TWENTY-NINE
EMMA
“Damn, the heat is bugging the shit out of me.” Liv groans as we sit down on a bench at the playground.
“Yeah, I hate summer as of now.” I slip out of my sandals and wiggle my toes. “Look at that. My feet are getting bigger and bigger.”
It’s the middle of August, and this summer is turning out to be one of the hottest ever. I only have a little over two months to go, and because of the heat, I’m having trouble with water retention and high blood pressure.
“Ugh, yes. Mine too.” Liv inspects her feet with a weary sigh. She’s been just as distressed as me—her due date is only three weeks after mine. We met up today to whine about how miserable we are, and while we catch up, Lucy plays with her friends so we can lament in peace.
“At least,” Liv says, “I get a massage from Ethan every night. I hope my brother does the same for you?”
I chuckle. Oh yes, Jack has been nothing but great, doing everything in his might to make me feel better whenever he can. He’s with me every step of the way.
“He’s handling my mood swings really well,” I say. “He usually knows what I need when I don’t even know.”
“Ugh, that’s the worst—when something annoys you and you can’t figure out what.”
“Exactly. ”
“Talking about annoying—how are things with your mom?”
I lean back with an exaggerated sigh. “It’s giving me headaches. She’s still disappointed I didn’t follow the traditional rules. Marriage first, then pregnancy.” I flick my gaze upwards. It’s been two months since my parents showed up for a surprise visit, and my mom and I have been doing a lot of talking, but she still loses no opportunity to voice her chagrin. “At least she hasn’t cut me out of her will yet,” I say. “Gosh, I wish she were more like your mom.”
Liv cackles. “She can be a pain in the ass too.”
I tilt my head and narrow my eyes at her. “She’s been nothing but nice to me. Your entire family welcomed me with open arms.”
“Because you’re with Jack,” Liv says. “Especially Mom loves you for that. She’s over the moon that he found a sweet girl who makes him happy.”
My lips stretch into a smile. Meeting Jack’s family was quite the spectacle. He was adamant that we tell them the truth about the baby, and I was worried they wouldn’t accept me and the peanut. But nothing of the sort happened. Jack had hardly spoken the words—reassuring them he would treat the baby as his—when his mother declared she would love this grandchild like her own.
His family’s reaction was also why he repeatedly pestered me to come clean with my parents. So I told them the truth about the baby’s father, and while my dad thought even better of Jack when he learned it was someone else’s baby, my mom just said I was lucky to have found a man like him .
She’s right, only that it’s true for entirely different reasons. He’s a great man, and I am a lucky girl, so her talk bothers me less and less.
“Oh wow, what’s that silly grin on your face?” Liv asks. “Please tell me Jack is responsible for your dreamy expression.”
I nod, smiling even wider. Yes, being with Jack is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, and my love for him increases every day.
“Lucy is looking forward to her cousin,” Liv says. “Finally a boy, now that she knows she’s getting a little sister. I love my brother even more for bringing you into our lives. Like my mom, I’m glad he has you. He’s changed so much since you met.”
My eyes widen. “Really?”
“Of course! When I see the two of you together and how affectionate he is with you—I thought he’d never get over his past, but you’ve given him a reason to, and everyone notices.”
“Wow, thanks.” Liv’s words make me indescribably happy. I know how Jack has changed, but knowing that others see the change in him, too, makes this so much better than it already is.
We still have a long road ahead of us, though. After the first moments of pure bliss, life got in the way. Work was crazy, and Jack received news from his dad, who had trouble recovering from minor surgery. He flew to Boston for a few days until his father was better, but it left Jack on edge, and he struggled with physical closeness again. He still can’t bear my touch whenever he’s stressed, and it’s so hard on me. I want to make him feel better, help him get his mind off things, but he won’t let me—he can’t. Not yet, at least. But he lets me know what’s going on with him. No more running off and leaving me in the dark.
So, yeah, he’s changed, but we’re not at the end of that rough road just yet. I don’t mind the bumpy ride, though. As long as Jack is by my side, no obstacles worry me.
With a happy smile, I watch Lucy playing in the sandbox with another girl. A woman stands next to them. She has a baby strapped to her chest in a baby carrier. The girls are giggling happily, and my smile widens. I think about how I will be here this time next year with my son.
But suddenly, my smile falters. I feel sick to the stomach when someone turns up behind them—someone I can only guess is the father and husband. He kisses the woman’s cheek and strokes the baby’s head.
I recognize him immediately. Those eyes and that smile—it’s Dylan, my drunken mistake and the father of my baby.
Cold sweat breaks out on my forehead, and my heart thumbs against my ribs. My insides churn, and I fear I’m going to be sick. No, this can’t be. What the fuck is he doing here? With his family? Are you fucking kidding me? He cheated on his wife with me?
I draw in a slow breath, doing my best to hide my internal crisis from Liv and keeping my fingers crossed she doesn’t ask what’s wrong.
