Chapter 3
"Keep in mind that great love and great achievements involve great risks"
—Dalai Lama
When I arrived, I took off my shoes and sat on the living room couch holding my head in my hands.
That should never have happened!, I reproached myself.
My phone rang with the message notification tone and I picked it up cautiously, but it was a message from Serafina.
“How are you? Cami told me you weren’t feeling well”
It bothered me to have to lie to my friends, but at that moment I didn’t have the strength to explain something I didn’t know how to explain.
“I’m better, just tired and had a bit of a headache. Sorry for leaving”
Next message from my friend:
“Are you sure?”
My response:
“Absolutely sure. I’m home now, thanks”
I left the phone on the couch and got up to get some water.
As I was walking toward the kitchen, it rang again.
I went back thinking it was my friend again, but I froze when I saw it was a message from him.
I hadn’t saved his number and there was no profile picture, but that message could only be from him.
“We need to talk”
I didn’t know whether to respond or pretend I hadn’t received it.
I also wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk to him.
What was he going to tell me? That he regretted it?
I regretted it too and I wasn’t about to explain to him why.
Better to leave things as they were. I decided not to respond, maybe that way he would realize I didn’t want to discuss it anymore.
While I was drinking water, the phone started ringing, but this time it was a call.
At that moment I was certain it was him; that man wasn’t going to accept my silence, he was used to people doing what he wanted and ordered.
I checked the number and confirmed what I thought.
I turned off the phone and decided to go to bed. I’d had enough for one night.
I put on a short, light nightgown and went to bed, but I couldn’t fall asleep.
I don’t know how long I spent tossing and turning in bed.
When I couldn’t take it anymore, I got up and decided to make myself some tea.
As I was returning to my bedroom to drink it while lying in bed, the sound of the doorbell startled me.
I looked at the kitchen clock; it was one-thirty in the morning.
Who could that be?, I wondered.
I realized it wasn’t the intercom buzzer, but the doorbell itself, meaning it was someone the doorman had let into the building without notifying me.
It must be Baco, I told myself.
I went to the door and, just to be safe, looked through the peephole. I nearly fainted right there. Hermes was standing on the other side of the door and he looked angry, which was nothing new.
“Open the door, Delfina. I know you’re there.”
How can he know that?, I wondered, but a second later he answered my question.
“The doorman told me you arrived a little while ago, so open the door or I’ll break it down, and I assure you I will. Don’t provoke me.”
I flung the door open because I was sure he was telling the truth, but the fury I felt at his threat made me completely forget that I was wearing a short and rather sensual nightgown.
“Have you gone completely mad? Stop following me and meddling in my life!” I exclaimed, looking at him furiously with my hands on my hips.
When his gaze traveled over my entire body and his eyes darkened, I realized what I was wearing and tried to close the door, but he was faster and didn’t allow it, entering the apartment in two strides.
“Get out of my apartment, n-o-w!” I ordered, pointing at the door with my arm stretched out.
“Stop behaving like a child and close the door, or do you want Baco to find out I’m here?”
“If he finds out, you’ll be the one who has to explain because you’re the one who’s where you shouldn’t be.”
He ran his hands through his black hair in a clear gesture of desperation and sat down on the living room couch.
“Close the door and let’s talk, please,” he said, in a weary tone.
I was surprised that he was pleading; I had never heard him speak in that tone and had never seen him with such a worried expression. I closed the door and turned to face him.
“Give me a moment to put on a robe.”
“Don’t bother on my account, you can stay like that. You’re quite a sight to behold,” he remarked, looking at me with desire.
I didn't respond and headed to my bedroom as quickly as I could.
I couldn't believe he was there. I grabbed my robe and put it on, and as I was turning to leave, I found him standing at my bedroom door, leaning against the frame and looking at me seriously.
Once again my heart began to race wildly—this man was going to be the cause of me having a heart attack!
“You have a bad habit of entering without being invited. You shouldn't be here,” I stated, trying to sound calm, although I wasn't in the slightest.
“I shouldn't do many things, but lately I've been breaking all my rules,” he replied, still standing there and looking me up and down.
“Mr. Darwich...”
“Drop the formality. Don't you think we're past that? I forbid you to address me formally.”
“You forbid me? Why are you always giving orders? I forbid you to give me orders,” I said, looking at him with a furrowed brow.
He surprised me because a mischievous smile formed on his face that made my knees go weak. This man was perfect! Without realizing it, I found myself staring at his lips longer than I should have.
“What's happening between us, Delfina?” he asked, entering the bedroom and sitting on my bed with his hands on his knees and his back leaning forward, while he looked at me waiting for an answer that I didn't have.
“I don't feel comfortable talking here, let's go to the living room,” I suggested, because seeing him sitting on my bed was making me imagine things I shouldn't.
I started walking toward the door, but his hand stopped me, grabbing me by the waist.
“No, Hermes, please,” I begged, because I knew that if he touched me I wouldn't have the strength to reject him.
“Say my name again,” he asked, with his lips brushing against mine and his arms encircling my waist.
I shook my head.
“Say it, darling, I'm dying to hear my name from your delicious mouth.”
“You shouldn't say those things to me,” I whispered, realizing that my resolve was crumbling.
“Say it.”
“Hermes, please, this is a damn mistake...”
“It is, but you have no idea how much I want to make it...”
And once again he assaulted my mouth, possessing it completely and claiming all of it, and I responded.
We seemed like two thirsty people drinking every last drop of water; it was a desperate kiss.
Unable to think coherently, I raised my hands and tangled them in his hair.
Hermes let out a deep groan and my body shuddered completely; it was the most erotic sound I had ever heard.
Without stopping kissing me, he began to walk, dragging me in the opposite direction of the door until we fell onto the bed.
I felt his hands all over my body, and those large hands fit every part of my body as if they had been made for it.
When he tried to slip his hand under my underwear, a light of coherence broke through the fog I was in, and I realized I couldn't allow this to happen.
I was sure that Hermes would play target practice with my heart.
A man like him was beyond my limits. With what little strength I had, I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away, immediately getting up.
He sat on the bed and looked at me with a frustrated expression.
“We can't do this,” I whispered, looking at him timidly.
“Tell me why.”
“I already told you I think it's a mistake and you agreed.”
“But it's obvious that I want to do it.”
“I can't, Hermes, really. I'm not a woman who takes risks in these things, and I get the feeling that you must break hearts indiscriminately. I can't risk it.”
“Delfina, I'm only proposing sex. It's clear that we both desire each other, so why can't we enjoy our bodies? Besides, you must have realized that it promises to be very good.”
“Are you proposing sex with exclusivity?” I asked, to get an idea of what he was suggesting.
“No. I never have exclusivity with anyone, no exceptions,” he denied, categorically.
“And I've never had a relationship like that and I don't think I could handle it, I'm sorry.”
“Is that your final word? Because I don't give second chances,” he said seriously, as he got up from the bed and looked at me with his powerful gaze.
“I don't give them either,” I said, even though I desired him like I had never desired anyone before, I couldn't be with him knowing he was also sleeping with others. I wasn't like that and I wasn't going to tolerate it, even if he made me feel things I had never felt before.
“Very well. That being the case, goodbye, Delfina,” he said dryly, and left my bedroom passing by me without looking at me, leaving the scent of his intoxicating cologne in the air.