Chapter Seven
Sofia
One week later
I’m sitting in front of a mirror in Emily’s bedroom.
My hands are trembling too much for the winged eyeliner I had been planning for tonight.
I shake them out, but it’s no use. Nothing is helping with this jittery sensation I’ve had all day.
I toss the eyeliner aside. Smokey it is, I sigh to myself.
“It’s going to be okay,” Emily says in a soothing tone.
She’s standing behind me, taming my wild curls with her straightener.
Something I’ve never managed to make work when I do it myself.
Her piercing green eyes stare into mine through our reflections in the mirror, reassuring and sure in her convictions.
I wish I could believe her. I’ve wanted to meet my mate for years, yet the closer it gets, the more anxious I am about their identity. I have no idea who I want it to be. Or if I’m ready to meet them. If I’m ready to commit to forever.
“I told Ryan that I’m bi. He knows my mate could be female.”
“How did he respond?” Emily asks, and I have to laugh at how much I blew the whole coming-out thing out of proportion.
I remember why I didn’t tell him when I was younger.
He would have freaked out at the idea of me dating anyone.
But he stopped seeing me as a child years ago for the most part, and I should have given him more credit.
“He was cool. If anything, he was excited,” I explain, rolling my eyes at myself more than him.
“He figures that it’s likely my mate will also be a ranked wolf, and at least if they are female, then we can push for me to stay here.
But what if it’s one of the visiting ranked males? I’ll be expected to leave.”
“Maybe you’ll get an alpha wolf who isn’t the alpha of a pack? Like you?” Emily asks. That could work. We’d have to talk and decide which pack we stayed in, but there would be room to explore it.
Alphas that aren’t in charge of a pack typically leave and form their own or settle for being a beta or delta.
It doesn’t happen that often, so there are no hard and fast rules.
Females only go into heat twice a year, and there are no guarantees of pregnancy from each heat, and even when there are pregnancies between an alpha and their mate, it seems more likely for wolves to inherit their wolf from the maternal side.
Ending up with omega, warrior or unranked pups, dependent on the luna’s wolf.
Sometimes, an alpha and luna will have lots of pups to ensure an alpha wolf for succession.
Caleb has four alpha brothers, but I’ve never heard of that before. And I’ve never met another alpha female other than my mom. Goddess, I wish I had known sooner that she was going to leave us. I wish I’d had the chance to ask her all the questions that came up later.
And as much as I hate her for walking out on us and never looking back, still sometimes I can’t help wanting my mom.
“Yeah, maybe,” I reply, somehow knowing it won’t be that easy.
An unfamiliar panic claws at my throat. I’m not usually the nervous-wreck sort of girl. This is meant to be a good day. A great day. The day I potentially meet the love of my life. And no one can take that away from me. But what if they are awful?
It was so easy to trust mate bonds before. But seeing who Emily was originally fated to has ripped that idea wide open.
The fear grips my stomach, twisting into knots.
My breath hitches in my chest, and my skin prickles with a cold sweat.
I grip the edges of my seat to steady my trembling hands as a wave of nausea washes over me, making me want to flee.
My heart pounds in my ears, a frantic drumbeat against the silence of my anticipation.
I wish I had some kind of clue who it would be.
So many fated mates are already dating before they find out for sure.
The bond might not kick in until the younger wolf turns twenty-one, but that doesn’t stop wolves from being drawn to their mates.
It’s just less clear. Emily told me that when her bond to Jackson was formed, it was like everything they already felt intensified.
She practically melted into a puddle and got all teary-eyed even talking about what it was like. It was obnoxious. And I want to experience it, but the sinking sensation in my stomach all day tells me it won’t be the same for me. Unfortunately for me on this occasion, my intuition is rarely wrong.
“You don’t have to do anything yet. Screw traditions and take your time to get to know whoever it is,” Emily says firmly.
I grin at her, my sweet little omega bestie telling me to basically not give a fuck.
You would think finding out her abuser was her fated mate would be a surefire way to make anyone question the mate bond.
But she got her second chance, and Jackson is perfect for her. They’re irritatingly happy together.
Not really, I love them both.
“And anyway,” Emily continues. “Just because you can meet your mate once you turn twenty-one, there’s no guarantee that you will meet them straightaway.”
I take a deep breath, trying—and failing—to steady my mind.
Because I already know I’ll meet my mate tonight.
I can feel it in my bones. In the jittery way, I can barely stop myself from shaking.
In the butterflies that swarm around my stomach.
And most telling of all, in the way my wolf hasn’t been able to sit still all day.
She has been pushing me to shift and go outside.
To search for them. Hunt them down and claim them.
I’m certain I’ll meet him or her tonight.
“Yeah, I guess,” I say with a shrug before finishing my makeup. I slip into the red dress I bought for tonight. It’s tight and shows off my curves and long legs. I may have mixed feelings about meeting my mate, but I still want them to think I’m hot as hell.
“What are you thinking?” Emily asks, her tone soft and her face neutral. I know in my core she would accept whatever answer I give her.
