Chapter 31
Ainsley
“ F uck, I missed you today,” I sigh before a moan falls from my lips. Cain’s hands are gripping my thighs tight enough that there will be bruises in the shape of his fingers tomorrow, but I don’t care. Not right now.
I never thought I’d say this, but the weekend can’t come fast enough. Being away from Cain all day was torture. I went from being able to touch him whenever I wanted to having to go an entire day without even hearing his voice. Jonah was good company, and I enjoyed being able to spend time with him, but he couldn’t make the emptiness in my heart any better as I waited for tonight to come around.
Hearing him call me little bird brought a smile to my face, though.
“My offer still stands for you to live with me full time,” Cain reminds me. His voice is deep and breathy as he looks at me with heated eyes. The thought of having me at his house full time has always gotten him excited, but he knows I can’t do that.
“We only have to make it through the rest of this semester, and then I’m yours all summer,” I remind him.
The thought of having me all to himself for months makes him pound into me even harder. My body pushes against the door, and I’m sure the girls can hear it. It sounds like we’re about to break the door down with our excitement. I barely made it into the room before Cain slammed the door and pushed me against it. He’s never pulled my clothes off so fast, but we were both ready for it.
“Come for me, baby,” Cain commands me as he picks up the pace, setting an impossible rhythm. I can tell he’s close as he clenches his jaw and tries to hold back. The sight of him so lost in me nearly makes me fall over the edge, but I’m not ready yet. “And while you’re at it, agree to marry me.”
“Not yet,” I answer. I don’t know when I’ll finally say yes, but I know it won’t be here, like this. As hot as this is, I want romance.
“Ainsley,” Cain growls at my response. The sound of my name rolling off his tongue makes me explode without warning. My pussy clenches around him, pulling him deeper inside of me.
“Cain,” I cry out as he keeps pounding into me, not slowing even a little as he rides out my orgasm with me. The sound of his name has the same effect on him as he grunts out his release, sending even more shocks through my body.
“Fuck, baby,” he breathes as he stops moving. When he’s done, he carries me to my bed and lays me down before pulling out of me. His eyes stay trained on me as I feel him leaking out of me. “You look so good with my cum falling out of you.”
Those words falling from his mouth make me want to jump on top of him and go for round two, but we both need to rest. The worst part of this arrangement is that I don’t really get time with Cain through the week. By the time he gets here, I need to go to bed so I won’t be exhausted the next day. We have just enough time for breakfast in the morning, and then we have to go our separate ways.
Despite how hard it is to be away from him, it feels so natural to be lying beside him, getting ready to fall asleep as he pulls me onto his chest to rest.
“By the way, I didn’t have time to tell you this morning, but you did such a good job,” he praises me. I don’t know what the praise is for, but it still sends chills down my spine. I would do almost anything to hear him praise me. “I expected you to fight me so you could ride with Ethan. I’m proud of you for holding back.”
I think back to this morning and how that whole encounter made me feel. They were locked in a battle, with me caught in the middle. I expected Cain to jump up and rip Ethan to shreds when he touched me, and to be honest, I was proud of him for holding back.
“I didn’t like how he tried to upset you,” I tell him honestly. It’s not abnormal for Ethan and I to be affectionate toward one another, but this morning, he did it just to make Cain mad. And when he tried to make Cain feel bad for everything that happened last semester, I nearly pushed him out of my apartment.
“I think I got my point across,” Cain says. I’m not sure if he’s talking about the passionate kiss he gave me, or the talk he had with Ethan outside. Later in the day, I saw Ethan on campus, so I know there were no fists involved this time.
“Put it out of your mind and get some sleep, little one,” Cain instructs me. We both fall silent as we relax for the night, and soon, his breathing gets heavier as he falls asleep.
I can’t move. I can feel the rope tied to each of my limbs, spreading me wide. Staying warm in here is nearly impossible, especially since I can’t huddle in on myself. The fact that I’m only wearing a shirt and underwear doesn’t help, either.
