36. Lucian
36
LUCIAN
I t’s agony, being this close to her again. I can’t stop myself. All the walls I put up are crumbling down around me. My determination to keep her at an arm’s length is in shambles. I can’t think straight when I’m around her, and after a week without the pleasure of her perfect body beneath me, I didn’t stand a chance.
Seeing her there, practically naked in our dining room, did something to me. For one earth-shattering second, she looked so incredibly vulnerable . As if it wasn’t just her body she was putting on full display for me. If it’s my attention she wanted, she knew exactly how to get it. I’m helpless against her beauty—a slave to her pleasure when she says she wants me.
And with her trapped beneath me now, her skimpy lingerie the only thing separating us, I want to make love to her more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life. I can’t stop this horrible aching sense of premonition that this might be the last chance I ever get. And while I’ve spent days trying to pull back, to protect myself so it won’t hurt as badly when she goes, I know I’ll always regret it if I can’t have her this one last time.
She’s so perfectly sensual, so provocatively willing as she lies beneath me, her breasts pressing against my chest with each ragged intake of breath, and her blue eyes beg me to fuck her. But I lost my ability to do that after our first night in Positano. My feelings for her go so far beyond the physical, that making love to her is all I have. And if this is our last time together, I want it to be a night she remembers for the rest of her life.
Trailing kisses down her sternum, I make my way to her full, perfect breasts. It makes my heart twist to see they’re fuller now, spilling over the tops of her cups. I kiss across the beautiful swells. Then I run my tongue between the crevasse they make.
Tatiana gasps, her back arching. I take advantage of the movement, slipping my hand beneath her to stealthily unhook her bra. She sighs, as if grateful to be free of the constraint, and my stomach knots at the second reminder that her body is changing but she doesn’t want to do anything to tip me off to the fact.
A deep melancholy settles in the pit of my stomach, and it’s almost enough to dampen my arousal. But then Tatiana’s body ripples beneath me, her hips rolling up against mine.
“Please, Lucian,” she whimpers. “Don’t tease me. I need you so badly it hurts.”
The breathless desire in her tone makes my cock throb, and I finish the job of removing her bra, tossing it to the floor. Then I lean in to take one nipple between my lips as I palm her other breast. Tatiana gasps, her back arching again as she presses her soft flesh more firmly against my mouth. Her legs quiver, her hips rolling as if of their own accord, and as I continue to suck her taut nub, I let my hand roam down her body, my palm moving lightly across her abdomen and the garter belt there until I find the top of her panties.
I slide my hand inside, and Tatiana moans as my fingertips brush her clit.
“You’re soaking wet,” I groan against her breast, my cock rock-hard with anticipation now.
“Mm-hmm,” she whimpers.
Sliding my hand further into her panties, I run my fingers through her slick folds to her entrance, and I press two fingers inside. Tatiana gasps, her hips rocking upward until my hand is pinned between us, and she grinds against my palm. And as I suck her nipple more firmly between my lips, biting down gently on it, Tatiana cries out.
Fresh arousal coats my fingers as her pussy clamps down around them, her clit fluttering against my palm. Christ, after a week without sex, she’s so wound up it took absolutely nothing to make her come. Heat surges through my body at the realization, and I work my fingers in and out of her depths to draw out her orgasm.
Tatiana pants, her body writhing beneath me as she rides out her first wave of euphoria. And when I finally withdraw my hand from her panties, her eyes are glazed with satisfaction. Bringing my wet fingers to my mouth, I hold her eyes as I suck them clean of her tangy juices. Then I reach down to snap the garter holding her stockings up.
She gasps, her lips parting and her cheeks flushing with fresh excitement.
“I want to leave these on, so you better tell me now if you want me to keep these panties intact,” I growl, running my palm over her hot sex.
“I can buy more,” she breathes.
With a wicked grin, I hook my fingers around the flimsy triangle of fabric and yank. Tatiana squeals, her hips jerking forward before the sound tapers into a lascivious moan.
“You like it when I tear your panties off you?” I tease, running my fingers more freely through her slick folds.
“Yes,” she gasps. “I love everything about the way you touch me. Please, don’t stop.”
It’s the most satisfying and painful thing she’s ever said to me—knowing that this is the only thing I can do right in her world. At least I know that this was true.
“Say you want me,” I command, but my voice sounds almost imploring. What I really want to hear is that she loves me, but I know I can’t ask that of her. It would be a lie if I had to force it from her, and I won’t do that. Ever.
“I want you, Lucian,” she moans. “Please. I need you so badly.”
Her hands roam over my chest, soft and inviting as they curl around the back of my neck. Her fingers comb into my hair, pulling me up toward her lips until our bodies are perfectly aligned. And when I lean in to kiss her, she’s practically ravenous. Her lips seal against mine, her tongue stroking between my teeth.
My cock throbs, the head twitching into alignment with her hot wet entrance without me even trying, and before I can think to take it slow, to draw this out as long as I possibly can, I press inside her.
Tatiana’s cry of pleasure rushes down my throat, her body spasming around me, almost as if she’s coming a second time—just from having me inside her. She pants, her breasts pressing against my chest as her walls ripple around my cock, and I groan as I realize she is coming for a second time.
It feels as if her body has been thrown into overdrive. Her need and her pleasure are so intense, she’s reaching climax without any effort. I don’t think I’ve ever been more turned on in my life. I ease slowly out of Tatiana before entering her again, one inch at a time. She whimpers, her fingers tightening in my hair as I deepen the kiss.
