July 20 #4
Steven let his shoulders drop. “He’s right, Zane. Mike will never stop being angry about it.”
“Mike’s never going to stop being angry regardless of whether we fire Claud or not,” Zane answered. “He’s an angry guy. Always has been. He’s jealous of me and this whole mess is only making it ten times worse.”
“Yeah, it’s definitely affecting him,” Rusty added. “By the end of the tour, I don’t think he was sober for more than ten minutes.”
“Maybe we need to give him an ultimatum,” Zane said. “He goes to rehab or he’s out.”
“Maybe you should do it as a group,” Kitty suggested. “You could all stand to clean up your acts. You’re not spring chickens anymore. Someone’s going to end up dead.”
Rusty scoffed. “Look at Keith. Dude does way more drugs than all of us combined, and he’s still going strong.”
Kitty shook her head at him. “I’m serious, Russ. I’m worried about you guys.”
“Aww, come on, Kitty,” Steven said. “That’s just life on the road. You know it.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” she answered. “And if you put it to Mike like you’re all going to stop with the booze and the drugs, it won’t feel like an attack.”
“Yeah, well, he’s the only one with a problem,” Zane said, anger flowing through him at the memory of Mike pushing Claudia.
“He’s the only violent one. He’s the one who showed up at my little girl’s birthday party shit-faced and ready to fight.
What kind of man does that?” Folding his arms across his chest, he said, “If anyone should be kicked out of the band, it’s him. ”
Rusty and Steven’s mouths both dropped. Dean’s head snapped back.
Sienna gasped. “Oh my God, it’s worse than I thought.
You’re actually in love with her.” She leaped to her feet and stormed off.
Down the hall, the door to their bedroom slammed and Zane knew he was in for a long night of fighting with his wife.
And fuck if that didn’t make him want to have a drink.
“I can’t believe you’d even consider that,” Rusty said. “Mike’s your best friend. He’s one of us. And you want to drop him and keep her?”
Zane threw his hand up. “Why should she have to suffer because he’s being a dickhead?”
“Because he’s struggling, man,” Rusty told him. “He needs help. He doesn’t need to be abandoned by his best friends for one stupid mistake.”
“It’s a pretty big fucking mistake,” Zane ground out. “He could have hurt my child. He put his hands on Claud and he called her a dumb slut. What part of that is okay?”
“None of it,” Kitty answered. “But you don’t drop someone after over thirty years together over one bad day. If he agrees to get clean, he deserves another chance.”
“Nobody asked you,” Zane told her.
Rusty pointed a finger at him. “Watch it, Zane.”
Not used to being challenged, and certainly not enjoying it, Zane narrowed his eyes. “Or what? You’ll kick me out of the band?”
“I’ll kick your ass, is what I’ll do,” Rusty said, his hand now folded into a fist.
“Enough,” Kitty said. “You’re best friends.
You need each other. And Mike needs you too.
Now, getting rid of Claudia might not be the answer to all of this, but it certainly would be a step in the right direction.
Everything was fine before she got here.
And it’ll get better after she leaves, even if it takes a while. ”
Scoffing, Steven said, “It wasn’t fine, Kitty. Zane’s ego sucks the air out of every fucking room.”
“Oh, is that so?” Zane asked, turning on Steven.
Steven, who had forty pounds on Zane, nodded at him, maintaining eye contact. “Yeah, that’s so.”
“Well, maybe you can find some other band too. You two and Mike can start one up together. You can call it The Has-Beens and you can play dive bars in every one-horse town in America.”
“Fuck you,” Steven said.
“Fuck you,” Zane answered.
“Fuck all of you,” Dean spat out.
The guys all turned to him, wide-eyed at his words.
He ran his fingers through his hair and growled.
“You want to talk about egos? The four of you have egos big enough to fill the entire universe. All four of you. That should’ve been the name of the band—The Egos, not The Vows.
You’re a bunch of middle-aged, drugged-up divas, all with your special requests and demands.
” He put on a mocking tone. “I can’t sleep unless I have three feather pillows, not two, not one.
Three. I can’t go on stage without my Evian face spray.
Why does Zane always get the big room? I want the big room for once. ”
“You guys seriously bitch about not getting the best hotel room?” Zane asked, narrowing his eyes in disgust at Steven and Rusty.
Rusty looked sheepish while Steven looked indignant.