Because something is terribly wrong.
“Oh hey, look,” she says, pointing to Lucy. “Come on. Let’s go say hi.”
Oh no! Liv rises from the bench and grabs my hand to drag me behind her. It’s a miracle I’m able to walk or even keep breathing. While my thoughts are still an awful mess, we join Lucy’s new friend and her parents.
When Dylan’s gaze meets mine, his eyes widen, but only briefly. He successfully hides the fact that we know each other, which makes this all the worse. I lower my gaze and rub my sweaty palms on my clothes.
Breathe, Emma, breathe!
“Lucy’s made a new friend,” Liv says with a cheerful smile.
The woman laughs. “Yes, hi! That’s Natalie.” She points to her daughter. “Hey, I’m Jessica.” She stretches out her hand. “And that’s my husband, Dylan.”
Fortunately, he just nods, and he smiles. That bastard smiles!
“Nice to meet you. I’m Liv. This is my friend Emma. And who’s this little one?” Liv points to the baby in the carrier.
Jessica smiles while Dylan and I stand there, unmoving. “That’s Chloe.”
“Aw, she’s precious! How old is she?” Liv asks.
“Six months.”
Six months? That fucking scumbag cheated on his pregnant wife. I rack my brain for any clue that should have given away what a moron he is. Was he wearing a wedding band? Was I too drunk to notice?
This settles it. Never in a million years would I want someone like him to be the father of my child.
“Mommy, I need to pee!” Natalie says.
“Oh.” Jessica frowns. “Liv, would you happen to know where the closest bathroom is? We’re not from around here. ”
Yeah, I know. You’re from Washington. Or was that a lie as well?
“Of course,” Liv says. “Come on. I’ll show you.” She turns to me. “Will you be fine watching Lucy while I’m gone?”
“Sure.” I watch them leave with an ever-faster beating heart. My hands shake—I’m alone with Dylan. I stare at him, and unsurprisingly, the smile and the friendly expression vanish.
He narrows his eyes at me. “Is that mine?” he says through gritted teeth, pointing to my baby belly.
Wow, cutting right to the chase of the matter. I glare back at him. “No, it’s someone else’s,” I tell him through equally gritted teeth.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. And even if I weren’t, I wouldn’t want you to have anything to do with it, you—you—I don’t even have words for what you are. You disgust me,” I say as quietly as possible so Lucy doesn’t overhear any parts of our conversation.
Dylan sighs. “Fine, I get it. I made a mistake. But please, don’t tell my wife.”
I take in a slow breath through my nose, doing my best not to punch his face. “I’m no home-wrecker,” I snarl. “Hopefully, you got your shit together and are faithful to your wife now.”
I breathe heavily, and a wave of dizziness makes me sway. I need to sit down. No, I need to fucking get away from this man. Luckily, Liv and Jessica return a moment later.
“Okay, guys,” Dylan says with a smile, and no one could ever tell what kind of conversation we just had. “It’s time to go. It was nice meeting you all. ”
I’m hardly aware of my surroundings or how everyone says goodbye and how they take off. I struggle to keep up appearances and not let my uneasiness show. But once Liv and I sit back down on the bench, she turns to me with a frown. “Emma, are you okay? You are awfully pale. And you’re shaking.”
I draw in a deep breath. “No, I’m not okay. I—I knew that guy.”
Liv’s eyes widen. “Seriously? How? His wife told me they’re from Washington and only in New York because her husband is meeting some clients here.”
I shake my head. Well, at least the Washington part wasn’t a lie. “I can’t talk about that now. Sorry, Liv,” I say as I jump up. “I need to go. I need to see Jack. Is that okay?”
“Of course it is. Are you sure I can’t do anything for you? Accompany you over to Jack’s?”
“No, Liv. Thanks for the offer, but I need to be alone.” We say goodbye with a hug. “Sorry. I’ll call you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
The worry on her face kills me, and before I burst into tears, I hurry down the street and hail a cab that takes me to the man I need more than ever. And sure enough, once I sit in the car, I can’t hold back the tears anymore.
“Oh, lady,” the cab driver says, looking at me through the rearview mirror. “Is everything all right?”
I wave him off. “Yeah. Sorry. I’ll be fine once you drop me off.”
When the cab stops across the street from Jack’s apartment building, relief washes through me .
Unfortunately, that feeling is short-lived. What I witness as I glance at the other side shreds my heart. Jack strides out of the building, and right behind him is Kate. He turns to her with a smile, and she places her hand on his one cheek while she plants a soft kiss on his other. And then they hug; not a hug you share with a friend; no, this is much more intimate.
“Excuse me, miss? Are you getting out?”
The cab driver’s voice brings my attention back to him. I force my gaze away from the painful scene and blink away the new tears that form in my eyes. “No, I’m not.”
And I give him another address to take me to—a place where I’ll hopefully find comfort.