Every movement between us creates an intense friction. The heat of her skin seeping into mine, the tickle of her hard nipples across my pecs. I can smell her intoxicating honey and lavender, and for the first time, I wonder if she smells like that after taking a bath. The thought of her wet and naked, soaking in a tub makes me ache with regret for not joining her.
I don’t know what I was thinking, pulling away from her this past week. If I have to let her go, then I should have been soaking up every last minute with her I could get. I don’t mind admitting that I’m a selfish man when it comes to Tatiana. I want all of her—anything she’s willing to give me. I only wish I could be what she wants in return.
But if this is it, if all she needs me for is pleasure, then I intend to make her scream my name again before we’re done.
I keep the pace slow and sensual, and though I know I’m going to pay for it when she’s gone, I savor every moment of her pleasure, the way she trembles beneath me, her shuddering breaths that wash across my face anytime I let her come up for air.
I rock inside her, pressing deep into her depths. The tingling pleasure of filling her so completely, of owning every aspect of her pleasure, makes my cock achingly hard. With each deep thrust, Tatiana moans, the sound sensual and so natural, I’m not sure she even knows she’s doing it. She’s just so soft and warm and feminine when she melts in my arms.
Her blue eyes are bewitching as they meet mine with inscrutable emotion.
“Come for me, tesoro ,” I murmur, leaning in to reclaim her lips as I palm her breast, rolling her nipple between my fingers.
She moans, the sound building as I feel her tightening around my thick girth, and it’s driving me over the edge.
“Oh God, Lucian!” she cries against my lips. And like the perfect lover she is, Tatiana falls apart around me once again. I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to let her go after this. When our bodies are entwined, it’s like the world just falls away around us. All that matters is here and now. If only now could last forever.
Heat surges through my body, my veins lighting on fire as the tension at the base of my spine snaps. Tatiana milks my cock relentlessly, and as I find my release with her, hot cum floods her pussy. I rock inside her, forcing my seed deeper inside her—even though she’s already carrying my child. But it feels so damn good to claim her body. To own every part of her, if just for this moment.
We breathe heavily together as I pause, buried deep in her depths. Tatiana collapses back against the sheets as if spent, her cheeks flushed and her eyes soft with contentment. Slowly, I lean in to steal one last kiss. Then I force myself to pull out of her.
Every instinct in my body screams for me to lie down with her. To pull her into my arms and hold her close. But if I do, I might never let her go. So instead, I shift off the bed and head to my dresser. I pull out a pair of joggers for me and toss an oversized T-shirt to Tatiana.
“Are you going somewhere?” she asks, her voice trembling slightly, and it makes me pause.
Sinking onto the edge of the bed beside her, I release a heavy sigh as she pulls my shirt on and drags her thick locks out from the back of the collar to cascade over her shoulder.
“I can’t do this anymore, Tatiana,” I say, feeling the words crushing down on my chest as they leave my mouth.
“Can’t do…what?” she asks, her expression suddenly so painfully vulnerable it breaks my heart.
“I can’t ask you to stay in this marriage any longer. I forced it upon you. I demanded that you be my wife to save your sister’s life, and then hoped that you would find a way to love me. It was wrong. I was wrong. And I want to let you out of the contract. I promise I’ll leave you in peace.” It kills me to say the words out loud, but I know that I can’t keep her trapped indefinitely in the hell of living with me.
I’ll try to make co-parenting as amicable as possible because the one thing I can’t give up is custody of my baby. But I won’t force Tatiana to stay with me any longer. It’s not fair to her. It’s not fair to us. How could I ever expect her to be happy in a marriage she never wanted?
I shake my head and let it hang as I stare down at my clenched fists. “We can get an annulment if that would make you happy,” I rasp. The words taste like poison as they leave my lips, and as soon as I say them, I want to take them back. But I can’t. I know this is the right thing to do. So I’ll just have to live with it.
“You make it sound so easy,” she says softly.
I frown, turning my head to look at her, and my stomach flip-flops to see the soft curve of her lips. Her eyes are brimming with tears. Tears of relief? Tears of joy? The knife in my gut twists mercilessly at the thought that she could be just that grateful to get away from me.
“But it would be a lot easier to agree to an annulment if I weren’t in love with you.”
I sit dumbly, confident I must have heard her wrong because she can’t possibly have just said what I think she said.
“Lucian, I have to tell you something—something I should have told you before. But I was scared. I didn’t know how to tell you when I couldn’t find it in me to set aside my pride and recognize my feelings for you.”
Her words are like a healing elixir, and still, I can’t quite believe she’s actually saying them. I feel like I must be in some kind of dream, but before I can wake up, she continues.
“I’m pregnant,” she breathes. “We’re going to have a baby.”
Her tears overflow now, spilling down her cheeks, and my heart feels like it might burst as she says the words I’ve been dying to hear since the doctor told me she was expecting.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” she whispers.
“How long have you known?” That question has been burning inside of me, torturing me with the thought that she’s been sitting on such a massive secret for so long.
“A few weeks? I’m not sure exactly…”
“I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. You’re telling me now.” And as I pull her into my arms, I realize it really doesn’t matter at all. I’m just so damn grateful she actually told me. It means she doesn’t hate me anymore, and relief surges through me as I realize it also means she’s not getting ready to run. I kiss her fiercely, as I hold her close, cradling her in my arms.
Then I pull back abruptly.
“Wait, did you just say you love me?”
Tatiana laughs, the sound carefree and light. “I don’t just love you, Lucian Agosti. It might have taken me a long time to realize it, but you’re the only man I could ever want. And if you still want me, I would like to give this whole marriage a real shot this time around.”
A joy I’ve never known before floods my body with warmth, and I lean in to capture her lips once more. “I’ll want you until the day I die,” I promise.