ELEVEN
EMMA
What a stupid idea. So much for peace and quiet.
For a few days, my hormones have been sending me on one emotional rollercoaster ride after the next—for six days, to be exact. Six days ago, I spent a pleasant evening at O’Reilly’s, listening to great music and talking to nice people.
Or rather, to one person. I still can’t grasp how differently Jack behaved—again. Does he have a split personality or an evil twin?
Unfortunately, I developed this tiny but tenacious crush on him—on the lovely, charming, sweet, and gorgeous Jack from Friday night, that is. I can’t stop daydreaming about seeing him again—at least until I remember that I’m pregnant, because that fact sure should be reason enough for Jack to lose all interest in me. And that realization resulted in a cry fest three times over the past week.
Stupid hormones. I should be glad I didn’t have a problem with morning sickness, but on top of the emotional chaos concerning Jack, I’m dealing with a lot of pent-up sexual frustration all of a sudden. So I’m not too happy most of the time, which my colleagues have already picked up on. I’m the bitchy one, and everyone steers clear of me. Of course, none of them are aware of the reason for my moodiness, and they suspect it’s that time of the month.
I wish .
Fortunately, today’s shift is almost over. I can’t wait to return to my couch and have some Ben I would have smelled that. Something stronger. I look for Abby or anyone else, but they’re all busy.
After getting information on why he’s here—and it’s a struggle to understand him due to his slurred speech—I lead him into an exam room with just an examination table. No cabinets filled with meds or needles or whatever he’s looking for. Next, I’ll call security.
“Sit down, please,” I tell him. “A doctor will be right with you.” I close the door behind me, and after calling security and telling them about the guy who’s probably looking for his next fix, I search for Dr. Harrison, the doctor in charge this afternoon. But when I walk past the exam room, a loud thud echoes from inside, as if something big fell on the floor, and I open the door—against my better judgment. But I have to check on the guy, and he, indeed, lies flat on his face.
I rush to his side. “Sir, are you all right?” I help him up, and he stares at me with wide eyes, and what I see in them makes me regret my decision. With a force I never expected him to have, he lunges at me and presses me against the closest wall .
“Where is all your stuff? I need painkillers. The strong ones,” he grunts.
Grimacing, I turn my head. His breath smells like cheap liquor and cigarettes. A wave of nausea surges through me, and I hardly dare to breathe. “Sir, there’s nothing here. Security will arrive any minute, so you better let go of me.”
“No, bitch! You’re gonna get me something. Now!” His ice-cold voice makes the blood freeze in my veins. My heart thumps, and my lungs struggle to fill with air. Just a couple more minutes, then help will be here, I tell myself repeatedly while he stares at me.
He grabs my shoulders and bangs me against the wall. “Did you hear me? I need something right now.”
“No, I can’t—”
He doesn’t let me finish my sentence, and I watch with horror as he lifts his fist and punches me in the face, hitting my cheek with a powerful force. I cry out in pain as his fist comes flying again, this time beating my stomach.
My knees give in, and he lets go of me as I sink to the floor. Silent tears stream down my face, and I want to sob, but no air is left in my lungs. I curl into a ball, holding my stomach. I prepare myself for more punches, but before he can hurt me further, heavy footsteps approach, and screaming erupts.
I barely notice a soft touch on my shoulder. “Emma! Emma, look at me. Are you hurt?”
My eyes fly open, and I meet Abby’s worried gaze. I can’t talk. Damn, I can hardly nod. In my peripheral vision, I watch how the two security guys overpower my aggressor, but then Abby has my attention again. “Come on. Can you get up? Dr. Harrison is on his way. ”
“No! Please, call Robert!”
“Um, okay.” She frowns but calls him with no further questions.
I’m stuck in a damn blurry haze. I don’t know how much time passes until Rob rushes to my side and takes me to the maternity ward, and Susan arrives shortly after to examine me. They are still the only ones that are aware of my pregnancy. Rob keeps asking me questions I’m not able to answer. A state of shock still has me paralyzed, and I’m still struggling to process what happened. I lie on the exam table, rolled onto my side with my knees pulled up and my hands on my stomach. I’m not in much pain, except for my face, which hurts like shit. But my thoughts only revolve around the baby. Without even realizing it, I’ve gone from “I’m pregnant” to “I’m having a baby,” as if something clicked into place. A tiny human being is growing inside of me, and I’m responsible for it. My only concern right now is if it’s okay, and I’ve never been more worried in my entire life.
Susan performs an ultrasound and a physical examination while Rob waits outside. I keep my eyes closed the whole time, trying to breathe calmly and not freak out. When Susan finally says that the baby is fine and that nothing seems off, that terrible worry lifts off my shoulders. I breathe a sigh of relief, and when Rob re-enters the room, he wraps his arms around me, and I gratefully accept his hug and cling to him, holding on tight, and I let the tears fall.
