Chapter 7 #4
“I can't promise I won't if you ever do something that causes me suffering.
I don't know what will happen with us. I can only assure you that, deliberately, I won't do anything that could hurt you.
We can't know what the future holds for us, but at this moment I know, with complete certainty, that I love you, I know I want to be with you, and I know I'll do everything I can to make this work, but a relationship involves both of us, and if you fail, I can't promise to stay by your side because, if knowing that I love you, you play with my feelings, you don't deserve me to do so.”
“I also want to be with you and only you, but I'm broken and I don't know if I can love again,” he affirmed, and the sadness I saw reflected on his face pierced my heart.
“Just keep in mind that being broken doesn't give you the right to break someone else. For now, that's enough for me.”
“I won't do it because I want you with me. I know I'm being selfish, but I want you for myself. You're part of my life and I want you to continue being part of it. Don't leave me,” and that phrase was a plea that came from his soul and pierced mine.
I moved closer to his lips and kissed him with an open heart. I kissed him without realizing that my tears were running down my cheeks, mixing with the kiss. Hermes responded with the same devotion. Our tongues danced in a desperate, romantic, and passionate dance.
The song ended and another one began, though I didn't know which one because I was immersed in that kiss. When we both needed to breathe, we separated, panting, and looked into each other's eyes without letting go of our embrace. Hermes dried my tears with his lips.
“Let's get out of here,” he said, and pulled me to continue our way to the exit.
We had left our cars in the parking lot next to the pub.
When we reached the spot, he accompanied me to my car and then went to his.
I left first and he followed me. During the journey, I kept replaying everything he had said to me.
He wanted me by his side, but he had again stated that he couldn't love.
Could I be with him while being in love and knowing he didn't love me?
At that moment I could do it because, although I didn't want to admit it, I harbored the hope that he would change and could come to love me.
But if time passed and Hermes's love didn't come, could I continue like this?
I was impatient to be his love. At that moment, something I had read and always repeated to Serafina when her boyfriend betrayed her came to mind: "You deserve an abundance of love, not the leftovers of love. " I would have to repeat it to myself.
Upon arriving at the building where I lived, I notified the doorman that, for that night, I would use the garage designated for guests.
Hermes parked his car there and, as soon as we got into the elevator, he hugged me tightly and buried his face in my neck.
After a few seconds, he pulled back to look into my eyes.
“I was watching how you drive, you’re cautious, but you should drive slower,” he pointed out.
I looked at him in amazement, but it felt good that he worried about me. It wasn’t the first time he showed concern for my safety, and although that wasn’t a demonstration of love, it showed me that he cared.
“I was going a bit faster than I normally drive because the streets are pretty quiet at this hour, but I usually drive slower.”
“And here I thought it was because you were eager to unleash your passion on me,” he said with a mischievous smile.
“That too,” I affirmed, giving him a soft kiss on the lips, but when Hermes was about to deepen the kiss, the elevator doors opened, letting us know we had reached my floor.
We exited hand in hand and headed to my apartment.
As soon as I closed the door, Hermes cornered me against it, pressing my back to the door as he unleashed his passion.
His lips sought mine demandingly and his tongue claimed to possess me without giving me respite, devouring me completely and claiming it as his own.
Our uncontrollable moans were an erotic sound that excited us even more.
Hermes caressed my back and breasts while I slipped my hands under his shirt and explored his strong back.
When his hand began to lift my skirt, I arched my back to press myself closer to him.
With a quick movement, he got rid of my underwear and I took the opportunity to pull down his pants and boxer.
Hermes lifted me up and made me wrap my legs around his waist to penetrate me forcefully.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him wildly.
He began to move at a cadenced rhythm that made us lose control, and between moans and gasps, we shouted the release of a brutal orgasm that made us tremble from head to toe.
“Hermes!” I screamed, while I heard my name coming out hoarsely from his throat.
“Delfina!”
When our breathing normalized, Hermes helped me stand up, fixed my skirt and pulled up his clothes, but my legs were shaking and I had to hold onto him.
