Chapter Friday, March 21, 1997
SIENNA
Sienna stood in the doorway to Parker’s room, the list in her hand.
Her son, who was thoroughly engrossed in whatever was happening on his Game Boy, was unaware she was there.
She glanced around his messy bedroom—it was a navy cocoon, with fluorescent stars scattered across the ceiling that glowed when the room was dark.
It had taken her an entire day to put them up when he was five and wanted a space-themed bedroom.
By the time she stuck the last one to the textured ceiling, her neck and shoulders ached horribly, but the look of wonder on his face that night when they actually did light up at bedtime made the job worth doing.
Ten years later, the stars were still there, and the walls were still covered with cartoon space decals.
The room was too young for him now, but whenever she suggested they change it up, he refused. “It wouldn’t be my bedroom anymore.”
He was snuggled into the oversized burgundy beanbag chair, his head tilted down at the small screen, thumbs twitching, while his feet tapped on the grey carpet under them. Sienna hated to disturb him, not when he was content and she would upset him. But she had no choice.
She glanced at the list again. She’d made one for each of the kids (although Ivy didn’t need it anymore).
It was one of the only things she’d followed through with in her original quest to raise independent humans—making them pack for themselves.
When they were done, she’d make sure they didn’t miss anything (and Parker most definitely would miss something).
Normally, he didn’t mind the chore because it meant they were going somewhere fun.
But this time, she was certain he wouldn’t want to go.
The job had to be done now because they had to leave for the airport by eight the next morning for the flight to Vegas.
Zane wanted her to pull the kids out of school and go on Thursday evening and spend Friday together as a family.
But Sienna declined, citing the fact that it was Ivy’s last year of high school and she shouldn’t miss any class time, not if she wanted to get accepted to her college of choice (Princeton).
The truth was, Sienna knew what would happen if they were all there together.
Zane would be incredibly charming and attentive as he’d take them around to see all the best things that children could see in Vegas.
He’d get them tickets to David Copperfield (and of course they’d go backstage after to meet him and he’d probably reveal at least one secret for them only).
The kids would be thrilled to have their parents together again, and Zane would be that perfect version of himself that she couldn’t resist. And she wouldn’t resist him.
And before she knew it, he’d be moved back in even though nothing had been solved.
She still wouldn’t be able to trust him.
So, she did the smart thing and told him they’d show up in Vegas a few hours before the concert.
“Hey, Parker, can you pause the game?”
Without looking up, he said, “It’s Mortal Kombat. You can’t pause it.”
“All right, well when the match is over, I need to speak with you.”
“Match,” he muttered with a little chuckle.
She set the list on his black dresser and got to work picking up the clothes that were strewn across the floor. “What’s it called then, if it’s not a match?”
“A round.”
“Ah, okay,” she answered, picking up a T-shirt that was damp for reasons she did not want to investigate.
By the time the room looked slightly more orderly, Parker said, “What’s up?”
“You remember we’re going to Las Vegas tomorrow morning, right?”
“Yup. You want me to pack, right?”
She smiled at him. “Your list is on the dresser.”
“Okay,” he said with a shrug. He turned his attention back to the small screen in front of him. “I’ll do it after this game. I want to see if I can top my score.”
Sienna, who had several arguments ready at her disposal (it’s for Uncle Mike, who loved you kids very much, it’ll be fun, it’ll be a once-in-a-lifetime event that people will talk about for decades, and you’ll be able to say you were right backstage), closed her mouth. Then said, “You’re … okay with going?”
Without taking his eyes off the screen, he said, “I want to meet my baby brother.”
Her heart dropped. “Oh, honey, you can’t think of him that way. It’ll only upset you.”
“Why not? It’s the truth. He’s my brother,” he answered, lifting the Game Boy closer to his face. “The girls saw pictures of him and said he looks exactly like me at that age.”
Her stomach tightened. “Well, that may be the case, but it’s best if we all think of him as Uncle Mike’s son. That’s how the world will know him, and it’ll be easier for us all that way.”
“But it’s a lie,” he said, his hands jerking, his thumbs moving at a furious pace. “I can’t lie to myself because I already know the truth.”
“Well, I get that, but—”
Poppy chose that moment to interrupt. Standing in the doorway, she said, “Mom, I need to talk to you.”
“Get out of my room, pipsqueak.”
“I’m not in your room, you dumb-dumb.”
“That’s enough, both of you,” Sienna said. “No name calling. She’s not in your room, Parker.”
He glanced up. “Her head is in my room.”
“But my feet are still in the hallway, and that’s what counts!” Poppy answered.
Turning to Poppy, Sienna said, “Give me a minute and I’ll come find you in your bedroom.”
“It’s really important. I need to talk to you now.”
Sienna pursed her lips. “Is the house on fire?”
Her little girl shook her head.
“Then I’ll see you in a couple of minutes. Get going, young lady.”
Poppy sighed dramatically before turning and stalking away with loud, thumping steps.
Sienna cleared her throat to get her son’s attention. “I know it’s an awfully hard thing we’re asking of you, Parker. But sometimes in life we have to do awfully hard things and there really is no other way. This is one of those times.”
He tossed the device onto the carpet, then stared at his mom.
“You know, Mom, you can make me lie to everyone else, including Grandma, who would die if she found out we were keeping her grandchild from her. But you can’t control what I know.