Tears of relief.
The blurry haze lifts, but everything from this point happens in a heavy silence. Rob helps me grab my things before taking me to his place. I agree without resistance when he says I should stay the night. I don’t want to be alone. He orders food while I shower and slip into the clothes he laid out for me—comfortable sweats and a T-shirt. I eat even though I’m not hungry, and afterward, we sink into his couch. He drapes his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into his side, and I lean into him with a sigh.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks the unspoken question that’s probably been on the tip of his tongue all night. His voice is soft and full of concern. “How are you?”
I shrug. I’m not sure how I am. Confused describes it best. “I’m okay, mostly. It’s tough to organize my thoughts.” I fidget left and right. “I was so miserable when I found out I was pregnant.” I straighten up and face Rob. “It seemed like an unmanageable task. All I could think about was how I was never gonna cope. But when that guy hit me … I was worried I lost the baby.” I rub my forehead with another deep sigh. With closed eyes, I continue, “That was the first time I ever thought about it. About the baby—this tiny living creature. That was the first time my mind wasn’t selfishly occupied with my problems and worries.” I open my eyes and meet Rob’s gaze. With a soft smile, he grasps my hand and wills me to go on.
“I didn’t care about what happened to me,” I say. “I was devastated and filled with regret that I didn’t care sooner. The time I spent waiting for Susan—waiting for her to confirm everything was all right—those were the most horrible moments of my life.”
“You’re okay now.” He squeezes my hand, and his soft tone washes over me, comforting me. “I told you that you’d get to this point. This is how a parent feels. They worry about their kid’s well-being more than their own.”
I wrinkle my nose. “You were right. It did take me a little, but now I’m more optimistic about this pregnancy for the first time.” I lean back and place my hand on my belly, and an unfamiliar sensation rushes through me. “Damn, I’m going to have a baby. Do you think I’ll be a decent mom?”
“You’ll be an awesome mom.” He displays his widest smile, lifting the last bit of my heavy burden. I return his smile with a hopeful one.
“When’s your next shift?” Rob asks, and my smile falters.
“Tomorrow night.” I shudder. I’m not sure if I want to go back there.
“Why don’t you take a couple of days off? You should rest.”
“I don’t know.” I rub my forehead, figuring out how I feel about this.
“Come on; doctor’s orders. You’ll stay home over the weekend.”
I bite the inside of my cheek and nod. “I can’t skip Sunday night, though. I promised Abby I’d take over her shift.”
“Okay.” Rob sighs, piercing me with his gaze. “But until then, you’re going to rest. Understood? ”
And for the first time since the incident, I chuckle. “Yes, sir.”
“Good. You want to watch a movie?”
And that’s what we do. I want to take my mind off today’s events, but it’s hard. Halfway through the movie, Rob must have realized I’m not paying attention to the plot. He pauses the movie and shifts in his seat. “Em, I was thinking … Why don’t you ask for a transfer?”
I touch the base of my neck. “A transfer?”
“Come work on the maternity ward. Yes, you’re understaffed at the ER, but we are too. After this incident, no one would blame you if you didn’t want to work there anymore. At least for a while.”
I sit up from my leaning position against his shoulder. “I don’t know.”
He holds up his hand. “We could create a regular working schedule,” he says, “so you don’t have to do twelve-hour shifts anymore. It’ll get harder to work at the ER anyway as the pregnancy progresses.”
I study him while I let his words sink in. I blow out my cheeks and say, “Okay. I’ll think about it.”
He grins at me. “Thanks.”
“Of course,” I tell him with a subtle smile. That’s why I love having him as a close friend—no, best friend. He always makes me feel better when I’m down.
Rob pulls me back into his side before turning the movie back on. I rest my head on his chest and enjoy his soothing warmth. But out of nowhere, a notion pops into my head. I wish someone else was beside me, pulling me into his side. And just like that, Jack is back on my mind .
My thoughts stray, and I wonder again. I wish I understood what was going on with him and his issues. I wish I knew how he feels about me. One day, he’s being an ass, and the next, he does this incredibly sensual thing. When he touched me to fix the stupid strap of my top, I couldn’t believe what was happening. I couldn’t grasp what his touch did to me. I still remember how my heart raced and how the butterflies in my stomach acted all crazy, making me tingle all over. I wish for more of that, more of his fingers stroking my burning skin. But it’ll probably never happen, so I should stop daydreaming about it.
All this mulling exhausts me. At some point, I can’t keep my eyes open anymore, and I fall asleep in my friend’s comforting presence.