Chapter 8
I Approve
Elizabeth
I stood still, frozen in the past. I was present physically, but my mind was replaying every conversation, every token or gesture from Alex. He was here. Watching. Waiting for the most opportune time to make himself known, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I didn’t think it surprised anyone that he used Gerry for an arranged marriage over twenty-five years later.
Gerry had a history of being easily manipulated, and Alex was used to getting his way, no matter the cost. They hadn’t thought about how any of this would affect me.
They’d probably been more concerned about getting me to comply. I would never have agreed to the terms.
The last time I’d seen Alex, he’d been holding our son, looking out the window into the hospital’s parking lot.
If I had known Peter was going to lose his innocence and become a bitter man, I would have killed Alex myself.
He’d stolen my child, breaking my soul into a million pieces.
I’d masked the pain well enough to survive.
I hadn’t recognized my son when Peter had shown up almost a year ago.
He was so angry, he’d kidnapped Meredith and me, forcing us to jump from a moving vehicle.
She wore road rash scars, and every time I tried to speak, you could hear the damage from the traumatic brain injury.
It was hard to forgive him, but I kept telling myself it had all been Alex’s doing.
The clubhouse had been in a frenzy ever since the brothers had stood outside, watching Gerry’s disgrace.
They’d done nothing but talk about it for hours until suddenly the noise finally died down and a quiet settled.
I used it to steady myself. The long silences had allowed me to pretend I was fine the last three days.
I wasn’t fine, and if someone asked me, I couldn’t mask the emotions.
If they wanted to talk about the wedding, I quickly pointed them to Grace or Meredith as my vision narrowed, the black creeping over my eyes. No one would know how haunted I was.
When Thunder had proposed, I instantly said yes.
Neither one of us believed he was saving me.
A ring wouldn’t stop Alex if he was hell-bent on an arranged marriage, but Thunder could force the club to protect me as his Old Lady.
He was a patched-in brother of the Iron Shield, and although the club had taken me in, I didn’t have any standing.
I understood the club’s politics. I’d experienced it secondhand when they hadn’t accepted Meredith until recently.
This went deeper for me. Protection was one thing, but I finally had someone strong enough in my corner to let me break safely.
I wouldn’t be alone, and my nieces wouldn’t have that responsibility saddled upon them.
Calm was my new state. No one would see my pain as it settled into my bones.
I clasped my hands, resting them in my lap. It was easier to hide the shaking from my nieces. Their strength wasn’t for me to lean on when they needed me to be strong for them. Meredith sat on my left and Grace was on my right as we stared straight ahead, not saying a word.
“I’ve tried to be supportive, but I don’t understand why you’re doing this.
” Grace was the first to speak. “There has to be a better option besides marrying Thunder.” After the last blood pressure scare, I tried to leave her in the dark as much as possible.
I wouldn’t be the reason something happened to her or the baby.
“Friends,” I muttered. “Club…protection.” It was the only answer that wouldn’t send me into a tailspin. My nieces also held onto the word, as if it were their lifeline.
“You don’t have to get married to have the club’s—“
“Yes, she does,” Meredith said, shifting. “Only Old Ladies get protection.”
While this was true, I’d said yes to Thunder’s proposal for one simple reason.
I never doubted my family’s support, but they had their own lives, their own families.
Thunder had never given me a reason to doubt him, and I wouldn’t start now.
He’d be the one I could lean on when life got hard, leaving the girls out of it.
Meredith, bless her heart, thought this was about sex. “What if he expects this to be an actual marriage?” Her eyes had grown wide, as if she’d cracked the case. I shook my head, and Grace shot her a look, as if she were crazy.
It wasn’t until Grace had asked about the money that I finally got through to them. Some people showed you who they were from the first moment you met them. Thunder was a good man, and maybe that was why I hadn’t weighed the pros and cons.
Burkhardt wasn’t a common surname, and if Thunder was thinking about it, he might have put two and two together.
I was my father’s sole survivor, and when he passed, I had inherited his real estate empire.
Thunder hadn’t asked, and I hadn’t told him.
We were both established, and it wasn’t important. He wasn’t marrying me for the money.
Alex had floated in and out of my life, with no rhyme or reason.
He had encouraged my hair-brained ideas, calling them cute.
I had thought, for the first time, I had finally had someone who saw me.
I had been dying for a chance to be free, not realizing that he dismissed everything until I fit the perfect mold for him.
It wasn’t fair to compare the two men, but I often thought about the differences.
Alex had told me so many lies that towards the end of our relationship, he couldn’t keep them straight anymore.
Thunder had never hidden information from me.
If he thought I should know, he told me, even if it wasn’t delicate.
He’d never given me reason to question his motives. I wouldn’t start now.
“Friends don’t get married and then run off to hotels for the night,” Meredith deadpanned.
Nothing’s going to happen. Thunder thought we should take a few days away from the club. A vacation, nothing more, but Meredith couldn’t get past that fact, no matter how many times everyone told her.
