Chapter 20
POV: Dane?
I’ve never gotten this far with a subject.
Could I even call her a subject now—especially when I knew what she really meant to me?
But Belle still had a long way to go with convincing.
Even though I had already made up my mind about her…I needed to start a new test. Psychological closeness.
We had dabbled a bit in it before. I knew everything about her, yet she only knew the bits and pieces I gave her of my life. She knew nothing about what I thought of myself, deep deep down, and she knew nothing of the confusion that clouded my mind.
But deep down, I think she knew of what lived within my mind. She knew the monster inside of me.
And it frightened her because that same monster lived inside her, begging to be fed.
At 7:00 a.m, when I came to get her for breakfast, she offered her wrists right away. But instead of cuffs, I bound them with a thick velvet ribbon.
She looked down at the velvet rope, studying it, frowning.
“What? Would you prefer cuffs instead?” I smirked, lingering my hand along her wrist, much longer than I should’ve.
I cursed myself, praying she hadn’t seen that she was affecting me.
She narrowed her eyes on me before looking away.
“I’ll take that as a no then,” I smirked, latching my hand onto her wrist as I guided her towards the breakfast table.
With a single, deliberate movement, I released the ribbon, letting it fall to the floor as I drank in the look in her eyes.
Her eyes flashed with shock and confusion immediately as she stared down at the discarded ribbon on the floor.
She glanced up at me and there was a war being waged behind her eyes—desire and hesitation, fear and curiosity, all tangled together. Every flicker of her gaze betrayed the conflict inside her.
She was conflicted. And so was I.
But I had to take the chance.
We were getting closer.
The tests were working.
So the only way forward is with progression. No more handcuffs.
“Are you surprised?” I asked, my gaze lingering along her face.
She tried to hide her emotions, smoothing her features into calm but it did little to erase the image seared into my mind.
“I figured it would be nice to have a normal breakfast this morning,” I shrugged, placing the plates down on the table and sliding into a seat next to her.
I usually sat across from her, keeping a careful distance, but this time the psychological tests demanded closeness. They required patience, a slow dismantling of walls, and a willingness to share information—layer by layer, barrier by barrier—until I reached my desired result.
“A normal breakfast would be us going out on a date,” she mumbled, sticking a piece of sausage into her mouth.
I smirked. “Touche. But this is what we have, Belle.”
We ate in silence until she decided to finally speak up.
Groaning and huffing as she did, “Fine, Dane. Let’s have a normal breakfast then.”
I forced myself not to look surprised that my plan was starting to work.
I eased my shoulders, leaned back in the chair, and let my eyes roam over her, taking in every detail.
She seemed…relaxed for once.
Then I asked, “How did you sleep last night?”
“Fine. I will say the mattress is great, soft, comfy. It’s almost as if I’m staying at a luxury hotel—that’s before I remember the fact that I was kidnapped,” she shot me her legendary glare.
I tried to hide the amusement in my face. “I thought we were going to have a normal breakfast,” I reminded her.
“I think normal is overrated and I’m certain that you feel the same,” she shrugged, finishing her coffee then pushing the plates forward and crossing her arms. “I’m not used to having free movement of my arms…this feels weird.”
I straightened my shoulders and stiffened my gaze. “Well, I think we’ve come to that point in our relationship.”
“Relationship?” she cocked an eyebrow. “Does that mean you’ll finally take me out on a date?”
She was teasing me now.
I leaned forward, pressing my forearms into the wood table and focusing my gaze on hers. “If you behave.”
“Behave?” she laughed, rolling her eyes. “I always behave.”
“I can think of a few times you haven’t,” I laughed.
She rolled her eyes again.
And god, I wanted to see her roll those eyes over and over again if I could.
Her gaze latched onto mine and she didn’t blink. “Well, I’ll behave.”
“You better,” I replied, leaning back into my chair.
She leaned forward, her voice softening. “So, if I behave…and if this is supposed to be a normal date then you might as well start by telling me something about yourself.”
A smile curved on my lips. “Oh, so you’d like to know about me? About my deepest darkest secrets? Well, I think I already showed you one of them.”
“I’m sure there’s more,” she said a little too quickly. “But no, your deepest darkest secrets aren’t like a first or second date question. More like about your childhood, your family, your work before…this…”
She peeked up at my sideways and it awakened something inside me, seeing her sincere and willing to learn something about my life.
This was far beyond anything I could have hoped for during my tests.
I was practically holding my breath. “So, you want to know what made me into the man I am today?”
“Can we go to the couch or something?” she said, getting to her feet. For a moment, I almost thought she might try to run.
But she didn’t.
Instead, she walked towards the couch in the living room, plopped down into a seat on the corner, glancing towards the window at the pine trees.
I took a seat opposite to her, giving her space.
She looked comfortable, almost at home. Her blonde hair casually hung down her backside in waves as she nervously tugged the sleeves of her sweatshirt down. She wasn’t angry or insulting me for once and this almost looked normal…as if we were living the life I brought her here for.
“So?” she questioned, locking eyes with me.
“So?” I asked.
She motioned her hand towards me.
I couldn’t help but smile. “Hmm…well where do I even start? My childhood was pretty normal, nothing out of the usual as you could surmise from most psychopaths lives. Is that what you wanted to know?”
She leaned in, as if she was soaking up every word.
“Is this for your next article?” I teased.
“If you ever let me go,” she joked. “But no, just curious.”
“Fine then… if you’re curious, I suppose I’ll have to oblige your request.”
I paused for dramatic effect, scooting across the couch towards her.
“I joined the military when I was 18 years old, I was in combat for a year before I went back to school. I went through an advanced program for medicine and neuroscience. When I turned 30, I practiced medicine and neuroscience for the military and designed several experimental drugs. Last year,
I quit, hoping to settle down.”
She looked at me as if I had a third eye.
Finally, she blew out a heavy breath then said, “Sounds like…a lot.”
I shrugged. “It was but nothing I couldn’t handle.”
“How do you make a living now?”
“Stocks. Bitcoin. Dividends on the drugs. I’m still a consultant for the military when they need it.” I looked her over, watching her think. “What? I don’t make enough money for you?”
She rolled her eyes. “The last thing I’m thinking about is your money.”
“Oh?” I winked at her, scooting another inch towards her. “What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, Belle?” I ran my thumb down her cheek….and she let me.
For a moment, neither of us spoke, we barely even breathed as we stared at each other, mystified and consumed.
Because the truth was…we were both part of the same whole. Both fucked up in our own ways.
And for a second, staring back at each other, she was willing to forget what brought her here, and I was willing to let it consume me.