“Yeah, we do. We sometimes bitch about you behind your back, but it’s only because you’ve turned into a thoughtless prick who doesn’t give a shit about anyone else.
Oh, except Claudia, but that’s only because you not only have to be the center of attention, you need to be a goddamn hero on top of that.
Rescuing her from her shitty boyfriend.” Steven threw his hands up into the air.
“Well, guess what? She doesn’t need rescuing!
She chose to be with him. For whatever dumb reason, she’s into being treated like garbage.
Not your problem, dude. And if you were smart, you’d stay the hell out of it because you’re risking all our futures—and your marriage, in case you haven’t noticed—by getting involved. ”
Zane had never wanted to hit Steven before. Not once in all their years of working and playing together. But he certainly wanted to hit him now. Right in his loud mouth.
Rusty could obviously see it on his face, because he held up both hands.
“That’s enough. Steve, seriously. Let’s all calm the hell down.
We’re saying shit that we can’t take back.
Zane’s right—Mike needs to get some help.
Kitty’s right. We should probably all clean up our acts for a while.
And Zane, Steven’s right about Claudia. She has to go.
There’s no way she can stay without the band imploding. ”
“Well, that’s great,” Zane answered. “We’re going to fire an innocent woman because her abusive boyfriend’s feelings got hurt. I don’t need to be a hero, but I sure as shit don’t want to be a goddamn villain.”
“No one has to know the truth,” Dean said. “We say she got another opportunity, and we wish her the best. In fact, I can easily find another band that’ll take her. Or I can help her go solo.”
The last thing Zane wanted was for her to go solo.
He needed Claudia. He wanted her next to him every night when he got on stage.
Not only for her songs, but because before she got there, the pure joy that had flowed so easily between Zane and the crowd wasn’t there anymore.
It stopped just short of the stage. It was as if all the energy he once shared with the audience was some sort of elusive, mythical creature that used to trot up to him willingly and stay until the encore was over but had started hiding from him.
Zane could still see the joy on the faces of the people dancing and singing along in the front few rows.
He could hear it in the thunderous sounds that filled the stadiums, but it didn’t soak into his cells like it used to.
He couldn’t feel it anymore. Until he heard her sing for the first time.
She had revived his fading creative juices and brought him back to life.
She was his fountain of youth, the secret to his sustained success, and the thought of going on without her terrified him.
He stood up. “Fuck that. We tell Mike he has to get sober or he’s out.
Then we get back to the studio and lay down another album.
If it doesn’t work out, we let her go. But we give it another chance. ”
FIFTEEN HOURS LATER
MIKE
No intervention was necessary. No threats or ultimatums. No one had to tell Mike to get his shit together or his days with The Vows were over. Claudia didn’t have to read out a letter held by shaky hands about how much it hurt to watch him hurt himself.
Instead, Mike, who somehow managed to drive home without incident from the party, polished off two bottles of very expensive red wine, smoked three joints, slept for twelve hours, then called Dean, waking him up at three am. His voice cracked. “I think I need some help.”
“Where are you? Do you need me to come get you?”
Lighting a cigarette, Mike said, “I’m at home. I’m completely sober.” His breath caught in his throat. “Man, this sucks. I figured out what I’ve turned into. I’m the worst of both my parents—an alcoholic with a temper. Only with fame and an ungodly amount of money.”
“Oh man, Mike, you’ve had a bad few days—”
“Come on, it’s worse than that,” he answered, squeezing his eyes shut. “If I keep this up, I’m going to lose everything that matters.”
“So, do you want me to find a clinic for you?”
His stomach turned sour. “Yeah, I guess it’s time to face my demons, right?”
“I’d say so.”
“Fuck.”
“I know of a place in Utah. They always leave a couple of beds open for celebrities. I’ll call right now.”
“I’ll start packing. Before I change my mind,” Mike said. He sighed, hating like hell that this was what his life had become. He couldn’t bear to think about how he’d acted that day. “Hey, you don’t happen to know where Claudia might be, do you? I need to apologize to her.”
“No clue, man,” Dean said. “I’ll call the clinic and then come right over to pick you up, okay?”
“Sounds smart.”
“Maybe write her a note or something.”
“All right.”
“And Mike, you can do this, okay? I know it might not feel like it, but you’re as strong as they come.”
Mike scoffed. “If only that were true.”
CLAUDIA