2. Callie
Chapter two
“Any luck with the job hunt yet?” Liv asks as I pull apart the lemon curd beignet she just placed in front of me.
I’m so glad my brother decided to befriend a pastry chef.
He wingmanned me the perfect new best friend, which is no small feat when you decide to move from a small town to the big city, especially at the ripe age of twenty-three and impending solo motherhood.
Making friends is hard enough as an adult, even more so when you’re in such a transitional period of your life.
It’s in those times that you appreciate the people who have your back.
Before moving to Heart City, I could count them on one hand with room to spare.
“Not yet.” I sigh, licking icing sugar off my fingers. Oh, goddamn, she even mixed this with a hint of lemon zest. Best. Friend. Ever. “I’ve applied for a few different things online, so hopefully I’ll hear back from someone this week.”
“I’m sure you will,” she says, picking up one of the trays of cupcakes lined up on her bench and sliding it into the oven behind her. “Admin experience is always needed in so many fields.”
I moved to the city a few months into my pregnancy, while trying to imagine what my life would look like as a single parent.
I knew from the second that test came back positive I’d be doing it alone.
I’d already split with my ex when he got picked up for drug possession.
I went to see him in prison to share the news as a courtesy, fully prepared to offer the option that I accept sole custody with no financial expectations from him should he choose. He chose in favour.
I grew up with a father who was in and out of our lives.
I saw what it did to my mother. I wouldn’t let the same thing happen to me and my baby.
Luckily, I grew up with a brother who always looked out for me, and about six years ago, Caspian and I found out about our half-brother, Westley.
Another child our father wanted nothing to do with.
West is ten years older than me, but it took him no time at all to develop the same protectiveness Cas always had.
When I told my brothers I wanted to relocate to the city, West gave me a room and lined up a temp job at the construction company where he works.
One of their admin staff was going on an extended vacation to Europe.
It worked out perfectly that I could cover her while she was away, and earn some extra cash while I finished out the rest of my pregnancy.
But then she came back, and I had my daughter.
Navie is four months old now, and whilst I’m not ready to go back to work, my maternity leave payments have just about come to an end.
It doesn’t help that the savings I’d been diligently working to accumulate for the last five years were cleared out by my ex before we split.
Not only did he rob me of that sense of comfort, but more time with my daughter before returning to work.
That pressure grew tenfold when I realised I didn’t want to keep putting off the legalities of splitting our parental rights.
I want Derek out of our lives for good. As Navie grows older, I’ll tell her anything she wants to know about her dad and leave the decision to her if she wants to seek him out, but I don’t want Derek to have the opportunity to pick and choose when he shows up.
He already decided he didn’t want anything to do with us.
I won’t have my daughter grow up with a dad like mine.
Yes, I could have just left his name off the birth certificate.
I could have not told him I was pregnant.
But that didn’t seem fair to my child, taking away the opportunity for a father to be present in their life if he wanted to be.
The fact that he didn’t, the history of our tumultuous relationship, and that my own father showed me what a flighty parent felt like, made me want to do things more officially, to protect everyone.
I had to wait until Navie was born before anything could get started.
I’ve spent the last few months enjoying new motherhood, but now reality is starting to hit.
Hard and fast. Not only will my legal bills pile up, but my mother has entered another depressive state—typical when my dad’s out of town for too long.
She starts calling in sick to work, and Cas and I are left to cover the bills.
Thankfully, she lives in our grandmother’s house, so no rent or mortgage repayments to worry about. But you still gotta keep the lights on.
I look down at Navie, tucked against my chest in her carrier, sleeping peacefully. A smile takes over me, as it always does when I look at my daughter. I lean in to press a kiss on top of her head pausing when I notice I’ve dropped some pastry in her hair. Totally nailing this mother thing.
I brush the flakes away, then give her a quick kiss. “I should get out of your hair so you can work,” I say, hopping off my seat. I grab my bag in one hand and my half-eaten beignet in the other. “I want to grab a few things from the hardware store before this one wakes up and needs another feed.”
“No worries, babe. I’ll see you tomorrow night,” she says.
My brother insisted I have a girls’ night out with Liv and his new girlfriend, Maevyn.
He wanted me to have some adult time where I’m just Callie, not Mum, and he figured tempting those two was the best way to get me to agree.
He was right. Thankfully, Navie is a super chill baby, always happy to spend time with her uncle for a few hours, and I could use a cocktail or two to forget about the fact that I currently have no job and no real direction in life.
Something about the city just makes me feel pressured to have my shit together.
I miss my small-town flow. But I had to get out.
Watching my mother struggle in a cycle where Dad was here sometimes but gone more often.
He works on an offshore oil rig, so he’s away for long periods of time.
The company’s main base is in the city, which means Dad has to drive almost an hour to get back to Trevally Falls when he’s back on land.
Mum’s suggested so many times over the years that they move, and he’s always shut her down, claiming he doesn’t want to live in the city, yet he barely makes time to be home.
It’s never sat right with me. Call me crazy, and maybe I watched too many soap operas growing up, but I’m convinced he has another life here.
I’ve never been able to prove it, but I just don’t get why you wouldn’t want to spend more time with your family.
That alone is what terrified me into finally calling it quits with my ex.
We always fought. We were on and off from the age of sixteen to twenty-two, but in the later years, I could recognise the same flippant attention in Derek that my dad always gave Mum.
