Chapter 6 #2
“I don’t see myself that way. I just wanted to know a bit more about you, and let me tell you, I was very impressed. In fact, I’d like to get your opinion on some financial matters related to my company,” he commented quite naturally.
“You want my professional opinion?”
“It would be very important to have your advice.”
“We can have a business meeting, but I warn you that my services are expensive.”
“I think I can afford it,” he affirmed with a big smile.
From that point on, the conversation became more relaxed. We talked about our professions and companies, chatted a bit about our siblings and our childhood, and after dessert, we decided to go to my apartment for “the talk.”
When we arrived, I felt extremely nervous. I didn’t know how this would end, but getting to know him a little better and having chatted about trivial things made him seem less unattainable and, although it sounds contradictory, that made me feel more nervous and anxious.
“Would you like me to make some coffee?” I asked.
“I’d like that,” he responded, while sitting down on the living room sofa.
I left the coffee maker running and went to the en-suite bathroom in my bedroom. I needed to calm down. I refreshed myself, brushed my teeth, and looked at myself in the mirror.
Come on, Delfina, you’re no coward! I encouraged myself.
I returned to the kitchen, poured two cups of coffee, and went to meet him. When I arrived, I found him examining the painting that Baco had given me.
“Your brother is very talented,” I stated, as I set the tray down on the coffee table.
Hermes turned and looked at me.
“He mentioned that you encouraged him to give the painting to my mother,” he said, as he approached and sat back down on the sofa.
“Something like that. I brought sugar and sweetener.”
“I take it black,” he announced.
“Well…now that we’re here, I think it’s time for you to tell me about your past.”
Hermes exhaled, and I got the impression that he seemed exhausted.
“I haven’t talked about this in a long time,” he said, and seemed to gather courage to continue, “and believe me, it’s not easy.
I was in love, we got along well, and I wanted to spend all my time with her, so after a year of dating, I proposed.
I didn’t even hesitate; I knew what I felt and what I wanted. Valeria accepted without hesitation.”
I realized that hearing his confession made me jealous, and I envied that woman who had conquered him and won his love. Hermes paused and looked at me, and I took the opportunity to ask a question.
“How old were you?”
“We were both 26, though I was much more mature than she was. By then, I was already in charge of the family business. We set a date for the wedding two months after my proposal. Everything proceeded normally, with the nerves and excitement typical of such an event.”
“The day before the wedding, Valeria asked me not to see each other, supposedly because of that silly superstition, but that night I was anxious and needed to see her. I don’t know, it was like I had a premonition, so I decided to stop by to say goodnight.
I had a key to her house, so I went in and…
” —he paused and looked down, as if those memories still tortured him— “I found her rolling around with my best friend. Later I found out they had been together for almost a year, meaning almost our entire relationship, but she didn’t want to give up my fortune, so she agreed to marry me while continuing her affair with that traitor. ”
At that moment, he interrupted his story and looked at me. His eyes were shining, and the anguish he felt was palpable.
“I’m sorry, Hermes. I’m sorry you had to go through that horrible experience.”
“Horrible doesn’t even begin to cover it. After that, I swore I would never again fall into the trap of that feeling that only brings disappointment and pain. They will always end up betraying me and betraying my trust. My only certainty in this life is that I must never trust again.”
“I can understand why you think that way, but you shouldn’t let that experience mark your life so deeply. You’re still giving them too important a place in it.”
He looked at me for a long time without saying anything, and I took the opportunity to continue expressing what I thought. If we were going to be honest, it was better not to hold anything back.
“If you keep looking back, toward the past, and don’t turn to see what you have in your present, you might lose the opportunity to have a great future.”
“No one has ever said something like that to me before.”
“Now that I know that part of your life, I can understand you a little better. Still, I have the feeling that all women fall into the same category as that traitor, and that doesn’t seem fair to me.
If that’s the case, I don’t think we can have anything, because I aspire to something that under these conditions won’t work out. ”
“Tell me what you aspire to,” he asked.
“I aspire to know everything about you, I aspire to have you as a partner, as a boyfriend, I aspire to win your heart, but it’s clear that I don’t have any chance, she took your heart and it seems she hasn’t returned it.”
