Chapter 28
POV: Gabrielle?
The room felt like it was closing in. Dark—small—dense air.
If I was actually claustrophobic then I’d be screwed right about now.
My breathing turned ragged within a matter of seconds, as I sank down to the floor, curling myself into a fetal position, clutching my knees tightly against my chest and pressing my forehead into the top of my knees.
And I sobbed.
I fucking sobbed.
Because everything—my entire life was coming apart and fast.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, but it only made it worse. It only made it all feel…real.
I could feel the weight of everything finally coming to the surface.
The reality of it.
The cruel, cold reality that this wasn’t a loving-fun filled relationship where we met by happenstance and we got to know each other gradually, over romantic dates, over small talk, over shared interests.
Because the truth was—this relationship was formed based on the simple fact that I was kidnapped and trapped inside of his house, and forced to spend time with him.
The relationship we had, if I would even call it that, was a relationship of a victim and captor.
It wasn’t a relationship formed on equality or a relationship formed on honesty.
There was a clear inequality in our relationship—because one of us would always be in control, holding all of the cards, while the other would be at a disadvantage.
I’ve written my fair share of exposes on workplace power imbalances, even gender and race power imbalances, but I’ve never written one about relationship imbalances.
Yet, here I was living in one.
And as much as Dane made me feel alive, he also made me feel…numb. Numb because I knew this was not normal.
I buried my face further into the space between my chest and knees and began thinking.
My mind instantly went to the definition of brainwashing.
The act of being indoctrinated.
Was that what was happening to me? Was Dane doing this to me?
I couldn’t tell, and that’s what was even more messed up—that I literally couldn’t tell.
The walls felt like they were closing in around me—boxing me in, like I was confined to a straightjacket and a padded white cell.
But as I blinked my eyes open and looked around me, I was free to move and free to think.
But the truth was much more complicated than that—I could’ve escaped by now.
Dane hadn’t put cuffs on me in days and I hadn’t tried even once to escape. He didn’t treat me like a prisoner anymore. He treated me more like a…girlfriend.
And maybe that’s what I feared the most—that I knew deep deep down that the development of a relationship and feelings were inevitable and bound to happen.
I heaved in a deep breath, trying to slow my mind, trying to rationalize everything going on inside of my mind.
But logic had gone far out of the window the moment I sat down for our date.
I knew there was something off about him.
That he was dangerous—that his questions were alarming—that his movements were calculated.
I knew, deep deep down, I knew that Dane isn’t who he said he was.
He wasn’t safe, or normal, or the perfect man.
Yet, I went on the date and answered all of his questions and trusted him anyway.
When I knew I shouldn’t. When I knew it was dangerous to do so.
I heaved in another breath, using the techniques Dane taught me to calm myself.
And they actually…worked.
My breathing went back to a steady, controlled pace.
I blinked my eyes open and stared at the wall, then tracked my gaze over to my nightstand where the disc Dane gave me was. A few inches next to it sat the dildo.
God, I thought. This was fucked up.
Life was simpler when the only thing I thought about was using the dildo in order to piss him off.
Now, all I could think about was him fucking me until I collapsed.
And the longer I thought about it, the more I convinced myself that this was normal.
A knock sounded on the door, firm but soft. “Belle.”
I didn’t respond.
“Belle, baby, are you okay?”
No, I most certainly am not okay, Dane.
“Go away,” I said instead.
“You don’t mean that, baby.”
He was right, I didn’t.
I stayed silent, drowning in my self loathing.
“Baby,” his voice softened. “Open the door. Let me hold you.”
“Oh, fuck off Dane!” I yelled, unable to stop myself.
“You don’t want to hold me, not really. Stop all that sensitive, shoulder to cry on shit. I know what you really want to do is punish me for walking away from you, for locking myself in this room, for misbehaving. You don’t want to hold me and tell me things are okay, do you?
You want to show me who’s really in control here. That I’m your prisoner and you’re the captor.”
My voice shook as the words left my mouth.
I didn’t believe them, not really.
But like Dane was testing me, I was testing him now.
A low laugh rippled through the air. “You got me there, baby. I live for the punishment. I live for the control.”
For a beat, there was only silence.
Then he said, “I don’t think you believe that, Belle.”
“What do you know about what I believe, Dane?”
From beyond the door, I could feel him watching me.
“I know a lot more than you’d like to believe, Belle,” he laughed.
It was the type of laugh that sent shivers down my spine.
“Like the fact that you tell yourself I want unquestionable control or pure obedience, but I think you know that isn’t true. I think you’re just telling yourself that in order to dissociate. And let me be the first to tell you, Belle, that it won’t work. I’ve already seen how you feel about me.”
“No you haven’t,” I argued, but the words felt false on my lips.
“I have,” he corrected, simply. “In the way you moan my name. In the way your body relaxes when I fuck it. In the way you’ve let your guard down and begun to trust me. And you’re trying to convince yourself that it’s wrong—all of it, that you shouldn’t have the feelings you have,
and that this is all temporary. But we both know it’s a lie, a carefully constructed lie.”
I let out a breath, letting a laugh slip out of my mouth. “You think you’re right about everything, don’t you?”
A chuckle slipped from his mouth. “Well, I know I’m not wrong.”
And I could picture him now, leaned against the door with that fucking cocky smirk on his lips because he knew—he knew that he got me there.