I felt myself getting stuck. I didn’t have big dreams of leaving my small town, but I had dreams of a big love. One day.
I’m not looking for love again right now. I’m perfectly happy with it just being me and Naves, but I’m not losing hope that the perfect guy is out there. Someone who wants to be around, who picks me every day. Picks us.
“I’ll be the one in control-top briefs and sensible shoes,” I say, rounding the bench and pressing a kiss to Liv’s cheek as she laughs.
“Hey, that’s what I was going to wear.”
I wink at her before heading out of the kitchen and back through the main floor of her bakery, Sweet Escape. It reminds me a lot of something you’d find in a small town; it’s light and airy, with pastel-blue walls and little mason jars filled with daisies on every table.
When I step outside, there are people everywhere.
I’ve come to learn that Main Street is the hub for Heart City treasures.
It’s full of antique stores, fresh market flowers, and cool jazz bars.
The whole street is lined with jacaranda trees, just starting to show their vivid purple flowers as we move further into spring.
I glance over the street to Parlour Tricks, the beauty salon where my brother’s girlfriend works. There’s a sign in the window next door that reads ‘Pole Tricks – Coming Soon’, where Maevyn’s pole dance studio will be.
I smile, happy that Maevyn is going after something she’s so passionate about.
I’ve heard that once you’re a mum, it’s hard to carve out time for yourself and try to keep a little piece of the person you were before.
With every spare minute of my pregnancy and in the months since Navie was born, I’ve dedicated my time to trying new hobbies and learning skills that every woman should know.
I didn’t want to wake up one day and not only realise I was too dependent on another person, but that I didn’t even know what kind of person I really was.
Caspian showed me how to change a tyre and jumpstart a car. Westley taught me some self-defence moves, and I took a first-aid course a few weeks ago.
In terms of the more creative stuff, Maevyn’s daughter, Aurora, has attempted to teach me how to crochet—I suck.
I tried pottery—it’s not as hot when you don’t have Patrick Swayze guiding you.
There was a paint-and-sip event at the bar a few doors up from Liv’s bakery that we went to together, and that was really fun, so I figured I’d give painting more of a go.
I liked picking the colours, but a blank canvas was way too intimidating.
That’s how I eventually stumbled across this cute hardware store.
“Hey, Jerry,” I call with a wave to the owner as I pass through the doors.
“Morning, Callie,” he smiles. “Ahhh, you’ve got your assistant today.”
“Yeah.” I drop a quick kiss on Navie’s head. “Between you and me, I’m not sure how long she’ll last. She’s always sleeping on the job.”
Jerry chuckles as I make my way through the store to the back corner, where he has pieces of old furniture. There are photo frames, window shutters, antique doors, and chests.
When I first came across this place, I was just looking for paint, but the front window display intrigued me.
There was an old chaise lounge that had been reupholstered with bright, whimsical fabric and gold button tufting.
The timber frame had been sanded back and painted in a bold magenta.
A sign in the display advertised a class that taught the basics of repurposing and upcycling.
I figured why not, and at the end of my first class, I went home with an old jewellery box, revived in pale pink, with antique earrings as drawer knobs, and a hunger for more.
Last week, I turned an old dressing table mirror into a mantle. This week, I have my eyes set on an old French door that I can turn into my new headboard. I just have to hope Jerry has one that fits the vision in my mind.
I sift through the discarded pieces, wondering where they came from, what life they had before they ended up in Jerry’s store and were deemed unwanted. Just waiting for someone to come along and see they still have potential before they’re simply tossed aside.
There’s an edge of guilt with every door I move through as I decide it’s not the one I’m looking for.
The juxtaposition of how often the act imitates life is not lost on me.
How often do we let people decide our worth, yet we continue to dress up and adjust ourselves for their judgment and approval, as if they have some kind of power over our self-worth?
My finger skims over a particularly drab-looking number, and I hiss when a splinter pierces my skin.
I brush the splinter away, sucking the wound as I frown at the culprit of my discomfort.
It’s kinda close to the design I had in mind; the top half has three rows of three windowpanes, with the lower half in solid wood.
It’s a Dutch door, so it’s split in the middle, with each half locking into place or opening fully.
I had wanted something that had rows of glass taking up the full length so I could convert them into photo frames, but as I stare down at my prickly offender, I assess it with a more open eye.
I untie the swing tag on the handle and take it to Jerry.
“I still gotta look at the paint, but I’m gonna grab this one,” I say, placing the tag on the counter.
“Sure thing, sweetheart.” Jerry nods. “I’ll get it off the rack for you.”
I scan the colour swatches. I was going to go with something neutral, but now I think I want something a little more daring.
I might come to regret it later, but what the hell.
My eyes fall over every shade of orange, to yellow, to green, before moving onto a sea of blue.
I stop when I find a smoky shade of navy.
It’s both bold and conservative. Bright and reserved.
I pull the card from the display and read the name. True Self.
I chuckle to myself as I look down at my daughter, still happily sleeping in the carrier against my chest. The colour represents everything I want for her: to move through life knowing who deserves your trust and loyalty, saving your true spirit for only those who deserve it, and hoping it’s more people than I ever had.
I don’t want her to live a life where she feels she has to hold herself back.
I want her to be brave enough to chase the risks, but she won’t have a hope of knowing how if I don’t show her first.
I moved from Trevally Falls for something new. To live a life full of excitement and belonging. It’s time to do the damn thing.