Chapter 4 #5
“That’s why you fled over here, because you think he might show up at your apartment.”
“He might do that and I really don’t want to face him today. Besides, I’m exhausted and my brain isn’t working well. Can I sleep for a while?” I pleaded.
“Of course you can. Do you want me to wake you at any particular time?”
“Whenever you want me to get up,” I said, as I headed to her bedroom, dragging my feet. “Thanks, Seri.”
“Rest well.”
As soon as I lay down, sleep won the battle and I fell into a deep slumber.
I woke up to the sound of my friend's voice. Serafina was sitting on the bed, gently calling my name to try to wake me up.
“Delfi, wake up. It’s five in the afternoon and you should eat something.”
Without lifting my head from the pillow, I opened my eyes and looked at her.
“Five o’clock?” I asked, completely disoriented.
“You really were tired,” she affirmed.
“Sleeping did me good, thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, you’re like my sister. I’m worried that you haven’t eaten anything. Get up, I’ve prepared a snack.”
“I’ll get up now, just give me a minute to use the bathroom.”
“I’ll wait for you in the living room,” she said, heading toward the door, but when she was almost there, she turned and looked at me seriously. “Your cell phone hasn’t stopped ringing, but I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Thanks. I’ll check it now.”
When I reached the living room, I saw sandwiches, some sweet cookies, coffee, and milk on the table. My friend was sitting waiting for me and when she saw me heading toward my purse, she raised her voice in protest.
“Delfina, don’t you dare grab that phone. Come eat something and then you can check who called you,” she demanded, adding: “although you don’t need to be a genius to figure it out.”
“You’re right, I’ll look at it later. Thank you for everything you prepared.”
“Better sit down and eat.”
While we ate, she told me that nothing had happened with Nicolás because, even though she had found him physically attractive, they hadn’t connected, so she decided to go home early.
She also told me that after I let her know I was leaving, Gaspar went over to talk to Nicolás, and it seemed like he had also left the place.
“Well, now that you’ve eaten, you can go get your phone.”
“I’m surrounded by bossy people.”
“Don’t compare me to them. In my case, I do it because I care about you,” she said, looking at me seriously.
When I picked up the phone, I couldn’t believe all the missed calls I had. Hermes had been calling me all day; I had fifteen missed calls and a couple of messages from him.
Messages:
“Why did you leave? Did you get home safely?”
A little while later:
“I’m worried, tell me if you’re okay”
“Delfi, call him, he really seems worried,” my friend suggested.
“Yes, I think it would be better if I...”
At that moment, the phone rang again. It was Hermes once more.
“That won’t be necessary,” my friend said. “Go talk in my bedroom so you can have some privacy.”
“Hello,” I answered, while heading to the bedroom.
“Are you okay? Where are you?” he asked in a worried tone.
“I’m fine, why do you ask?”
“You left in the middle of the night and alone! Since you weren’t answering your phone, I went to your apartment. You weren’t there, and neither was your car, which really worried me a lot. Why weren’t you answering your phone?” he demanded, his voice rising as he spoke.
“I’m at a friend’s house.”
“Why weren’t you answering?” he repeated, but more calmly.
“Because I fell asleep. I’ve been sleeping since ten this morning.”
“Are you feeling well?” he sounded worried again.
“I was just tired.”
“Do you have an answer for me?”
“Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?” I responded, with heaviness in my voice.
“Have you already decided?”
“Tomorrow.”
“Okay, I’ll wait for your call.”
“Talk to you later.”
◆◆◆
I returned to my apartment after ten at night.
I was feeling a bit depressed about what I was going to do the next day.
I had to admit that it saddened me not to be able to be with Hermes, but I knew it was for the best, and that gave some peace to my troubled heart.
Since I had already had dinner with Serafina, I took a shower, put on a nightgown, and prepared some tea to drink in bed while reading a book.
Before going to bed, I called Baco to ask how the family meeting had gone.
“Hello, neighbor!”
“Hello, stranger. I stopped by your place today, but when I didn’t find you, I imagined that last night’s date lasted longer than expected,” he said, joking.
“You imagine wrong. I was at Serafina’s house all day.”
“Look how boring you turned out to be!”
“Enough, shut up and tell me how the talk with your family went,” I demanded, and I realized that lately, all my conversations had Hermes as the main subject.
“It went well. It was difficult to convince my brother, but he ended up accepting that starting next month I'll work half-time at the company so I can dedicate more time to painting.”
“Are you satisfied with that?”
“It’s a big step and for now I’m satisfied because I understand that I can’t leave the company overnight, but I also know that now that I’ve explained everything I think about working there, in the short term I’m going to try to distance myself from it.”
“What did your brother say?”
“He didn’t take it very well, but I was still surprised that he was much more open to listening to me than on other occasions.
I suppose it was because this time I had my mother’s support.
Yesterday when we ran into you and your friend, we were just arriving because he insisted on seeing the paintings I had in my apartment. ”
“And what did he think of them?”
“I think he was pleasantly surprised. He praised them a lot and told me I have a lot of talent.”
“That’s wonderful, Baco! I’m so happy for you.”
“Thank you. I have a lot to thank you for because if you hadn’t insisted on sending that painting to my mother, this probably wouldn’t have happened.”
“I think that, sooner or later, it would have happened anyway. You’re a great artist.”
