Chapter 21
Chapter Twenty-One
Never had a feeding been like that.
Then again, never had a vampire barreled through all of my defenses as if they never existed to him. I wanted him, craved him even. But as my release quieted and he healed the bites, fear edged its way through my mind.
“If I was to feed another, would that sickness happen again?”
Lord Azad paused as he pulled up my bodice before smoothing my sleeves over my shoulders. “Yes, it would.”
That had not been the case for my mother.
She’d been blood mates to three different immortals, but she had never been unable to feed another.
Granted, in the outer city our pool of regular immortals was much smaller than in Oylen.
Most vampires were coming from the inner city or else from a neighboring town like Chynon because the prices were cheaper and the threat of the Covenant less imposing.
“Is the bond different for everyone?”
He shifted me off his lap and knelt, guided me to step into my underwear and pulled them up my thighs. I shivered at the brush of his cold hands on my skin, followed by the press of his lips to my leg.
“An invoked bond is the same for everyone,” he answered, smoothing the wrinkles in my worn dress and then encouraging me to sit.
Instead of settling beside me, he circled to the back of the settee, ran his fingers through my hair and untangled the locks.
“But once sealed they can strengthen and manifest in slightly different ways.”
“I did not know there was a difference.” My mother had never said anything about invocation or sealing.
He hummed. “One must drink from their mate while they are joined with the intention of sealing the bond to do so. Until then the bond is only invoked. I feel the call of the mating bond, the…urge to protect and care for you. But I cannot hear your thoughts directly or find you without your scent to lead me.”
My heart twisted in my chest. So it was the invoked bond that encouraged him to care for me because my blood appealed to him.
I swallowed down the acid rising in my throat, cursing myself for the disappointment seeping through my bones.
“It sounds much like when a human or Lycan drinks a vampire’s blood. ”
He twisted my hair at the nape of my neck. “It is. Hand me your pin.”
I felt around the cushion beside me for the tarnished pin I used to keep my hair up and handed it to him. “Then what is the difference?”
He secured the twist in place, leaning down to press a kiss to where my neck met my shoulder. “One is temporary, the other is not.”
Lord Azad came around the settee, lowered to one knee and covered my hands with his.
His eyes were bright from the feeding, gold swirling across his irises, with a slight flush in his golden-brown cheeks.
But unlike with other immortals, I could not see the hint of the man he had been however many thousands of years ago.
All I could find was his magic, his strength, and the preternatural stillness that crept upon them with age—as if he were carved from stone.
“Would you consider taking my blood?”
A pounding began in my temple and I found I could not look at him.
Unbidden, the image of my mother floated back to me when she had been younger, before life had leached away her beauty.
My father with his arms wrapped around her middle.
Her body bent double with her screams as she reached for the locked door.
The words repeated over and over: He left me, he left me, he’s gone.
What could I say to this male before me? To deny him would be to risk losing his patronage, and was I not now reliant upon him to support myself and my family if what he said was true?
He tracked each small movement of my face and reached up to smooth the furrow between my brows. “I will not force you to do anything you do not want, Adrienne.”
I caught his wrist with my hand, giving in to the urge to press it to my cheek, and nodded, though he knew it was not in agreement to his offer. He blew out a breath, lifting his free hand until he was cradling my face.
“Time will teach you that I am not your enemy, my heart, and I am willing to wait as long as it takes.”
Rising to his feet, Lord Azad pressed his lips to mine. His attention snagged on an empty corner of the room for a moment before he kissed me again. “May I call on you tomorrow?”
I bit the inside of my cheek. “Tomorrow is my day off. I planned to spend it at Cavera lan Aiyah.”
He nodded. “Of course. If you ever wanted, you are welcome to my estate any time day or night to play your pianoforte as well.”
In only a few strides he went to the curtain and I stood. “That is not my pianoforte.”
Lord Azad’s smile was blinding as he turned to me, the curtain drawn back with one hand. “Yes, it is, little bird.”
Noah arrived at dawn to walk us back to the townhome.
Someone had been there in our absence, judging by the full pitcher of water and the remnants of a simple meal at her bedside, but Jules had not improved at all.