“I don’t know. I’m kinda playing out the process of elimination about who it won’t be.
You’re the only female from the pack I’ve ever really connected with, so I can’t imagine my mate is any of the females here.
I’ve only dated human females, and there’s no way my mate could be human.
I’ve heard of it with unranked wolves, but never with an alpha.
I’ve had flings with a couple of male warriors, but I never saw them as a serious option, just a little fun.
I’ve met wolves from other packs, but my wolf was never particularly drawn to any of them.
So, basically, I’m a slut, but my wolf is a picky bitch who won’t settle. ”
I shrug my shoulders before I draw my now sleek hair into a high ponytail as Emily giggles.
There’s only one wolf that I’ve ever experienced anything intense for, but there’s no way it’s him.
Because as much as I obsessed over Luca, and he seemed to be fond of me when I was a kid, that was a long time ago.
I have no interest in the version of himself he became a few years ago, and he has even less interest in me.
“Almost time to go,” Emily says, placing her hands on my shoulders and giving a slight squeeze that lets me know she will have my back, no matter what happens, the same way I will always have hers. I nod my head and settle myself, knowing that no matter what tonight holds, I’ll be okay.
“Let’s do this,” I say.
Jackson is all over Emily as soon as we leave the bedroom, and I can’t blame him.
Emily looks smoking hot in her figure-hugging purple dress.
And as much as I tease them about how sickeningly in love they are, I’m ecstatic for them.
I love how Jackson is unashamedly obsessed with Emily and how her confidence has soared since they got together.
It’s so freaking cute. Even more so since they marked each other a few days ago.
That’s what I want. What I’ve always wanted.
“Ugh, get a room,” I tease, even though I know from making Emily tell me all about their sex life that they don’t need any suggestions in that department.
“Don’t give him ideas!” She laughs as Jackson growls in frustration. They share a mindlink, and Jackson’s posture takes on a serious edge instantly. Weird.
“You get that there are no guarantees of meeting your mate tonight, right?” Jackson asks, his tone free of any teasing.
“You’re only saying that because you’re not emotionally prepared to see your pseudo-little sister getting hot and heavy with her shiny new mate,” I say and wink at him, which elicits a groan from Jackson and a laugh from Emily.
We walk together over to the home I share with Ryan, Emily holding one of my hands while Jackson’s arm is slung over her shoulder. I inhale every few moments to see if I can detect my mate’s scent, but nothing is drawing me to them yet. I'm sure they aren't here as we enter the house.
My wolf urges me to leave immediately. To search them out.
To hunt until I find them. But I push her down.
My mate might not be here, but everyone else is, by the looks of things.
Most of the unmated pack members are here, as well as several ranked wolves from other packs.
Even Caleb took a night off from the search to join us.
“Hi Emily. Happy birthday, Sofia,” he says while giving me a warm hug.
His eyes are tired, and his smile doesn’t reach them.
Between staking out the locations Emily gave us and dealing with being alpha of a half-deserted pack, he’s had his work cut out for him.
It’s obviously taking its toll on the strong male before me.
“Hey, Caleb. I didn’t think you would make it. How is the search going?”
“Yeah, we’ve had some developments.” He glances around before giving me a look that says he doesn’t want to talk about it here. He gives me another quick hug, but his muscles remain tight and bunched. “My brothers insisted I take a night off.”
Ryan is next to come over, wishing me a happy birthday and giving me a hug. “Pick up any scents yet?” he asks, and I shake my head. Whoever they are, my mate isn’t here.
I spend some time chatting with friends, laughing at Mike and Simon, two close friends, when they share their disappointment at not being my mate.
Several visiting ranked males approach me, offering their services as a chosen mate or even a placeholder until I find my mate, which my wolf has no interest in.
Unlike humans, wolves don’t typically have relationships until they meet their mate.
It only gets messy. Sometimes people will date and turn out to be mates when the younger turns twenty-one and everything works out.
Other times, such as with my parents, it’s a disaster.
My parents were chosen mates, and usually when you take a chosen mate, you won’t recognize your fated one.
But that’s not what happened with them. Mom met her fated mate and rejected Dad to go be with him.
Destroying our family and turning my once proud father into a shell of the alpha he once was in the process.
So, when I’m asked to take a chosen mate on the first night I could potentially meet my mate, it rubs me up the wrong way. Give a girl a chance, please.
“I think you might be off the hook for tonight,” Emily whispers while glancing at the clock a couple of hours after we arrived.
I grin at her, feeling like after a night with so many offers from males I have no interest in, that I’m glad my mate is not one of them.
I let myself relax, ready to dance with my friends and let go of the thoughts of meeting my fated mate.
I inhale one last time, more out of habit than anything—but then I catch his scent.
Familiar and yet unlike anything I’ve ever smelled before, a heady mixture of amber and sandalwood.
My wolf surges forward and my mouth waters, but my blood runs cold.
Because my mate is the last person I could ever imagine being with.
The world narrows to the space between us as he stares at me from across the room. Luca’s eyes bore into me while the rest of his face remains completely neutral. As if this isn’t a big deal at all.