Chapter Ten
SLOANE
IT’S BEEN four days and, except for meals, I have avoided Mason. It sounds weird, but I can sense when he is near and I make myself scarce. The frustrating thing is that when I know he is near me, I smile to myself. It feels good to know that if I need him, he’s there.
For the most part, he works outside with everyone else through the day, so it’s rare for him to be in the house. Part of me is looking forward to him returning to work, but there is a little voice in my head that keeps telling me I’ll miss him.
Spending each day feeling things that I shouldn’t for someone who is off limits is making me crazy. Especially at night when the house is quiet and I have time to think - and feel.
Today is dusting day for certain rooms and I duck into my favorite room in the whole house. Based on the book titles on the two large walls, anyone can tell that the small library has changed hands over the years, mostly from woman to woman.
A smaller half wall is full of books that a man would like, such as maps, horses, fence making, cars, and other masculine things.
If this were my house, I would spend all day in this room. It would be my sanctuary with a large reading chair next to the window, soft pillows, and crocheted throws draped over the chair. I would take my morning coffee here and read by the rising sun.
If I had trouble sleeping, I would turn on the soft light behind the chair and read until I fell asleep nestled in its soft cushions next to the warm fireplace.
Even though it’s not my house, I’m happy to keep the room beautiful and all the dust off the books that, in my opinion, don’t get enough attention. That’s why I take a new book to my room every few days and read in bed until I fall asleep.
Last week during dinner, Marley was talking about one of the rescue horses she is working with and its mannerisms when men are near, and I wished that I knew the horse lingo she was using.
I have been reading some books on horses in the evenings to be able to follow the things that are important to her.
Marley has always been nice to me and makes a point to include me in conversation during meals.
She was the one who noticed that I came into the house with a minimal amount of belongings and clothes, she gave me some weather-appropriate clothing when I first started working in the house that I could wear until I was able to buy some of my own.
Sliding my duster across the books, I notice a small book pushed to the end of one of the shelves.
It’s tucked in behind a larger book and the pink spine draws my attention, The Secret Garden.
It’s worn and the paper cover is frayed around the edges, on the inside of the cover is written ‘To my beautiful girl, remember to always look the right way, love Mom’.
Tears prick my eyes, and I wonder which girl this was written to, it would be Marley or Kinley since they were both reading age before their mom died. My thoughts turn to my own mom and how I don’t have anything of hers to hold onto since I had to run and leave everything behind.
She had the warmest hugs and I miss being held in that soft warmth. I remember her calling me her beautiful girl, at the time I didn’t think much of it, but now I would give anything to hear her voice again.
I sniffle as I let my fingers slide over the elegant script.
“That was my mom’s book.” Two strong arms cage me in as large hands lean on the bookshelf.
I nearly jump out of my skin; I was so distracted with thoughts of my mom that I didn’t even hear Mason come into the room. I snap the book closed and bat away the tears sliding down my cheeks.
There is no way I could mistake those arms or that voice, especially the thick, sexy wrists that go with them.
His flannel shirt is rolled up to his elbows, the fabric is tight around the muscles of his biceps, and the cords of his forearms are standing out from the exertion of working outside, flakes of grass and hay are stuck to the recently sweaty skin.
Everything about him is sexy.
Briefly glancing over my shoulder, I sniff and say, “Don’t you have anything better to do than sneak up on people?”
As I slide the book back into the spot I pulled it from, he says, “You’re awful jumpy.”
I huff out a breath as I turn inside the space of his arms to face him, “Anyone would be jumpy when someone sneaks up on them.” His ballcap is turned backward making his face look younger and his jaw sharper.
Seeing him like this makes it easy to imagine the young Mason who used to work the farm as a teenager. Except for the close-cut beard across his jaw, which in the bright light of the south-facing window almost looks red like Gray’s.
My back is against the shelves, but he still feels too close. His spicy cologne mixed with man, sweat, and hay is all around me and his cool blue eyes are a little too close. His warmth is like a fluffy blanket and I’m fighting the urge to purr and let myself lean into him.
One side of his mouth tips up, and his eyes dip to my lips and back up, “You’ve been avoiding me.”
Yes, I have. “I barely notice you’re here.” I try to sound dismissive and matter-of-fact as I look over his shoulder, but even I can hear the weakness of the statement laced with the words.
His smile spreads across his face, “Liar.”
Lifting my chin, I lock eyes with him, “It’s the truth, Mr. Conceited. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m far too busy around the house to think about distractions.” As soon as the words leave my lips, I realize what I said and try to stop myself from showing my frustration.
He can’t know he frustrates me.
Bending his elbows slightly, his body leans closer to mine, and it takes all I have to push my back tighter on the shelves instead of listening to my body screaming to be touched.
With him this close, my head is tipped back, and I remember the feel of those lips and all the things they made me feel.