“You aspire to a lot,” he said, resigned.
“I know, Hermes, I know, and, although it may sound immodest on my part, I believe I deserve to aspire to all that.”
“I don’t doubt it, the problem isn’t you, it’s me.”
“Someone once told me this phrase that I always keep in mind,” I said, looking at him and continuing, “‘To be happy, one needs to eliminate two things: the fear of a bad future and the memory of a bad past.’ It’s a quote from the philosopher Seneca and I always remember it.”
“I don’t dispute that it’s very wise, but it’s not easy to follow that advice.”
Again we looked at each other in silence, a silence that said more than many words.
“Yesterday I told you something that I still maintain. Beyond everything I just confessed to you, I want to be with you, I don’t want to lose you.”
“But you’ll never trust me, because I believe I understood that you think all women are treacherous.”
“Delfina, I want to try. You are the only one who has the possibility of making me forget everything, I feel it here,” he said, pointing to his chest with his index finger.
“You’re loading me with too much responsibility, I don’t know if I can handle that,” I stated.
“You can, darling. I want to be your boyfriend, your lover, your friend, I want your world to be me.”
“And will I be yours?” I asked, skeptical.
“Since I met you, I haven’t thought about anything but you. Give me that chance, I beg you.”
“Before making any decision, I need to tell you something important because I don’t want to hide anything from you. I know it will shock you, but I don’t want to keep it to myself. I won’t blame you if you want to walk out that door and never see me again.”
“Are you a serial killer?”
“Don’t joke, Hermes.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that you’re making me nervous. Tell me, please,” he said, taking my hands in his.
“I think I’m in love with you.”
Hermes released my hands and looked at me seriously. He stood up and walked a few steps away from me and then came back and sat down in the place where he was before.
Now he’s going to run away and I don’t think I’ll ever see him again, I thought.
“The door is over there, you can leave and I won’t reproach you for anything,” I stated, pointing to the front door.
“I’m not planning to leave,” he expressed immediately.
“What I confessed scares you,” I stated.
“Actually, no.”
“Hermes, don’t lie to me, I was sincere, I opened my heart to you and I expect the same from you. I can understand if you’re scared and want to run away.”
“I’m not, I assure you. The thing is that it’s hard for me to believe it, I already told you that I’m distrustful, I have to learn to manage it.”
“Then you’ll understand that I’m risking too much, I’m risking my heart and I’m not convinced I want to bet it.”
Hermes surprised me by hugging me. He hugged me tightly and buried his face in my neck.
“Let’s bet on this, darling, and see what happens. I promise you sincerity and I expect the same from you. Let’s go step by step and see how far we get.”
“It might be a thorny path.”
“We can face it, don’t you think? Let me be your man, your boyfriend, or whatever you want to call it,” he said, looking into my eyes.
“I have to warn you about something else,” I pointed out.
“Are you going to keep talking much longer?” he asked, looking at my lips with desire.
“If you ever cheat on me...”
“You’ll cut my balls off,” he stated, interrupting me.
“I wasn’t going to say that, but it’s not a bad idea,” I accepted, with a mischievous smile.
“Reminder, I shouldn’t give you bad ideas,” he affirmed, smiling.
“What are you waiting for to kiss me?” I whispered against his lips.
“I promised I would only do it with your consent. Give it to me, please, because I’ll die if I don’t kiss you.”
“Kiss me, Hermes Darwich.”
And he didn’t need anything more, he placed his hand on my neck and pulled me toward him to take possession of my mouth, claiming everything, mouth, body, and soul.
Our tongues dueled, leaving nothing uncaressed.
After a few minutes, Hermes pulled back slightly to gently bite my lip, unleashing an overwhelming desire.
“Let’s go to your bedroom,” he whispered, stood up and, tugging at my hand, dragged me there.
As soon as we entered, he embraced me again and kissed me ardently. I raised my arms and tangled my fingers in his hair, delighting in its softness. Hermes moaned into my mouth and pulled away slightly.
“Let me take off this little dress that has only made me think about caressing and kissing your entire sensual body. I’m going crazy with desire, I assure you that I’ve never desired anyone the way I desire you,” he whispered in a husky voice and made me turn around so he could focus on lowering the zipper that was on my back.