Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Adalyn darted a glance at Jaxon from the corner of her eye.
His cockiness had leached away, giving him a softer look.
He sat at Jaclyn’s level, watching with a smile as she dragged toys out of the bins in the corner.
She brought him her fuzzy yellow duck and a handful of other toys, depositing the gifts at his feet.
She grinned and picked up a toy phone. “This is her favorite. She doesn’t talk much yet, but she loves to pretend.”
Holding the phone to her ear, she carried on an imaginary conversation with the peppy mechanical voice on the other end. Jaclyn held her hand out, fingers grasping for the device, and she passed it to her.
Jaxon was quiet for several minutes, just watching their daughter before he finally turned to her. “I’m really angry with you, Adalyn.”
Her cheeks burned, and she dropped her gaze to the floor so he wouldn’t see the tears burning her eyes.
She’d regretted not telling him—really, she had.
He’d never truly believe that, though. And she deserved his scorn.
Although she’d tried to contact him a couple of times, it wasn’t enough.
She should have tried harder, should have made it a point to tell him he had a daughter. It was the absolute least he deserved.
“I’m sorry.”
He must have heard the remorse in her voice because he cleared his throat as if to swallow down whatever retort had sprung to the tip of his tongue. It was another long moment before he spoke. “I feel like an ass for having to ask, but… what’s her name?”
Shock and surprise jolted through her, but she immediately schooled her features. It was her own fault, after all, that he didn’t know. She smiled softly, attempting to set him at ease. “Jaclyn Lorraine.”
He turned a startled gaze on her, and she just shrugged in response. “It seemed to fit.”
He nodded slowly, testing the name on his tongue. “Jaclyn. Jaxon and Adalyn. Makes sense.”
She dipped her chin in acknowledgment. “She’s ours. Both of us.” She felt the weight of his gaze but couldn’t bring herself to meet his stare.
“That she is.” He paused. “Why Lorraine? It’s not exactly a common name.”
She bit her lip. Did she dare tell him the truth?
Once she’d found out she was pregnant, she’d wanted to incorporate him into Jaclyn’s life, even if not physically.
She’d been intensely curious about the man she’d married and had done hours of research trying to dig up his past—where he’d come from, what his parents had been like.
She’d found an article detailing his parents’ deaths on a mission trip to Africa almost two decades ago now, and she’d felt a strong urge to link their daughter to them.
She wanted Jaclyn to know about her grandparents and what good people they’d been—though she personally had never met them—and she’d decided that Jaxon’s mother’s name was perfect.
She lifted one shoulder. “I came across it online.”
He raised a brow but didn’t say a word, and he turned his attention back to Jaclyn. His words soon cut through the silence. “I stormed out yesterday, so we didn’t have much time to discuss anything like I’d originally planned.”
She stiffened at the statement, unsure as to where he was going, and she responded cautiously. “We can talk now if you’d like.”
Seeming almost hesitant, he withdrew a sheaf of papers from his back pocket and handed them over. Before her fingers even touched the heavy envelope, she knew what it was. Jaxon cleared his throat, avoiding her.
She ran a fingertip over the edge of the envelope. “Have you signed yet?”
“Not yet.” He shook his head, then turned to face her. “I have a proposition for you.”
Her breath caught in her throat and her heart skipped a beat as his intense gaze captured hers. God, when he looked at her like that, it was as if time had slipped away. She remembered how charming and funny he’d been the night they first met.
“I’ll give you what you want if you give me what I want.”
She sat frozen, digesting his words, trying to shake off the memory. What did that mean?
As if reading her mind, he continued, “I’ll grant you the annulment if you still want it. But I want time with Jaclyn.”
Her vision turned hazy and her heart raced, her entire body going completely lax.
Thank God she was sitting; otherwise, she probably would’ve collapsed in a very undignified heap on the floor.
Her mind couldn’t quite comprehend what he was saying.
Did he want custody? Of course he would.
He had every right to her, she knew he did, but…
How could she give up her little girl, even for a few days here and there?
She’d been the only person in Jaclyn’s life for the past eleven months, not including, of course, Wendy and the ladies from the salon who watched her now and then.
She’d rocked her to sleep, comforted her when she cried, held her hand as she’d learned to stand and then walk.
Before she even realized what she was doing, she found herself shaking her head. “I…”
Jaxon’s eyes turned cold. “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, Adalyn. You won’t keep my daughter from me anymore.”
She pressed a hand to her chest, her lungs and heart aching so badly that it hurt to breathe. She finally forced words up and out of her throat. “I just… She’s my baby—”
“Don’t give me that,” he hissed. He pointed at the little girl playing with a stuffed lamb. “Do you even understand how I feel? Do you know what you’ve taken from me? You’ve deprived me of a year, Adalyn. A whole year of my daughter’s life. I missed everything.”
His voice got louder and louder, and she stretched out a hand, laying it on his arm. “Please, keep your voice down.”
Jaclyn turned, as if sensing the discord between them. She climbed to her feet and toddled toward them. It was like a knife to her heart to see her baby girl head straight for Jaxon, and hot tears clouded her eyes.
Jaxon’s attention was fixed firmly on her. “I want to spend time with her; I want to be involved.”
“Jaxon…”
“No, Adalyn.” Fury filled his eyes and he jumped to his feet. “She’s my daughter too and—”
His words were drowned out by the high-pitched cry that split the air as Jaclyn burst into tears. Throwing herself into Adalyn’s arms, she turned her face into her shoulder, sobs wracking her tiny body.
A mixture of horror and guilt flooded his expression, and Jaxon reached out to soothe her. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”
Jaclyn peered up at him but flinched, looking away again with a whimper as he reached out and gently stroked her back.
“Shh.” She shushed Jaclyn, rubbing a hand over her back in soothing circles. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Jaxon…” Her gaze darted to him, and she bit her lip before correcting herself. “Daddy didn’t mean to yell.”
He stiffened at the word, every line of his body going completely taut.
“I’m sorry.” She shot him an apologetic look as he dropped his arm to his side. “She’s not used to men. Maybe we should table this discussion for another day.”
After what seemed like a long internal debate, he finally relented. “Fine,” he snapped. “I’ll be back tomorrow.”
She held Jaclyn close and allowed her tears to finally break free as the door slammed behind him. Maybe this time he’d stay away for good. As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she regretted it.
“Mama’s here, baby,” she crooned to Jaclyn. “I’ll always be here for you.”
As she held her baby close, she realized it was the only certainty in life. Regardless of what happened with Jaxon, she wouldn’t let anyone disappoint them—and she especially wouldn’t let anyone hurt Jaclyn. It was her and Jaclyn against the world. And she was just fine with that.