“If you want to run off to a hotel for the night, go for it. It’ll cost you more in damages, but at least then you’ll stop talking about it.” Grace rolled her eyes, and it was the first time I’d felt like smiling today.
“Damages?” Meredith squeaked, leaning over to see past me to Grace.
“How many times have you flooded the ensuite in Grizz’s room?”
“Good point.” I thought that would be the end, but Meredith shifted to stare at me. “Still, why are you doing this, Auntie? I mean, Dad fucked up, but Emily said they can’t enforce an arranged marriage.”
“Don’t want...alone.” I’d be an awful friend if I constantly took from him, but as his wife, I could easily offer my loyalty for his kindness. He’d never want for anything again.
“You have us.” I turned my head to look at Meredith.
Her brown eyes, so similar to her mother’s, blazed with renewed strength, and I only had Grizz to thank for that.
I wouldn’t have held it against him if he’d walked away, but he’d never let my niece get swallowed up in the darkness.
I unfortunately knew what that experience felt like.
“Not the same.” I rubbed my finger down her nose, bopping the end, as I had done since she was a kid.
Grace sighed. “Do you have to get married, though?”
“Do you have to marry Sabre? You’re already knocked up.
” I’d never doubted Meredith was on my side.
She had to process the idea on her own time.
“I wish Dad hadn’t agreed, but why is this any different for Auntie?
” I squeezed her hand, and when I felt the tug on mine, I knew I wouldn’t get any more fight from her.
There was a knock on my door, and when Grace answered it, Sabre was standing on the other side.
Thunder and I had planned on a courthouse marriage, but when someone had leaked it to my nieces, they’d put together an actual wedding in the club’s backyard. I’d let them run amok, enjoying their quick-witted arguments as they worked together.
Sabre wore a suit, complete with a sports coat, and it made me wonder who had pushed the men to remove their club cuts, at least for the ceremony. Sabre’s arm reached around Grace’s middle, pulling her against him as he kissed her temple. “You don’t look happy,” he said to her.
“Thunder promised her a divorce whenever she wanted it. If she ever asks, A) I expect him to give it to her with no complications, and B) I expect you to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible.”
“Mama, you know I don’t get involved in family matters.” He kissed her temple again. “You look beautiful.”
She instantly moved to curl up against him, and it only made me resolute in my decision. “Is everything going to be alright?” she asked him.
“You know I don’t make you promises I can’t keep, but you’re going to have to accept that this might be the right path, and if it isn’t, that’s between Thunder and Aunt E.” He looked past her to where Meredith and I sat. “It’s time.”
I’d asked Sabre to walk me down the aisle. My father was long gone, and Gerry wasn’t an invited guest. Sabre hadn’t hesitated when he’d said yes, and it was just one more thing in a long list of traits that made me like him more.
Meredith placed her hands on my knees and crouched in front of me. “If you want to run, we can. I know this great bar.”
She smiled, and I couldn’t help the laughter that bubbled to the surface.
“I bet…you do.”
She stood, leaning over to hug me. “I approve.”
I patted her arm, letting her know I appreciated it, even though I was an adult and she didn’t have any say in the matter. She walked over to the bedroom door, shooting Grace a look to get it together.
Grace left the shelter of Sabre’s arms and did the same thing. She crouched in front of me, and I instantly tried to grab her arms to stabilize her. “In a few more months, I won’t be able to do this.” A dry chuckle escaped. “I approve, only because I trust you.”
“Fair. It will…be all right,” I whispered to her, patting her cheek.
Sabre ushered them out the door and down the hallway.
“Is this what you want?” he asked me when we could no longer hear them. “If you say no, I’ll put a stop to this right now.”
I didn’t bother facing him, still staring out into the void. “He’s not…saving me.” I didn’t know if Sabre would understand, but I felt like he might be the most reasonable member of my family. “Don’t w...want to be…alone.”
Sabre made a humming noise, and I patted the seat next to me on the bed Grace had vacated. He humored me, even though we were probably on a time crunch.
“I’m okay. He…didn’t…pressure me.”
“If I thought he had, I would have beaten his ass. I won’t stand in the way of your choice, but I’m not sure if the two of you are doing this for the right reasons.”
“I don’t…know.” I shrugged. “He’s a…good…man.”
“None of us are good men.” Sabre’s smile took up his entire face, and I felt my lips tip up into one of my own.
“I app…rove.”
His brow furrowed as he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.
“You’re a…good man… You didn’t…ask me…Grace.”
“Aw, fuck. You’re the only important person I need approval from.
I didn’t think you would say no, but I wasn’t sure, so I put it off.
Word must have gotten around.” He slid off the bed, kneeling in front of me.
“Aunt E, I’ve had some pretty good examples of love, but it’s more than that.
I promise you, if you approve, I’ll always stand by Grace.
In front of her for protection. Behind her when she’s conquering the world. Until the day death parts us.”
“I...approve.”