’t spend a single second with her. I had never seen myself as a single father. Shit, I hadn’t seen myself as a parent at all. Before Charlie, I didn’t know what I would do, but when she was born and I realized she would need me more, I stepped up.
Once we finished brushing our teeth, we made our way to the kitchen to cook breakfast together. It was the one thing I tried to make time for at least once a week. Normally, I would give her a bowl of cereal and then rush her off to school. Which was why I tried to take time to spend with her just to have fun.
After we finished and ate breakfast, we got dressed, and then I fixed her ponytails. Instead of driving, we decided to walk to the park, but we had to go to the shop first. I was lucky enough after I found out about Charlie that the previous owner of the shop was my mentor. He offered me the apartment over the shop and all I had to do was pay a monthly rent with the utilities. Not long after my daughter was born, Mr. Johnson passed the shop down to me and now, I owned it.
I reached out to grab Charlie’s hand as we made our way downstairs to the shop. I tried once more before we left to see if she wanted a different pair of shoes, but she was locked in on those pink boots.
“Remember, Off The Wall first, then the park,” I reminded her.
“And ice cream!” she added.
I chuckled as we made it into the shop. It was in full swing. “Yeah, and then ice cream!”
Charlie wiggled her fingers within mine, so I released her hand. She took off toward the back of the shop where some of her toys were. I shook my head and began checking in on everyone before I left for the day.
“Doc, how has today been going so far? I know it’s still early. Do you have jobs lined up for today?” I asked one of my leading tattoo artists.
He looked up from behind the desk with a smile and nodded.
“What’s up, Ben? Yeah, man, I got some cool shit to do today, too.”
I nodded as I went through the stack of mail placed behind the counter. I was about to respond when the bell chimed, alerting us to a new customer. I looked up, only to be irritated.
“Hey, baby daddy,” Tierra announced as she walked toward us.
I glanced over my shoulder in Charlie’s direction, and she hadn’t noticed her yet, which I was beyond thankful for. Whenever her mother came around, she acted as if she didn’t see her and that shit would piss me off. Not only that, it would have my daughter wondering why her mother didn’t want anything to do with her.
“Don’t piss me off. Didn’t I tell you to stop coming around here?” I said, as I quickly rounded the counter.
“Ben, you don’t fucking own this block! I can go wherever I please and I damn sure can go wherever my child will be.”
She waved her hands belligerently then hiccupped before bursting into laughter. I shook my head as I grabbed her upper arm and led her out of the shop. She was making all the noise she could. I knew if she hadn’t gotten Charlie’s attention earlier that she had now.
“Take your fucking hands off me!” she screamed over and over.
Once we were outside, I released my hold on her.
“I’m not going to keep telling you this! Unless you want to get the help you need – and that means going to a rehab center – then you need to stay away from here. I’m not going to keep playing these games with you. Don’t you think your daughter deserves more than this? Because I sure as hell do.”
“Fuck you! You don’t get to judge me. You don’t get to tell me what to do. Ben, please. I just need ten dollars. I haven’t eaten in a few days.”
Her personality always switched up when she wanted something. I hated to see a once vibrant and sassy woman reduced to this. It pissed me off every time she popped up, begging for everything but a relationship with her child. Charlie wasn’t someone she thought of, only the one thing she figured she could play on to get things out of me.
I released a sigh, then looked back towards the window of my shop to see my daughter standing at the door with wet, wide eyes. That shit broke my heart every time.
“Look what you did! You know what, you want ten dollars, you’re going to earn it,” I said.
Tierra leaned forward with a smirk as she reached for the waistband of my shorts. I knocked her hands away with a lift of my brow.
“Fuck out of here. Nah, you’re going to talk to our daughter. She misses you.”
Tierra’s eyes widened as she stared at Charlie, then back up at me. She slowly backed away from me.
“Don’t do this, Tierra. I will give you fifty.” I pleaded.
But she kept moving away. She glanced once more at our daughter, then back at me.
“I’m sorry, I can’t,” she said.
She turned and ran soon after.
“Fuck!” I yelled.
I knew what would be left behind after she ran. I turned and my heart broke into pieces as my daughter cried. I stepped back into the shop and lifted her into my arms. This was the same song and dance any time her mother came around. I figured this time, I could have at least convinced her to talk with Charlie, but I should have known better.
The day I planned was over faster than it started.
* * *
LATER THAT NIGHT… CHROME BAR
I sat in the booth in the back of the bar. I needed a drink after the day I had, so I ended up taking Charlie to my parents. I couldn’t get that anger off me and I didn’t like being in my daughter’s presence when it came over me.
“Can I get you another drink?” the bottle girl asked.
I glanced up from my phone and nodded just as my phone vibrated. I picked it up and my boy Jordan was calling, so I answered. He was the only person outside of my parents who knew the ins and outs of this situation with Tierra.
“What’s up?” I answered.
“Just checking in to see if you’re going to this ten-year reunion.”
I chuckled at the thought. I hadn’t thought about East Rose High since I went there, so I damn sure didn’t have plans on chilling with folks, reminiscing about times I didn’t miss.
“Nah, I’m gone pass on that. I have more than enough going on and I don’t need to add on old high school shit.”
“Aww shit, Tierra showed up and fucked up your day, huh?” he asked.
The bottle girl had just placed my drink in front of me, so I took a drink before responding.
“Man, Charlie cried for hours, asking me why her mom didn’t want anything to do with her. We had a full day planned, and she didn’t even want the ice cream anymore.”
“Charlie, not wanting ice cream. Yeah, it had to be bad. What the hell happened?”
I shook my head and ran my hand over my waves.
“Tierra’s usual shit, coming to the shop, asking for money. I have told her on more than one occasion to stay out of my shit. But when it comes to what she wants, she doesn’t care. She caused all of this for ten fucking dollars! I offered her fifty, man, just to speak to Charlie and she couldn’t even do that.”
I could feel myself getting angry all over again.
“Man, I hate to hear little bit has to keep going through that. You might have to get a restraining order on her or something,” he offered.
I chuckled. “You know they aren’t going for that shit. It’s going to be the same thing. Let’s just talk about something else. I saw you put up thirty points all by your damn self last night.”
“Man, you know this shit is light work for me. Now, back to this class reunion. I think I’m going to go, shit, why not? If for nothing else, just to see what everyone has gotten themselves into. If I go, you gotta go.”
“Says who? If you want to be in there taking pictures all night, that’s on you. I’m the only parent my daughter has, and the little time I do have left outside of work is hers.”
“If that’s the case, what are you doing in the bar right now? We all need a moment where we aren’t needed. You need a second to just be Ben. At least think about it,” he pointed out.
I heard him loud and clear, but it was hard to separate the two when I was all my daughter had.
“I’ll think about it.”