And I’ll never stop knowing that he’s my little brother because that’s what he is. ”
“Half-brother.”
“Does it matter?”
“Obviously it matters a great deal,” she snapped. “If he was your full brother, he’d be living here because he’d be mine too!”
“Just because he’s not yours doesn’t mean he’s not Dad’s. Or mine.”
“Parker, I am trying to save our family!”
“Really? Because it kind of feels like you’re trying to stop yourself from being humiliated.”
Sienna turned her face up toward the ceiling and scrunched her eyes shut.
Opening them, she said, “Look, we’ve already explained it to you.
It would hurt you kids, and the band, which means hurting Uncle Russ, and Uncle Steven, and Uncle Dean too.
They didn’t do anything wrong. And neither did I.
” She softened her voice. “And neither did you. Please don’t make your life harder than it has to be. Life’s hard enough as it is.”
“You don’t think Elliott deserves to know he’s got a brother and two sisters?”
“Sometimes we have to choose between two bad things because there isn’t a good choice available. You’ll understand it when you’re an adult.”
“I doubt that very much.”
She blinked a few times, ordering herself to calm down. “Pack your things. I’ll be back in an hour to check that you’ve got everything.”
Sienna spun on her heel and walked out into the hallway, only to find Poppy standing there. She started, then said, “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in your room.”
“You took too long, so I thought maybe you forgot about me.”
Placing her hand on the top of her daughter’s head, she gently turned Poppy toward her bedroom. “I didn’t forget about you.”
“Sometimes you get busy and forget.”
“Well, I didn’t,” Sienna said. As they walked into her daughter’s princess-themed room, Sienna felt a flash of anger toward Zane, who only needed to pack for himself without any interruptions, urgent matters, or complicated moral debates.
“What’s so important? I have about a thousand things to do before bed. ”
Poppy closed the door to her bedroom and gestured for her mom to sit down.
It was all very grown-up, like she was a tiny principal about to give Sienna some bad news about her grades.
You’re failing Parenting 101 this semester.
You’ve put in a lackluster effort at best, and you’ve made terrible decisions that will haunt your family forever.
Sienna sat down on the four-poster bed and summoned every last ounce of patience she had (and there weren’t many in the bottle). “Okay? What’s going on?”
“What if I know someone is going to do something really bad, but if I tell, I’ll get in lots of trouble because I’m not supposed to know?”
Sienna’s heart sped up. “How bad?”
Poppy stood in front of her mom, her blue eyes wide. “Like, super-duper bad.”
“Why would you be in trouble for—oh, God, Poppy, did you read Ivy’s diary again?”
She cast her gaze to the floor and nodded.
Sienna let out a quiet growl. “Why would you do that?”
She shrugged her shoulder. “I don’t know.” Poppy looked back up at her, her expression sheepish. “It’s just that … nothing I read is nearly as exciting as Ivy’s diary.”
“That doesn’t make it okay!”
“I know! I promise I won’t do it again. But, I really really need to tell you what was in it!”
“Will Ivy get hurt or die?”
“No.”
Standing up, Sienna said, “Then I don’t want to hear it. Now, I need to pack, and so do you.”
“But Mommy! This is serious!”
“Ivy is almost a grown woman, and I’ve taught her to make good choices.”
“You won’t like this one.”
“She’s not going to do whatever it is anyway!
” Sienna answered firmly, even though she had no way of knowing what ‘it’ was.
“Diaries are a place to write about things you’ll never do!
So, whatever it is, it won’t happen, and if I confront her about it right now, she’ll be furious with you and the whole trip will be ruined. ”
“But—”
“But nothing, Poppy. Leave it alone. Or you’ll be in big trouble.
” With that, Sienna stormed out of the room, hoping that her reaction would prevent future similar events.
Once she was safely inside her own bedroom, she shut the door and groaned.
“Damn you, Zane,” she muttered, picturing him with his feet up watching TV at that moment while she juggled the children alone.
Maybe she should take him back, even if it’s only for evenings like these.
LAS VEGAS, NEVADA
CLAUDIA
Claudia leaned against the headboard in her room at the Stardust Hotel. She should’ve been asleep hours ago, but she was too wired to bother trying, and now she was too upset.
Amélie had cheerfully bid her adieu before heading out to meet some friends on the Strip for a couple of drinks and some dancing.
Claudia had been happy to let the young woman go.
After all, she remembered being twenty-one, and longing for the endless possibilities a nightclub afforded a young woman.
Besides, Amélie had been nothing if not reliable and responsible.
She’d probably be back at a respectable hour so she could watch Elliott while Claudia prepared for the show.
After the nanny left, Claudia dug around in her suitcase for Angela’s book of poems. She crawled under the covers and opened it for the first time.
A strange thing happened as she read each of the poems. It was the same phenomenon as when you read an Emily Dickinson poem, only instead of hearing the tune of ‘The Yellow Rose of Texas,’ she distinctly heard ‘Faded Denim.’
And now, as she closed the book, her body was heavy, and her heart felt as if it was shrinking.
There was no doubting it anymore. Jay was right about Zane.
He used his first wife the same way he used her.
She felt betrayed and hurt and furious. He’d used her for her talent.
Used her for her body. Then threw her away when things got messy.