“Am I a distraction?” His deep voice has dropped an octave, the vibration tickling places that shouldn’t be waking up right now.
Every. Single. Day.
My eyes volley between his and I shake my head once, “Of course not, I only meant in regard to the extra work I have to do.” My voice is just above a whisper and I could kick myself, if I can hear the lie in my words, I know he can, too.
He lifts one hand from the shelf, and his palm cups my cheek. It’s warm and rough, and my chest lifts a little faster with each breath. Sliding his thumb under my eye, he wipes the wetness of my tear from my skin.
It’s an intimate gesture, one that warms something deep inside me, and heat rushes to my core. Would it be so bad to kiss him just once?
A muffled voice breaks through the haze in my head and reminds me that I can’t get involved with him, and my heart sinks. I have to get away from him.
Mason was supposed to be a one-night stand, just an itch for a scratch that I’ve needed for the past two years since that scumbag touched me. Liar.
He could have done anything to me after my brother left that room. If that other man hadn’t told him not to, he would have raped me and enjoyed it.
Sometimes I can still feel him touching me and it makes me want to vomit. Then I remember I stabbed him, I don’t even know if I killed him or not.
Mason can’t know any of this, I can’t take the chance of him making me leave.
“Where’d you go?” Mason’s deep voice brings my focus back to him. “What were you thinking just now that put the fear in your eyes?”
My mom used to tell me my thoughts were written on my face. Damn it. My gaze drops to his lips once more, my body fighting with my mind for dominance, and I wrap my fingers around his wrist, enjoying the warmth of his palm on my skin for just one more second.
Taking a deep breath, I straighten my shoulders and say, “I can’t do this.” I push his hand away from me and step to the side to escape the warm bubble he created around us. I immediately miss his warmth when I do.
His hand loosely grasps my wrist as I start to walk away, and I stop and turn.
“Tell me why.”
I need to get away from this man. Cocking my eyebrow up, I loosen my wrist from his grasp and say, “Maybe I’m just not interested.”
His eyes move over my face for a moment before he smiles and says, “Nah, that’s not it.” He closes the space between us so I have to tilt my head back again, his chest touching my arm, “I remember how your body responded to me, every touch, every kiss. Every time I made you come. You wanted me.”
I still do.
So bad.
I audibly swallow and say, “I was drunk.” I wasn’t.
The smile doesn’t leave his face as I turn and leave the room. I almost bump into Kinley as I cross through the door, her head cocks to the side and she looks at me with an eyebrow raised in question.
My stomach drops and I take a step back, I know my eyes are round as saucers and I look guilty.
Did she hear any of that?
Trying to wipe the surprised look off my face, I swipe my sweaty palms on my jeans and paste a smile on my face.
“Excuse me,” I say and walk around her
Her gaze stays on me as I walk next to her and I hear her say, “Sure.”
Shit!
Taking a deep breath, I walk faster to my room. I need to change my panties and maybe my jeans because I’m soaking wet.
But more importantly, what did Kinley hear?
Just freakin’ great. I’ve not really got to know Kinley; she spends most of her time in her cabin about a quarter of a mile north of the main house. It used to be the foreman’s cabin until Gray took over the role and he stays in the main house, so Kinley moved in there a few years ago.
Do I have to worry about her saying anything to anyone else in the house? Panic skates up my spine as I worry what everyone would think of me. In every TV show I’ve seen; the maid never comes out with her job or an unscathed reputation.
Oh, God, I put my hands over my face as I get to my room and close the door, leaning on the cool wood. Fear makes my heart beat harder as I think about moving from job to job and hotel to hotel before I got this job, compared to where I’m at now, I was so exposed then.
A knock on my door makes me jump. Did one of them follow me? I put my hand on the knob and take a deep breath to calm myself before I pull the door open.
“Hey, Sloane,” Marley says. Her big blue eyes look me over, “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
When Opal was training me, she gave me the rundown on all the siblings. Even though she didn’t give a lot of detail, I know that Marley was attacked when she was in high school, and Mason almost killed the guy who attacked her. It’s why Mason left the ranch and joined the Army.
Marley was the most welcoming when I first came here.
I step out into the hall and briefly look around to see if anyone followed me, “Of course not, what can I do for you?”
She smiles like I just made her day, she almost looks excited, “I wondered if you could help me bring the Christmas decorations from the attic when you have some spare time, I want to have a family dinner and tree decorating party this weekend.”
My parents never had decorating parties, I would come home from school and the house would look like Christmas vomited on it. It’s been so long since I’ve been part of a family Christmas that I almost get choked up.
“I would love to help, just let me know when and what you would like to have for dinner, and I’ll put in the grocery order.”
Her warm hand grasps my arm and her eyes twinkle to go with her smile, “Thank you, Sloane, you’re the best.” She pulls me into a hug, her soft floral scent wraps around me and I happily hug her back.