Chapter 53
ANASTASIA
I’ve been tossing and turning all night, unable to fall asleep. How could I when I know what today holds. By the time I was able to close my eyes, I was being woken up by a knock at the door.
Maria walks in, pulling the curtains open to let in the morning sun. “Buenos días senorita, es hora de levantarse.”
The dress I’m meant to wear hangs perfectly on the closet door. The sun hitting it just right. It’s a beautiful dress, truly. And in another life, I could have seen myself in it. But I’m currently trapped in a nightmare, about to marry the devil.
A tray gets brought in with breakfast but I can’t force myself to have any.
My mind keeps going to everyone I’m leaving behind.
Everyone I won’t get to see anymore. Ro and Shina, Roman, as quiet as he is, Caine, and the amazing day we spent at the arcade, and the time we got tattoos for each other.
Then Thoren, I just got him back, and as angry and upset as I am, I mourn him all over again.
Finally, Eryx, I hate him and I love him in the same breath.
He is to blame for so much, but is it wrong that part of me wants to forgive him? That I already have forgiven him?
Suddenly the conversation I had with Iris makes total sense. “Whenever you start to doubt him, I just ask that you give him the chance to explain.” She must know what happened, or at least a portion of the story.
I push the tray of food aside and make my way to the restroom.
I stare at myself the mirror but I don’t recognize the girl in the reflection.
My eyes are sunken, dark circles apparent, my hair is missing its shine, and my eyes are scarce of any light.
I remove the bandage on my face. The burn marks still very much present.
Foolish to think they would just go away in three days.
I turn on the shower and stand under the steady stream.
I let the water wash over me, crying, praying to a God I don’t believe in, that he will find me somehow and save me.
I cry for the life that has been stolen for me, for the life I’m going to live, the friends I’ll never see again.
This isn’t fucking fair. None of this is fucking fair.
I make a promise to myself right then, that I will not succumb to this life, to Sebastian, to Sergio. I will get myself out of this.
Maria knocks on the door, bringing me back from my daze. “The stylists are here, I’ll leave a robe for you when you’re ready.”
I turn the water off, “Gracias Maria.” I grab a towel and wrap my hair, then slip into the rob and slippers Maria left for me.
When I exit the bathroom I see a team of people waiting for me.
Taking a seat at the vanity, the first girl removes the towel on my head and begins brushing and blow drying my hair.
The other starts on my face, being careful around my soon to be scars.
By the time they are done, three hours have passed.
My hair is in a pretty up-do. My face, a soft glam.
I’m glowing on the outside, but I feel nothing but decay inside.
They leave and Maria comes back in to help me into my dress. “Se ve hermosa, senorita. Siento mucho por las circunstancias, pero realmente eres una hermosa novia.”
She sees my eyes swell and stops me. “No senorita, por favor no llores. Todo estará bien.” She wipes at my eyes, careful to not smudge any of the makeup.
A knock at the door takes her away and when she opens he door, Sergio is standing there. She gives me a weary look but he orders her away leaving me alone with the other monster of my story.
“Anastasia, daughter, you look beautiful.” He exclaims with false admiration.
I turn away from him, “I am not your daughter, and you are not my father.”
He grabs my arm and spins me around to face him. “You will look me in the eyes when addressing me.”
“Fuck you,” I spit back.
Slap.
The hit comes hard and fast. I bring my hand to my cheek.
“Show some damn respect, I thought I raised you better than that.”
That makes me laugh, “Raised me? Mom, raised me. Thoren, raised me. The maids, raised me. You didn’t do anything but abuse me my entire life. And now you’re using me as a damn pawn in your sick and twisted game. Trading me, like fucking cattle.”
He scoffs, “All you’ve ever been is an ungrateful brat. Nothing but a whore, opening your legs for that boy, just like your mother did.”
I’m fuming now, hearing him talk like that about her, the woman who loved me unconditionally, who was always there for me.
“Is that why you did it?” I press. “Is that why you had her killed? Had Mateo killed? Couldn’t take the bruise to your ego knowing she’d rather fuck him than let you anywhere near her?”
He goes to hit me again but I don’t flinch this time. “Go ahead, hit me, I know the truth.”
He laughs, “You insolent little girl, you don’t know anything. But you are right about one thing, I did kill her. I killed them both. And I would do it again. That bitch disrespected me the moment she let him touch her.” He says it so callously, no emotion behind it, no remorse.
I take a step back. He actually admitted it. And all I feel is sick.
“Clean yourself up, the wedding is starting soon.”
I shake my head, “No.”
“Let me make myself clear, Anastasia. You will put your heels on, wipe those tears, put a smile on your face and make your way downstairs. You will not embarrass me.”
I plant my feet, refusing to comply, “I will not play a part in your sick twisted game. I’m not some doll you can toss around as you please. You can’t make me marry him. I won’t.”
He strides closer to me, looking down at me.
“You’re getting married to Sebastian today. You can do it willingly or get dragged by your hair. You decide.”
I just stand there, unable to move.
“If you aren’t down there and ready when it’s time, you can kiss your little boyfriend goodbye. I’ll shoot him between the eyes and let you watch as his soul leaves his body.”
With those last parting words, he leaves and I fall to the ground. I can’t stop shaking. There’s no way he could get to him right? I won’t be reason Iris loses another child. I can’t let that happen to him. I won’t let someone else I love die because of me.
I pick myself up, dry my tears, and fix my makeup.
I slip into my shoes, and leave the room.
I leave the girl I once was and the girl I’ll never get to be.
I leave my hopes for the future. I leave Ro and Shina.
Roman and Caine. I leave Thoren, who I’ve only just got back.
And I leave Eryx. Because I can’t have them anymore.
Not if I want them to live. It’s because I love them that I need to let them go.
With my new mask on, I walk through the corridor and down the stairs. I prepare myself for my new reality. I hear faint music off in the distance. Maria waits for me at the end with a beautiful bouquet. Peonies. Just like that morning in Iris’ kitchen.