“Ah, she’s awake,” I hear a familiar voice say from somewhere beside me. The voice sends chills down my spine, and not the good kind. I refuse to turn my head and meet his eyes. Instead, I study each of the twenty-seven tiles, remembering exactly how many spots each one had.
I’m back in my prison.
“You made a mistake, child. I could have let you live peacefully, but you just had to go back to him. He could be so much more without you, don’t you see that?”
His words send tears to my eyes. He’s not right. Cain is stronger with me by his side, just like I’m stronger with him. He would be a shell of a person without me.
“I suppose we’ll just have to try this again. Clearly, Carlos wasn’t fit to own you. I should have never trusted him with you, but no matter. I’ve learned from my mistake and now I have a second chance. I have friends in other countries, much more ruthless than that pitiful boy I sent you to last time.”
My body fights to break the ropes. I need to get free, get myself out of here. Does Cain even know I’ve been taken again? How did this happen? I need to save myself before he gets hurt again.
“No, no, no,” I cry as he moves closer to me. I struggle even harder, trying to get away before he touches me, but the ropes are tied too tight. I can’t break free. “No!”
My scream makes me jolt up in bed, where I’m not tied to the posts and I’m covered in a blanket and drenched in sweat. I’m not freezing. There are no ropes digging into my skin. The twenty-seven tiles are gone, but the horror of my dream lingers with me.
“Ainsley?” Cain calls out as he pulls the bathroom door open. He looks like he was half asleep and woke up as suddenly as I did. “Ainsley, what’s wrong?”
He rushes to me and pulls me into his lap as I break down in tears. The nightmares were better. They stopped when Cain came back into my life, which is one of the reasons we decided to spend every night together. Why did this one break through?
“I… had a… nightmare,” I get out between sobs. He holds me close and brushes his fingers through my hair until my sobs grow quieter.
“Was it Carlos again?” he asks. I don’t answer him. If I tell him it was his father haunting me this time, he’ll only feel guilty. His father is still out there, still threatening to tear us apart. “He’s gone, little one. You’re safe, I promise.”
I nod against his chest, knowing his words are true. With him by my side and Jonah watching over me, he can’t get to me. I’m safe.
“I’m sorry, Ainsley. I got up for only a minute, I didn’t think I was gone long enough for you to fall into a nightmare,” Cain tells me, already blaming himself for the turn my night just took.
“No, no, it’s not your fault,” I rush out, trying to keep him from blaming himself. He can’t keep the nightmares away forever. Eventually, I’ll have to face my demons so I can be okay on my own.
He pulls me back into bed and holds me close as we both try to relax again. Eventually, my tears dry, but the adrenaline coursing through my veins refuses to let me fall back to sleep. Cain stays up with me, petting my hair and refusing to go to sleep if I won’t.
When the sun finally rises, we’re both exhausted, and the last thing I want is to be apart from him. Unfortunately, I have classes, and I can’t keep him away from his duties. But, it doesn’t hurt to ask, right?
“Let’s skip responsibilities today and just stay in bed,” I suggest without looking at him. I want him to say yes and agree to just lay here all day, but I also need him to be the responsible one and make me get up. If he doesn’t tell me to, then I won’t.
I miss last semester, when I could come home and take naps in the middle of the day. I don’t really have that this semester, which makes my days long.
Cain’s fingers run through my hair as we sit in silence. I can tell he’s debating if he should agree or not, so I let him stew in his own thoughts while I wait. After about a minute, he lets out a sigh that doesn’t sound very promising.
“I would love nothing more, little one, but I have an important meeting I can’t miss today,” he tells me with regret filling his tone. With my hand still on his chest, I prop my head up so I’m resting on my chin and looking at him questioningly. He interprets my gaze without needing me to say anything. “It’s a potential new business partner, that’s all you need to know.”
Despite how deep I am into all of this with him, he still feels the need to keep me in the dark about what actually happens within his organization. It’s his way of ensuring I stay safe, especially after what happened last time he brought me into his world, but I want more.
I want to be his partner.
His equal.
The queen he promised to make me.
That won’t happen if he’s more worried about keeping me safe than keeping me informed. Since he’s not going to budge on details of this meeting, I try to get the details from a different pressing situation.