Noticing my weakness, he took me in his arms and carried me to the bed to gently place me on it and then lie down beside me.
We were still dressed, but we stayed like that for a while, in silence and looking into each other’s eyes, those beautiful green eyes that made me lose myself in them.
“You have beautiful eyes, I get lost in the blue of your eyes,” he stated, caressing my cheek.
“I was thinking the same about yours, you have very pretty eyes,” I said.
“They’re the characteristic eyes of my mother’s family.”
“I noticed that, your mom and Baco have the same color. Although everyone has different expressions.”
“How so?” he asked, curious.
“Baco’s are mostly cheerful, your mom’s are attentive and very warm, and...”
“And mine?” he asked, looking at me with a half-smile.
“Yours are usually serious and often frowning, but when you smile, they light up in such a wonderful way that makes one get lost in your gaze.”
“I’ll have to smile more often,” he said with a wide smile.
“But only for me, those wonderful smiles are forbidden to others.”
Hermes let out a laugh and pulled me close to his body to hug me, kissed me on the head and asked:
“Are you very tired?”
“I am, today was a day of a lot of work,” I responded, closing my eyes at his caress.
“Then, let’s go to sleep.”
“I’ll go to the bathroom and then we’ll get into bed,” I proposed, “if you want you can use the other bathroom.”
“Very well,” he said, as he got up from the bed.
When I came out of the bathroom, Hermes had already gone to bed and was tucked between the sheets, half-sitting with his bare torso. I had put on a short, sexy nightgown.
“You take my breath away. You’re so beautiful,” he said, stretching out his hand for me to take it.
With his other hand he pulled back the comforter, I lay down embracing him and he readjusted the comforter to cover me. He hugged me tightly against his body while I rested my head on his chest. I gave him a kiss on the chest and noticed that he shuddered.
“I really like sleeping with you, you’re going to spoil me and then it will be difficult for me to sleep without you,” I said, and gave him another kiss on the chest before resting my cheek on it.
“I really like sleeping with you too, we’ll have to find a solution, don’t you think?”
I heard what he stated and what he asked, but I didn’t respond and made him believe I had fallen asleep.
“Delfina? Are you asleep?” and after a few seconds he answered himself: “It seems so.”
I was a coward, I know, but I wasn’t prepared to hear what I assumed he would propose as a solution, because the only one was to sleep together every night, or at least the vast majority, and that meant living together.
If due to his refusal of love the future with Hermes wasn’t very encouraging, adding cohabitation to the relationship was something devoid of all logic.
When the relationship ended, because I was sure that would happen at some point, it would be much more difficult to detach myself from everything related to him.
◆◆◆
The next morning I woke up with Hermes pressed against my back.
I turned slowly to observe him and was able to do so without waking him, though he never stopped embracing me.
I watched him sleep; he was beautiful, sleeping peacefully with his relaxed face making him look younger and carefree.
I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss him and slowly approached his lips to place a sweet kiss there.
As I was pulling away, his hand pressed against my back and drew me toward him to crash his mouth against mine and kiss me passionately.
“Good morning,” I said, looking at him with a smile.
“Good morning,” he responded, also smiling.
“I didn’t want to wake you, sorry. I just couldn’t resist the urge to kiss you.”
“Waking up like this is the best way to start the day, and we can still make it better,” he promised, while sitting up in bed and positioning me straddling him, never breaking eye contact.
He lifted my nightgown and pulled it over my head, then moved me slightly to lower his boxers.
He continued kissing me and began to move downward to caress and kiss my breasts.
I held his head while arching my back, unable to stop moaning with pleasure.
Without delay, he lifted me and made me descend slowly, sinking deeper and deeper into me until he was completely buried.
We both let out all the air from our lungs while panting uncontrollably.
Hermes set the rhythm by holding my hips, slow at first and then uncontrolled.
He rose from the mattress frantically. The moans grew louder and louder, and when we couldn’t take it anymore, we cried out forcefully, a liberating scream caused by an orgasm that devastated us like a hurricane, taking away all sanity.