“And you’re my number one fan.”
“Don’t doubt that for a second. I’ll see you tomorrow, I’m going to bed.”
“Sleep well, beautiful.”
“You too.”
Feeling calmer and happier after my conversation with Baco, I went to bed with my tea and book.
Normally reading disconnected me from all the day’s stress, making my mind stop thinking about everything I’d experienced and focus on the story in my hands, but that day it wasn’t working its magic and I was turning pages without having any idea what I was reading.
Besides, having slept so much in the afternoon, I couldn’t relax and fall asleep either.
A few minutes after midnight, the doorbell rang, making me jump.
Very cautiously, I went to the door and looked through the peephole.
It was Hermes.
What is he doing here?, I wondered.
The doorbell rang again.
“Just a moment,” I said, as I went back to my bedroom for my robe.
“You don’t need to go put on your robe,” he commented from outside.
I froze.
Does this man have X-ray vision or can he read minds?, I questioned myself.
I kept walking and, once the robe was in place and the belt well-fastened, I went back to open the door.
“I told you this garment wasn’t necessary,” he said, looking me up and down.
“Good evening, Hermes. What are you doing here at this hour?”
“May I come in?”
“Come in,” I said, stepping aside to let him pass.
I closed the door and turned to look at him. He was standing a few feet away from me and looking at me strangely. I think it was the first time I’d noticed him nervous. It was very odd seeing him in that position because he always presented himself as a self-assured person.
“What brings you here at this hour? If I remember correctly, we agreed we would talk tomorrow.”
“That’s exactly why I’m here, it is ‘tomorrow’ already,” he stated.
“What?”
“I already told you that you need to stop saying that. May I sit down?”
“I think we both know that when I said ‘tomorrow,’ I was referring to a time during the ‘day’ and not the early morning hours.”
“You didn’t specify. May I sit down?” he asked again.
“Sit down,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Would you like coffee or tea?”
“No, thank you. I want you to give me your answer,” he said seriously.
“Impatience, one more flaw to add to your personality.”
“Don’t try to be funny and tell me what you’ve decided,” he said very solemnly.
I approached the sofa and sat down at the other end, with Hermes’s gaze fixed on me the entire time.
“I’m not going to accept your proposal, I’m sorry.”
“What?” he asked, looking at me with disbelief.
“You need to stop saying that,” I said, repeating what he always said to me and trying to lighten the mood, but it didn’t work.
“Are you telling me you don’t accept me?”
“That’s not what I said. It’s not you I’m rejecting, I’m saying I don’t accept the type of relationship you’re proposing.”
“And what is it that you want?” he asked, looking at me seriously, once again taking his defensive posture.
“What I want, you’ve already made clear that you can’t or won’t give me, so I’m the one refusing to enter into a relationship where I’m very likely to end up hurt.”
He looked at me and let out an ironic laugh.
—“Feelings. Darling, you’re wrong, it’s when feelings get mixed in that you get hurt, that’s exactly why they should be left out,” he expressed in a mocking tone.
—“That’s your way of thinking, not mine, and I don’t see why you’re mocking me. You know, your mockery says more about your frustrations than mine.”
—“Frustrations? What do you know about my life to talk like that?” he asked, not raising his voice, but I could tell he was furious about my comment.
—“I don’t know anything, just as you don’t know anything about mine. It’s better if we pretend nothing happened between us.”
—“Is that really what you want? Because I remind you that last night you were trembling and moaning with pleasure in my arms.”
—“I’m well aware of that, but I stand by my decision.”
—“Are you doing this to try to get something more? Are you trying to blackmail me with your refusal?”
—“It’s clear you don’t know me,” I said, shaking my head, “if you knew me even a little, you’d know I would never think of something like that.
I’m doing this because I’m convinced that what you’re proposing will end up hurting me.
I understand, Hermes, I understand that you’re not for me and I accept it.
My refusal isn’t about you, my refusal is because I can’t handle that. ”
—“You want me to play the boyfriend role and promise you a happy future, is that it?”
—“I don’t want you to promise me a happy future, nobody has the power to know what will happen in the future, but I’d like to enter a relationship knowing there could be a future, that in case love develops, I have a future by your side.
Unfortunately, with you I have an expiration date, nothing more. ”
—“And how can you be so sure you’ll fall in love with me?”
—“I don’t have that certainty, but for me, thinking about entering a relationship without the hope of falling in love is... how can I explain... it’s like stepping into a boxing ring with an opponent, but unwilling to fight, it’s being willing to be the loser from the start.”
—“This is madness!” he exclaimed, and I noticed that at that moment he was controlling himself to keep from unleashing his devilish temper.
I didn’t say anything and just kept looking at him.
—“Can you think about it more?” he asked, trying to sound calmer.
—“I’m sorry, I won’t change my mind.”
—“Why are you so stubborn?”
—“How ironic! I think I’m being sensible and you’re the one who’s being stubborn.”
—“I’m not at an age for whims, darling. My intention is to spend time with you, pleasurable time, but I’m not one who begs, I’m one who seduces and I always get what I want.”
He got up from the couch and I did the same. He came closer to me, took my chin, and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.
—“We’ll be seeing each other, Delfina.”
—“Goodbye, Hermes.”
He left me standing there, thinking about what he had said and with a tingling on my lips from that sensual kiss.