Chapter 1 #2
I stepped into the room, walking over to an overstuffed chair near his bed. “Didn’t…answer…” I pointed to myself instead of finishing my sentence.
“Goddamn it, Elizabeth. Answer me!” he shouted, uncrossing his arms and smacking them against the mattress.
“What do…you—“
“Where the fuck are they?” he roared, interrupting me.
There was a knock on the door, and the nurse’s aide stuck her head into the opening. “Is everything all right in here? I heard you down the hall.”
“Fine,” I lied with a smile.
“Not fine,” Gerry gritted through his teeth. “Can you call my children and tell them I’m dying? They probably wouldn’t even give a shit if I were gone. They’re too busy pretending the club is their family.”
“You’re still talking, sir. I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure that means you’re not knocking at the pearly gates soon. If you need anything, please hit the button, and someone will come check on you.” She gave me a smile, and with a wave, she shut the door.
I sighed. “Be…nice,” I murmured.
“What has being nice ever gotten me?” he spat, waving his arms around.
“Where has it gotten you?” Suddenly, all of his movement stopped, and he lowered his tone.
“A spinster. That’s where it got you. I refuse to die alone when I’ve sacrificed everything to give my girls the best. They can’t even come visit a sick, old man.
” The robe slid back, and his bandaged arm was on display.
“That’s a…lie. You…you—not…heal… Follow…orders.” I tapped my heel against the linoleum floor, instantly hating the sound.
“I should just go home to rot,” he said before launching into another diatribe. “My girls don’t care. More like they’re afraid to go against the bikers. I’ve never met my grandson…” he continued. “Meredith stole some baby. I’m not even sure what that’s about.”
The edges of the room curled in, and my heart raced. “St…op,” I whispered, but Gerry didn’t.
The black swarmed in. My grip on the chair faded, and I had no sense of the room. I couldn’t see anything, caught somewhere between my mind and my memory.
“Lizzie.” Her voice broke through the isolation. I couldn’t see her, but I knew she was standing next to me in my parents’ home, washing dishes. Madalyn.
“He’s not a bad guy,” she said, and I instantly knew she was responding to when I’d asked her why she was marrying Gerry. It hadn’t been a healthy relationship in my eyes, and I had thought Mads could have done much better. “He makes me laugh, and we have a lot in common.”
The darkness slowly receded, but I didn’t know how long I’d been out. My heart hammered against my chest as I reminded myself to take deep, calming breaths. They didn’t work. Madalyn was still gone, and Gerry had never taken a breath.
My head swiveled, desperately looking for something to ground me as I tuned out Gerry’s outburst. The white-walled room with the cheesy landscape paintings came into focus.
It was all still here. The brown bedspread Gerry insisted on pulling up to his waist, no matter how hot it was.
The fake flowers next to the whiteboard with his nurse’s information.
“I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. You’re not even paying attention.” He kicked at the blankets, setting off the alarm on the bed. It beeped incessantly until the aide came running. She didn’t even bother to scold him. It was easier to ignore his tantrums.
I took a deep breath. “Sabre…pays. They have…prospect out…side.” I crossed my arms over my chest, holding myself together. “Never…speak…badly.”
“If Madalyn were alive, they would never have ended up in that bar. Meredith would have married Brandon, and Grace would be at home with Matt, where she belongs.”
“I tell them…not to…come. You act…this.” If I yelled like he did, it wouldn’t get my point across. “You want…sti…sti…” I sighed. “Not happy.” My eyes lowered to the floor, not in cowardice, but in defiance.
I placed my purse strap on my shoulder, but when I went to stand, my heel clicked on the floor as the hip brace pulled tight against the fabric of my dress slacks. Heels—with a hip brace.
I’m sacrificing my life to keep the peace, and he hasn’t done the same for me. Thunder’s right. Enough is enough.
Standing, I walked to the doorway and stopped, feeling as though it was going to be the last time. Gerry would never understand his mistakes, and while he lived in a world where he wouldn’t accept his faults, I refused to live with regrets.
My hand reached for the door handle, but I paused. “I’ll be back…when you’re…better,” I whispered, sadness settling over me.
I reached out for the door handle again, but a sliver of light caught my attention.
The facility provided its long-term residents a dresser that sat underneath the TV. On top of Gerry’s was a man’s fancy dress watch.
I smelled hints of his cologne.
No, not like this.
Taking a step back, I remembered the night I’d given it to him.
I’d set the dining room table with my mother’s candlesticks, the ones she only used for special occasions.
The watch box had been at the top of his plate, and I’d had “You’re going to be the best daddy” engraved behind the face. It was pretty self-explanatory.
He had said nothing, and I kept quiet, sneaking peeks at him.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized, thinking it would snap him out of whatever this was.
“How could you?” He didn’t look at me as he stood from his chair, walking out the front door.
El Sombra Roja. The most dangerous man south of the border had stood in this room. He’d left the watch as a message for me. I might not have been his priority right now, but eventually, he’d come. This time, I wouldn’t be the same woman he’d left behind.