“Have you heard any more about your father?”
At this question, his gaze darkens as emotion takes over the regret he was feeling only a moment ago. To my surprise, nothing happened yesterday, despite it being my first day away from Cain. I still had Jonah to protect me, but I was expecting Cain’s father to jump out at any moment. His threat to me the other night still lives in the back of my head, threatening to send me into a panic in an instant.
I’m going to keep finding ways to hurt you, torment you, maybe even sell you again, he had threatened. It was the last we had heard from him. My head is getting better every day, and the headaches rarely affect me anymore. The girls asked me about the gash on my head Sunday night, but I just told them I was clumsy and tripped walking up some steps.
His plan to use Christina to come between us failed miserably, but he couldn’t have really thought that would be successful.
Which leaves us to wonder when he’ll make his next move. This time, Cain will be extra cautious. He won’t be bringing me along, and he certainly won’t be leaving me alone anywhere. Not here, not at his house, and not in his car.
“No,” he finally answers after pushing through his rage. I can hear the anger in his voice, but I know it’s not directed at me. “There’s been nothing but radio silence. I have to force myself to let you stay here instead of locking you away again so he can’t get to you. The only reason I’m even remotely comfortable with you being on campus is because I know Jonah would do whatever it takes to keep you safe, just like I would.”
He would. Both of them would. They wouldn’t hesitate to jump in front of a bullet for me, though I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve that kind of devotion. I left Cain when he needed me most, and I never even attempted to find Jonah to make sure he was safe after Cain and his men took out all the bodyguards at Carlos’ house.
“People give me funny looks when they see him walking with me,” I tell him. By the end of classes yesterday, I had gotten used to the stares, but it was still mildly embarrassing. I could see everybody wondering who I was and why I needed a bodyguard to take me to classes.
Cain opens his mouth as if he’s about to remind me why I need Jonah with me, but I hold up the hand not propping my chin up to stop him. “I know, I know. I didn’t say I don’t want him with me, I just said I get funny looks.”
“I could walk you around on days that I have free instead,” he suggests with a mischievous glint to my eyes. I roll my eyes, knowing exactly why he’s saying it.
I may get weird glances for having a man the size of the hulk walking around with me, but having Cain walking around with me would be even worse. People would still look at me funny, but they would either be terrified of him in all his muscled, tattooed glory, or I’d be fighting off girls trying to get his attention all day. Yeah, no thanks.
“I think I’ll stick with Jonah,” I tell him, getting rid of that idea. No way am I about to watch girls trying to flirt with him. “I don’t need you falling for some random girl on campus because she flirts with you.”
My tone is teasing, but his face falls and I can tell he took my words seriously.
“Little one, if you think another woman could take me away from you, I must not be very clear about how much you mean to me,” he tells me. He’s looking at me intensely, trying to get his point across. Before I can argue and tell him I was just joking, he puts a finger to my lips to silence me.
“You’re everything to me, Ainsley. Without you, there is nothing left for me. I want to walk by your side through every step of life, even the hard parts. Especially the hard parts. I want to comfort you through every storm, and hold you tight through every nightmare. The world may paint me in shades of gray, but I don’t want to hide you from my darkness. I want to teach you to dance through the shadows and light the way with your smile.”
His words leave me speechless. For a man that loves to torture and kill people, he has a surprising side of him that only I’m allowed to see. A side that isn’t afraid to express how important I am to him, just to bring a smile to my lips.
“That would be a perfect proposal,” I tell him when I’m able to form words. He smirks at me, and I know exactly what’s coming next.
“Then take it as one and tell me you’ll marry me,” he says. It’s not a command, but it’s not a question, either.
“Do you still have that ring on you?”
His eyes widen with surprise. He was expecting me to say no, and when that’s not what falls out of my mouth, he moves to get up from the bed and get the ring that I’m sure is sitting in his pants pocket. Before he can get up, I push him back down and rest my head on the pillow next to him so I can look into his eyes.
“Keep carrying it with you. You might get to use it one of these days, but not yet.”