Chapter Nine
Sofia
No, no, no. Hell no. Luca fucking Taylor cannot be my mate.
This can not be happening. I pinch my arm to try to wake myself up from this nightmare, but it’s no use.
Ryan leads us away from the party towards Luca’s cabin.
I could almost laugh at the absurdity—this is the first time I will enter his home.
He moved in about two and a half years ago, several months after he decided he hated me.
And I wasn’t allowed in under any circumstances.
Not to the parties he invited all the warriors to.
Not to the movie nights he used to include me in when I was younger.
Not to anything. I’ll never forget the humiliation of going to a party with my friends and Luca pulling me aside to tell me I wasn’t welcome.
“It’s only for adults, you understand, right? ”
Yeah, I understood. Luca hated my guts and couldn’t tolerate being in the same room as me.
What I still don’t understand is why. Because nothing actually happened between us.
He was fine before he left to go to beta training, but at some point while he was away from the pack, or maybe even before that, he changed.
Luca and I walk quietly behind Ryan. I can feel him staring at me. Goosebumps prickle my arms, and the hair on the back of my neck stands on end, as they always do when I sense his gaze on me.
I refuse to look at him.
I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing how devastated I am. He doesn’t get to see how much I care. How much I want to never look at his stupid, unfairly gorgeous face again.
Unlike me, my wolf couldn’t be fucking happier. It’s infuriating. She is practically purring with excitement at our proximity to our mate. She’s a slut like that.
Luca opens the door and stands back to let me walk in ahead of him when we arrive at his cabin.
I scowl at him and roll my eyes. Now he wants to be nice to me?
Now he wants something from me. Typical.
The gesture only serves to remind me of the old Luca.
And who he used to be would fucking kick his ass for how awful he’s been to me.
My nose scrunches as I’m assaulted by the scents of other females, and even my wolf lets out a low growl. Good. She’s recognizing some of the signs of how wholly unsuitable he is.
“Right, I take it you are fated mates?” Ryan asks, and Luca and I both nod. Ryan lets out a breath and begins pacing back and forth. “Okay, okay, this makes sense. You can both talk again, but no one,” he points at me, “is to reject anyone.”
He lets his alpha aura out to undo his previous command, and I let out a sharp, bitter laugh. I’m so fucking over this bullshit. He might be alpha and my older brother, but he doesn’t get to act like he has any say in this.
This is my future—my life—not his.
“Nothing about this makes sense,” I snap while shooting my best death glare at Luca and then Ryan. “And just because you’re alpha, it doesn’t mean you can fucking force a mate bond!”
“Yeah, sorry. Definitely didn’t see this coming,” Luca offers with a shrug of his shoulders and a slight wince, speaking to Ryan as if I’m not even here.
Did he actually just apologize for being fated to me?
So, we’re still treating me like an annoyance, I guess.
I scrunch my nose to relieve the tingling that erupts there and push the sting of rejection down.
“You want to tell us why you tried to reject your fated mate?” Ryan asks as he takes a seat and gazes up at me.
His expression softens, and he’s using the soft sort of tone you would use with someone who is about to jump off a bridge.
If the situation were any different, he would have me in the palm of his hand.
My big brother, who looked out for me after Mom rejected Dad and left us.
Dad was a wreck and barely survived the rejection, and he ended up leaving us, too.
But Ryan has been there for me. My only constant.
He was thrust into the role of Alpha way too young, but he also fell into the role of parent as much as being an older sibling.
I was only fourteen, and honestly; I enjoyed pushing the limits of his boundaries way too much.
“Yeah, I’d love an answer to that too,” Luca huffs, bringing me straight back into my frustration.
“Are you honestly surprised?” I ask. I blink too fast as I try to tamp down my emotions because there is no chance in hell I’m about to let Luca see me cry. Fate, he’d love that; another reason to treat me like a child.
“Maybe because Luca has been an asshole to me for years? Or maybe the fact that he currently smells like another she-wolf tonight? Or maybe, maybe it’s because I want a mate who actually appreciates me as a person and can show me a fucking hint of respect?”
Fury simmers beneath my skin. Every muscle in my body tightens as a silent scream claws at my throat, threatening to break free. My frustration is a constant companion; one I need to hold on to right now. If I don’t stay angry, I’ll give in to hurt, and I can’t do that.
I’ve waited for my mate. Sure, I’ve dated, I’ve had sex, but I’ve never allowed myself to really let anyone in.
Never felt as though I could let my guard down and fully trust someone enough to let them in.
I’ve dreamed of someone who would love me instantly.
A love that I would easily return, because we would be perfect for each other.
“Hey, I’m not exactly jumping for joy, either, Princess,” Luca says finally, his voice interrupting the blood rushing in my ears. “I wasn’t expecting to meet my mate tonight. I obviously wouldn’t have brought a date if I was. And I’ve already broken up with Rachel by mindlink.”
“How good of you,” I respond curtly, cutting him off and glaring at him. I knew he wouldn’t want me, but it still stings when he says it.
