Chapter 57
DIANA
My conversation with Sophia leaves me drained and disoriented when my siblings and I gather in bàba’s office.
āgōng and bàba regard me with so much pride glinting on their faces.
Bàba chuckles, shaking his head incredulously as he waggles his finger at me.
“I almost gave up on you, darling. All your sniffling and silence. The way you made us think you were off embarrassing yourself.” He sighs.
“Little did I know, you were playing a role to keep your brothers from thinking you had another fight in you.”
“And that’s when you struck hard,” āgōng rejoices.
“With a mind like that, there’s no doubt you’ll see your name carved onto that blade in five months’ time,” Bàba praises.
That was the plan. I was playing a role. And it worked. But no relief calms the apprehension twisting my gut.
I force a smile onto my face. “Thank you.”
āgōng’s pride rots into a disgusted glare that makes Gregory and Jonathan go rigid in their seats.
“As for you two,” he snarls. “How useless do you have to be to stoop to such lows to get what you want?”
Rage lashes Jonathan’s face. His fingers curl over the armrest. “This is nothing that bàba hasn’t done,” he seethes.
“My opponents were men. I had to do whatever I could to take them down even if it meant getting personal,” Bàba snaps. “You were competing against your sister. The world was built to uplift you, yet you still failed to outrival a woman’s accomplishments.”
“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have designated one CEO position if you wanted all of us to have a shot at winning,” Gregory spats.
It only takes two strides before bàba’s hand slaps Gregory’s face.
My brother shoots to his feet. Bàba grips his collar until he pales.
Panic thrums through bàba as his eyes dart between Gregory and Jonathan.
It’s a brief, but evident sign of a man who knows his control is slipping and he’ll do anything to get it back.
“Disrespect me again, Huang Da-Wen, and I’ll have you hobbling onto the streets with nothing,” bàba growls.
“What’s the point?” Gregory hisses, “The board will never consider Jonathan and me for CEO now. You only have your sweet, precious daughters to take over the company for you.”
“I made you,” bàba fires back. “I gave you everything! And now you toss it all aside as if it’s nothing?”
“We shouldn’t be the only ones being punished,” Jonathan protests. His gaze cuts to Sophia, fuming with a rage that has her shrinking back. “You had just as much to do with this! You were the one who hid the evidence in Diana’s drawer!”
Sophia struggles to get her words out. “I-I—”
“Don’t you dare play stupid!” Jonathan shouts, “we all know you’re a manipulative little bitch!”
“Quiet,” āgōng commands.
The room goes silent. All I can hear is my thundering heartbeat and the ticking mantel clock.
āgōng turns to Sophia. “How is it that your brothers got their hands dirty with this and you’re the only one who came out clean?”
Sophia gulps. Her options weigh before her. If she tells the truth, she endures the wrath of bàba and āgōng. If she lies, she endures the wrath of Jonathan and Gregory.
This is a fight you can’t help me win.
Sophia recomposes herself and audaciously stares back at āgōng. “The most important question you should be asking is how you can keep Gregory and Jonathan in the running by placing them in second-tier positions in the company.”
Bàba cocks his head. “What are you saying?”
“The board of directors values competence at the end of the day,” Sophia says.
“We have precisely two vacancies in the managing editors position. Having Jonathan and Gregory take over can make a statement about their abilities. Even though they were tarnishing Diana’s reputation, they still got a considerable amount of work done for the joint project.
Letting Jonathan and Gregory take over as managing editors gives them a chance to prove to the board that they still have what it takes to lead the HMG. ”
Bàba scoffs. “And who’s going to give these petty boys a vote of confidence after what they did?”
“Absolutely no one,” Sophia shrugs. “But give the board enough reasons to keep them? Confidence can be restored.”
āgōng and bàba consider Sophia’s words. She pretends to look unbothered, yet I can see her picking at her nails beneath the table.
Bàba sighs and casts her a begrudging look. “For once, the words coming out of your mouth are actually worth listening to.”
Sophia falters. She keeps her head down as surprise flickers across the boys’ faces. Their urge to come after her dies fast.
“You’re all dismissed.” Bàba waves his hand at the door. “Take āgōng back to his room.”
Gregory, Jonathan, and Sophia gather around āgōng as they escort him out of the study. I quietly follow behind them until the memory of that disturbing comment makes me stop.
“What did you mean when you said you knew I always had it in me?”
Bàba glances up from his papers. He grins, all of him perking up in glee. “You’re remarkably resilient. You always have been no matter what challenges come your way. That’s why you’re my greatest pride.”
Shock pierces the denial I’ve been hiding under.
“So, you knew,” I push out. “Before I exposed the truth, there was some part of you that suspected I had nothing to do with outing Gregory’s relationship?”