She clutched a handkerchief in her fist and my stomach swooped as a splatter of blood peeked through her fingers.
“How did she do?” Jules rasped while Lilith was in the kitchen.
I perched on the mattress beside her. “You’ve trained her well. She was perfect.”
“And you? How was Lord Durham?”
Tonight had been his usual night to visit—in all the chaos I’d forgotten. I kept my face smooth but her sleek brows still pulled together. “Exuberant as always.”
“What happened?”
Lilith bustled back into the room, shooing Noah from his seat at the window, where he flipped through another recipe book, so she could close the curtains on the rising dawn. “Addie wasn’t feeling well, so I sent him to finish his session with Liam,” she answered for me.
I shot her a grateful look but Jules pursed her lips. “Not feeling well?”
“Yes… The moment he touched me I felt nauseous and it intensified as he drank.”
“Oh, darling,” she breathed, covering my hand with hers. It was cold, as if she’d been holding her hands in snow.
“Eamon has asked for her to be his exclusive giver,” Lilith continued, unaware of the concern on her mother’s face as she flitted through the room.
“And how do you feel about that?” Jules asked me.
I frowned, but it was more at the tremor in her hand and the fact that no matter how much I cupped it in mine, it took on no warmth. “Lord Azad is very generous.”
Jules rolled her eyes. “Yes, he is. How do you feel about his offer?”
“Overwhelmed, but it appears I have no other option.”
Lilith slipped from the room again, murmuring about changing. The sound of her bedroom door closing cut through the silence as Jules observed me.
“Noah, will you please grab me a fresh handkerchief? There’s one in the parlor on the table beside the window.”
He stood, closing the book with a snap. “You humans never say what you mean—it’s exhausting. I’ll come back in five minutes and keep Lilith out too.”
I couldn’t help but smile as he turned on the threshold and tugged the door closed behind him. But the moment we were alone discomfort wormed its way through my stomach.
“You are his mate?” she asked softly.
With a nod, I focused on smoothing the covers around her until she took both my hands.
“Then why work at Risqeu at all? He will provide for you and your family. There is no reason to stay.”
Warmth bubbled through my chest as Jules spoke.
It might have been the first time in my entire life that I finally realized someone was treating me as if I was more than just what I could offer them.
When I’d first met Lilith and Noah I hadn’t trusted them, had second-guessed each interaction.
It would have been in Jules’ best interest to convince me to stay at Risqeu, to keep Lord Azad as my only client.
I sniffed, scrunching my nose at the burn from my tears. “I cannot leave you, and he will grow tired of me sooner or later—what will I do then?”
My name was nothing more than a sigh as she gripped my hands a little tighter.
“You can leave me, darling. You cannot spend your whole life caring for those around you and never for yourself. Eamon is a good male and as your mate he would never abandon you. In truth, I do not think a vampire would be capable of leaving his blood mate either way.”
She couldn’t know that truly. I’d seen it happen again and again.
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her about my mother and her blood mates, to ask if perhaps it had all been a lie but she lurched forward, coughing into the handkerchief she’d dropped.
Blood splattered across her fingers and her breath rattled in her lungs.
I guided her back to the pillows, pouring a fresh glass of water. “You need to rest.”
Jules coughed again, though it was softer than before. “You sound like Mateo.”
“Mateo has the right idea. I’ll get Lilith.”
Before I could turn, she grabbed my wrist. “When your mother wrote to me saying her daughter would be coming to Oylen and looking for work, I didn’t think much of it.
It was not the first time I’ve received letters from a parent looking for a fresh start for their child.
But do you know why I agreed to hire you when we met? ”
I worried the inside of my cheek with my teeth and shook my head. “No, I do not.”
Her smile was weak and it set my throat to aching.
“Because I saw in you the same thing I see in the mirror. I am what I have become because that is what I have been raised to be. Honed, crafted, and sharpened like steel. Except in my case, it was done out of love and I agreed because I honor my family and the legacy they have left behind.”
She left the rest unsaid, but I did not need to hear it. Instead, I nodded, leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “I thank the goddess every day you took me on.”
I padded to the door, stopping again when she called out to me.
“Trust him, Adrienne, if you will not trust yourself.”