“Sofia, you’re my mate. We need to talk about this—about us,” he says. His stare is so intense, and he almost sounds sincere until he adds, “It’s not what I wanted either, but you need to grow up instead of jumping to the nuclear option.”
I wonder if he can see the steam coming out of my ears right now.
I swallow the urge to pick up a lamp and throw it across the room.
It would only be another thing for him to patronize me about.
He would love nothing more than to accuse me of throwing a tantrum.
I take a deep, steady breath and look to Ryan.
Silently pleading with him to be my brother and not the alpha right now.
Not the Ryan who has been insanely passionate about the importance of fated mate bonds ever since Mom left.
He thinks that because Mom and Dad were chosen mates, they put themselves into a situation where the potential would always be there for one of them to meet their true mate and their bond to be shaken.
Even though there is no record of this ever happening before because usually once you take a chosen mate you can’t recognize your fated one, even if you do meet them.
And anyway, surely he remembers the last time he prioritized a mate bond over a pack member.
He nearly ended up costing one of his best friends his mate, and seven wolves ended up dead.
Not that I minded their deaths. They deserved it, but still, it was a shitshow to clean up, and I haven’t fully forgiven Ryan for not protecting Emily more.
“I’m going for a run,” I tell him, because I’ve reached my limit of listening to Luca’s bullshit, and I cannot breathe in this room that reeks of practically every female in the damn pack.
"Fia, I need you to think this through. Promise me you won't reject Luca yet," Ryan pleads, his voice thick with a mixture of concern and something akin to desperation. He reaches towards me, his hand hovering, waiting for me to take it. His brown eyes, usually warm and calm, are full of turmoil I don’t understand.
I look away from him, my jaw tight. The scent of desperation hangs heavy in the air, and none of this makes sense.
Why would Ryan even want us together? Why isn’t this all kinds of weird for him?
“Just… give it some time, Fia,” he continues, his voice barely a whisper, “before you make such a huge—potentially deadly—decision. Please.”
“How long?” I ask, letting out a breath as I pause by the back door.
I have no intention of giving this a chance, but for right now, I need to get out of here, and I need no one to follow me.
Because the bond and being so at odd with my wolf is already wearing on me.
My head pounds as I try to keep my emotions in check.
“Give it a month?” he asks. I hear Luca scoffing, but I’m choosing to ignore him.
“This is ridiculous,” Luca huffs. “Let her fucking reject me, if that’s what she wants. Maybe I’ll get a second chance. Someone who is an actual adult.”
“Maybe I’ll get someone who isn’t a gigantic asshole,” I fire back, and he lets out a growl that if I didn’t know better, I would swear sounded almost possessive. But that can’t be right. Luca hates me. He’s made it abundantly clear how little regard he holds for me.
“Look, let’s take a breather for tonight, huh?” Ryan asks. “No one was expecting this, but let’s all be grown up about it and take some time before making life-altering decisions.”
Ugh, he knows me too well. He’s baiting me, and he knows I never back down from a challenge. “Fine. But I’m going to go get a breather somewhere that smells better.” I scrunch my nose again and shoot Luca one last glare.
Before anyone can object, I storm out the back door, slamming it closed behind me.
I strip off my dress, bra, and panties, and kick off my heels as soon as I get outside.
With one last breath, I let my wolf loose, relishing the pain of my bones cracking and lengthening as the shift takes hold.
I drop onto all fours and shake out my chestnut brown fur.
My sight sharpens, scents bloom stronger—the damp leaves and the fresh hint of earlier rainfall, the pine of the forest. The cold air rustles my fur, and thankfully, my wolf is pissed enough about the scent of other females, that she takes the opportunity to run off this tension rather than fighting to stay close to her mate.
She has my back, even if it’s not for the same reason.
My wolf lets out a howl of pain that I have no power to restrain.
And then she runs at full tilt until she’s spent, until my lungs burn, and my limbs collapse, unable to go another step forward.
Only then does my wolf drop into a crouch and submit to the quiet forest. Shifting back into my human form alone in the forest, I curl up and finally let the tears come in heaving sobs.
I don’t cry often, especially not over boys. Not anymore.
If you were to ask anyone other than Emily, they would probably tell you I’m incapable of crying. I’ve worked hard to learn to hold in my pain and hide it from anyone who would use it against me.
So, I’ll cry now and get it all out. I’ll let mascara stream down my face and allow my sobs to choke me.
Let out all the pain and the grief of fate fucking me over.
But then I’ll shake myself off and suck it up.
And before I go back and face anyone, I’ll get back to being the Sofia who kicks ass so much that no one has a choice but to respect me.
The version of me I became because the little girl part of me got her heart broken.
Repeatedly. First Mom left, then Dad, and then, finally, Luca left too.
When he cast me aside and left the pack for two years without a single message to check in.
He made me feel as though I mattered, and then he dropped me like I was nothing.
And he never looked at me again. Not the way he used to.
I would be a fool to let that happen again. Especially when he’s not even pretending to want me now.