“Of course I did,” Bàba snorts. “You’re smart and gifted enough to get ahead without rousing up some petty scandal.”
He was testing me this whole time.
Bàba has done it before, but it’s never been on this scale. His tests are always a brief probe into our endurance and our skill. This, however? I was publicly disgraced and torn apart over something I didn’t even do.
“Then why did you put me through all of this if you knew I had nothing to do with it?” My voice cracks, as I struggle to keep my breath steady. “You could have believed me.”
Bàba drops his papers down and arches his brow. “And then what? Hm? Gregory and Jonathan would’ve been punished. You would’ve continued right as rain. What would that have served you?”
I flinch as he bangs his fist against the table.
“Look at you now! You clawed your way back up, using everything you had to take down those who tried to usurp you. You’ve become stronger than you know.”
“Through being your experiment.”
For so long, winning bàba’s pride and his approval felt rewarding. Now, after seeing what he does to those he’s proud of, I’ve never been more terrified of winning his respect.
My words provoke that vicious, despotic side of him that makes him rise to his feet.
“These tests are important for molding who we are, Diana. Do you know what they used to think of people like us before the HMG started? They thought we were beneath them!” Bàba thunders.
“I helped build this company to prove to the others that we are just as good, perhaps even better because we can withstand anything!”
I swallow hard, fighting to keep the tremor out of my voice.
“I know you want to be seen and respected, bàba. But this…” I shake my head. “This isn’t the way.”
“And you know the way?” Fury warps every inch of his face. “After everything, you’re still bold enough to challenge me?”
“No, I swear!”
“Don’t forget I made you, Diana! Every single piece that people applaud and admire was shaped by me.
Those awards lining your walls were because of me and what I’ve taught you.
You are sitting in the graduating class in one of the most esteemed universities in the country because of me.
You would be nothing without what I’ve given you! ”
My hand flexes in my lap, reaching for a coin that isn’t there. I just need something—anything—to hold onto that’s sturdier and stronger than what I feel inside.
“I-I’m…I’m sorry, bàba,” I whisper. “I won’t talk back to you again.”
Bàba recomposes himself. I try to stay still as he rounds the desk and approaches me, his shadow drowning out the light. My fingers dig into my dress. I steel myself for the impact, the blinding sting of his hand.
He kisses the top of my head.
I carefully unwind as bàba’s hands wrap around my face.
“No one accepts their mistakes better than you do. You’re my brilliant daughter and I’m proud of you.”
My breath unhitches. Relief unravels inside of me when bàba smiles and pats my cheek.
My head is dizzy with nausea as I numbly trudge towards the foyer to take my coat.
Māma hurries behind me. Her voice echoes across the marble floors. “You’re leaving already?”
I don’t bother turning around. “I have a long day tomorrow.”
The maids help me into my coat. The wool slumps over me, weighing heavier than it did before.
“Well, all the more reason you should stay here,” Māma insists. “Now that the scandal is resolved, you can spend more time with your family.”
I scowl.
Duty and expectation above all else is what māma always stood for and she does it well. I bet that’s why bàba chose her as his bride.
I button my coat before I glance at her. “Did you know bàba was testing me this entire time?”
Māma’s face fades into neutrality as it always does when we ask her about bàba and his ways.
“Your father has his duties, and I have mine.”
The tears I’ve been holding back well in my eyes.
Māma notices, yet she doesn’t say a word.
She stays poised and nonchalant like she has been my entire childhood.
I feel like a little girl all over again, just begging her mother to fight for her just once.
But I know that day will never come because she doesn’t exist for anyone except bàba.
I turn my head to hide the tears streaming down my face before I leave the mansion to wait for Hans at the front doors.
I slump against the wall, shivering under the biting night air that sinks into my bones.
My hand reaches for Kai’s coin in my pocket.
Imagining his gentle hands and deep, assuring voice breathes warmth into my bones.
It’s gonna take you a while to realize that you have what it takes to cut the strings and become something that you’re proud of without your dad’s approval.
But I don’t have what it takes to cut the strings.
Bàba is right. Everything that’s made me what I am—from the style I use to tell my stories, to the kind of sources I track down, even the way I climbed back into my place on the succession plan—is based on what he’s taught me.
There’s no Diana Huang without Edward Huang, and there’s no life I can picture without his control killing my hopes.
Terror grips me until I can’t breathe. My knees give out before I collapse on the stairs, crying.
Kai’s coin flashes through the blur.
If bàba ever finds out about us…
I squeeze the coin tight, holding it close to my heart.
If bàba is so willing to break apart his own daughter to reinforce his power and his pride, there’s no telling what he’d do to someone as meaningless to him as Kai.