Chapter 44
DIANA
Evidence of Jonathan and Gregory’s crimes lay out in front of me.
“These IP addresses belong to the scumbags Jonathan turns to when he needs some dirty work done. It’s all proven. Once you show these papers to your dad and get that whistleblower to talk, you’re cleared.”
Stella glows with a pride that I wish I could feel, too. But all that swells in my heart is a strange, heavy dread I can’t ignore.
Once I expose Jonathan and Gregory, I’ll be back in the spotlight, and everything will go back to what it was.
Except this time, there’ll be a void where Kai used to be.
How do we go back to being strangers when I’ve spent almost every morning being woken up by his texts, hearing him laugh from the passenger seat in his car, and having him all to myself when the stress gets too much?
Stella angles her head. Her tone softens at my hesitation. “Do you still want to go forward with this?”
“I have to.” I gulp. “If I don’t, I won’t be able to do anything. Either I get back to my duties at the HMG or suffer the consequences of trying to get out of them.”
Sophia’s scar glints in my mind and bàba’s warning comes creeping in.
If you ever want to leave this company, you won’t do it so easily. Not without struggle, not without pain.
Stella narrows her eyes. “Why do you want to take over the HMG?”
“It’s my duty,” I stress. “My father built this to give Asians a place in mainstream media and I have to uphold our place.”
“That’s the reason why your father wants you to take over the HMG,” Stella presses. “I’m asking about you. Why do you want to take it over?”
“Well, I—” The words come up empty. I try to rack my head for any shred of reason that binds me to this goal I’ve been working towards my whole life.
Then I realize there’s absolutely no reason.
All the learning and planning have always been done with my eyes turned towards my father, hungering for his approval.
A weight lifts off me. But a chill takes its place and that’s when I feel how hollow I become when I separate bàba’s ambitions from my own.
“Oh my god.” I scramble onto my feet. My steps stumble. My body teeters side to side.
“Diana?” Stella trails after me in concern. “Are you okay—”
“I don’t have any ambitions that are my own,” I gasp. My fingers tremble through my hair. “I-I know what I like doing. I like leading a-and reporting. But I don’t know if I actually like doing those things or if it’s because my father told me I should!”
“You’ll figure it out!” Stella encourages.
I shake my head. I can feel my breath growing tighter in my chest. “There’s so many options out there, but at the same time, there’s no options at all.”
Stella winces. “Well, actually—”
“—What if I make the wrong choice?”
“Okay, Diana, slow down—”
“—I’m in my fourth year and I’m graduating in June, and I have no idea what I actually want to do with my life!”
I pace back and forth, spiraling at the thought of leaving the pampered, protected walls of academia to get tossed into this giant world with no definite plan of my own, no defined rules on what needs to be done and when.
I don’t know which pieces of myself belong to me, to bàba, or if there’s even pieces of myself to begin with, since I never truly had a chance to decide what I wanted those pieces to be.
“Diana, Diana.” Stella braces me still. Her hands on my arms are strong and steady, yet she’s nothing but gentle with me. “Let’s take a deep breath, okay? If you want, I have smelling salts for emotional breakdowns.”
I let out a small, broken laugh. Stella’s lips quirk up in a faint smile but drop back into a frown when I slump down on the couch nearby.
Stella curls up by my feet. Regret flashes on her face as she grips my hands. “I am so sorry, Diana. We were meant to take down your siblings, but I accidentally propelled you into a quarter-life crisis!”
“No, it’s alright.” I sniffle and lightly dab at my nose. “I was probably bound to have it sometime.”
Stella suddenly perks up. “What if you worked on taking over the HMG and changing the way it runs? No more lies or stupid competitions. Maybe that’s your purpose.”
I mull it over. A small glimmer of hope ignites in my chest. I’ve always thought about how I’d further the HMG’s business plans, but I’ve never really considered uprooting bàba’s ethics and practices altogether to build an entirely new way of conducting business.
Maybe I can change that.
I look over at the folder of evidence lying on the table. I approach it with a single motive fueled by the night before. “If I’m going to change the HMG, I need to start from the ground up. I want to leave my sister Sophia out of this.”
Stella’s brows furrow as she stands and cups her hips. “Didn’t she help you get into this mess?”
“I know she did.” I scowl at all the underground forces listed on the documents.
“But she became this way partly because of my father and brothers. I know there’s still good in her.
I want to give her a chance to be the person she wants to be, and it’s not going to happen if I cut her down with my brothers. ”
“Well, I mean…” Stella shrugs as she glances down at the evidence. “She’s in the clear. She didn’t touch the screenshots at all. Her IP address isn’t on here.”
“No, but there’s likely conversations between her and my brothers on DXMessenger that show she was a part of their plan. Do you know any way you can erase the data?”
Stella hums in thought. She drums her fingers against the table. “Well, I can, especially if you’re under a family plan. It’ll take a few hours for the data to be wiped out on all sides, though, and I’d need her phone to do it.”
I sigh and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I can’t just waltz back into her life after the argument we had. There has to be another way to get her phone.”
“Can’t you tell her about your plans to help her?”
“She’s walking on fragile ground with my brothers.” I frown. “She won’t do anything drastic like this, especially with Jonathan's offer to secure her future. This plan will have to stay between us.”
Suddenly, my phone rings.
Kai’s name flashes across the screen. The rational part of me says I should call him back. But the part of me that aches for his calm, gentle voice draws me to answer the call.
Stella waves her hand. “You can take that. I’m going to order some takeout.”
When she shuts the door behind her, I quickly answer the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, princess.” A soft, relieved smile falls upon my lips as I hear Kai’s voice. “How’s your day going?”
I slouch against the table. So much has happened today that I don’t even know how to answer that question.
I scratch my brow. “Well, CatchCo’s CEO just got back to me today and now we have the evidence we need to clear my name.”
“That’s amazing, Di! I told you it’d all work out!” Kai laughs. The sound eases the knots in my stomach. I shut my eyes, wishing I could hold it close and hear it forever.
I’m about to vent about the day I’ve had before I’m cut off by the sound of Kai’s bedroom door whipping open.
“Bro, bro!” Luke’s voice bursts through the speaker. “You can’t go to the Halloween party with Diana!”
“What? Why?”
“Wallace is at the student council office, and he just saw Sophia’s name on the Eventbrite list!”
“Fils de pute,” Kai curses.
“Wait, wait.” My heart races fast with hope. “Sophia is going to the DHU Halloween party?”
That’s our chance to get her phone.
“I need to be at that party,” I scramble out. “I’ll tell you why in an hour. Can I come over?”