Chapter 19 Known Is Comfortable
KNOWN IS COMFORTABLE
“Are you nervous about tomorrow?” Rowan asked her the next day.
They were out to dinner. She told him she could cook. She’d been just sitting around the house all day, but he wanted to take her to this place close to his house on the beach.
She’d actually walked down and it’d taken her ten minutes. That was a nice treat. She’d ride home with him though.
“Not really,” she said. “I’m used to starting new jobs all the time.”
“That would drive me nuts,” he said. “I’m not sure I always like the unknown.”
“Really?” she asked. She cut into the scallops that were on her plate in front of her. “I never expected that of you. I’m glad to learn these things. How come?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “The known is comfortable.”
She laughed. “It is. But sometimes it’s nice to get out of your comfort zone.”
Which was funny coming from her lips considering her parents gave her a hard time about always running and hiding in life and not committing to anything.
That wasn’t true, but her mother never listened to her either.
Maybe that was what she wanted in life.
Someone to hear her.
To be supportive.
To get to know her.
Not say she could figure it out on her own.
Not a wise thing to do to most teenagers, let alone one with a serious health condition that needed guidance.
In her mind, Sandy never got guidance either. Guess being told to figure it out on their own to learn from it produced two different results.
Sandy did everything she could to get the attention she craved and Saylor left to get away from the drama.
“I guess,” she said. “But if that was the case, wouldn’t you have stayed close to your family?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. He picked up his beer and took a sip. “Talk about crazy loudness. You saw it on the video.”
“That’s a holiday gathering,” she said.
“Is your family that loud at holidays?”
She laughed, then choked. “Oh yeah. But not in a good way. Sandy’s kids are terrors and they run and scream at everyone. My sister parents them the same way my mother did us. Hands off. And if Sandy is pissed or annoyed, frustrated, normally all the above, she just starts yelling.”
“Why keep having kids then?”
She leaned in and whispered, “Because she’s an irresponsible whore.”
She not only didn’t get a thank you from her sister for spending a few hundred dollars on gifts for her niece and nephews, but got a nasty text yesterday that it must be nice to live in California and just pick up your life without responsibility.
Sandy made her choices.
Saylor wanted to keep Rowan a secret from her sister as long as possible.
“Damn,” he said. “That’s bold.”
“It’s the sad truth. Why lie? My sister and I don’t have a great relationship. I know I brought it up before.”
“But you never explained.”
She shrugged. “Years of things building up. She wanted attention nonstop. She was mad that she thought I got a bunch of it when I was first diagnosed, but she’d been acting out for all eyes on her since the day she was born.”
“She’d never survive in my house. My mother didn’t have the time to give more attention to one over another unless there was a reason for it. And anyone who acted out got in trouble.”
“Did you get in trouble a lot?” she asked. “Tell me more about your siblings. It’d be nice to hear about a normal family.”
He snorted. “A single mother and eight kids isn’t normal. You know my father was in the Army. We moved a lot. I didn’t move as much as the older ones did. But I wasn’t born in the US.”
“Okay, I didn’t know that.”
“I just found out that I was an oops too,” he said.
She smiled. “Tell me about it.”
“My mother had most of the kids two years apart. Elias and I are barely a year. Guess the condom broke. Not that I wanted to know that, but when Talia found out she was pregnant, my mother confessed. That’s what happened to Talia. Or something like that.”
“They aren’t foolproof,” she said.
“Nope. So anyway, Talia had to call and bust my ass over that fact. Glad no one knew it when we were kids. It’d be worse then.”
“Sounds like there was a lot of picking on each other,” she said.
“There was. But not malicious. My mother wouldn’t allow it. Neither would West.”
She still couldn’t understand that dynamic.
“Malicious might be my sister’s middle name.”
“Does she work? Or is she a career child support collector?”
“She works,” she said. “She can flex her schedule to work weekends when my mother is home and another two days when my father is off.”
“Free child care,” he said.
“Yep. Ashton is in school now, so it’s Mila and Dutton during the day.”
“Interesting names.”
“Popular names to her. Ashton Kutcher and his wife.”
“I figured as much,” he said. “My mother has some weird names for us, but nothing like that. Dutton from Yellowstone?”
“Yep. Is there a story about the names of you and your siblings?”
“Not everyone. My mother’s maiden name is Westerly. That is West’s name.”
She had read that on some minor research she’d done of the family. “What about anyone else?”
“Foster and Nelson were the surnames of two of my father’s closest friends that had died around the time they were born.”
“That’s sad,” she said. “And a noble way to honor them.”
“It was. I’m embarrassed to tell you where my name came from, but someone might bring it up.”
“Oh boy. Your face is red. This has to be good.”
“That’s the reason right there,” he said, pointing at her. “Rowan means little red one. I guess I was pretty red when I was born. No clue why.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep. They hadn’t had a name picked out yet and my mother looked up things that meant red.”
She laughed. “I’m not sure if that is funny or not.”
“Not,” he said, shaking his head. “But my mother has a warped sense of humor.”
“Hey, it’s a great name. Be happy you weren’t called Crimson or Maroon.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way.”
“Rowan!”
They both turned their heads to where his name was called.
He lifted his hand and waved to the three guys and one woman who walked over.
They all had bathing suits on and either shorts or a T-shirt over them.
“Mitch, Eli, Brian, and Zara, this is Saylor. My girlfriend.”
He pointed them out by name, and she shook all the hands. “Nice to meet you.”
“We didn’t know you were dating anyone,” Eli said. “Since when?”
Saylor looked at Rowan to see how he answered. They were his friends and she didn’t want to speak out of turn.
“We met in December,” he said. “Around the holidays.”
Keeping it light. “Nice,” Zara said. “Are you a surfer? You don’t really look like his type.”
Talk about a rude statement.
“I didn’t know I had a type,” he said.
Great. Just what she needed to hear from his friends to feel more self-conscious about her life.
She’d spent so many years wanting to fit in and be normal after her diagnosis.
Maybe coming here without knowing more about Rowan’s lifestyle wasn’t a great idea.
She’d decided based on their week alone and how he made her feel.
Might not have been the wisest of choices.
“You like girls that enjoy the outdoors,” Eli said. “We know that. Not a blonde or brunette type thing.”
“I enjoy being outdoors,” Saylor said. “When I’m not working. As for surfing, Rowan is going to teach me soon.”
His friends looked at each other, Rowan not smiling. Which was odd because he was always happy.
“Hey, when you know you know. Maybe my normal type wasn’t working, if you think I’ve got one.”
Brian laughed and slapped him on the back. “They are just busting your ass. We’re hitting the waves now. We came over to see if you wanted to join us and that’s why Zara asked.”
“You can go if you want when we’re done,” she said.
“I’ll catch up with you guys another time. Tonight is date night. No one gives up time with a hot chick to hit the waves.”
Everyone laughed but Brian. He’d looked stunned.
When Rowan didn’t speak up after a minute, she finally asked, “What was that about?”
“It’s a small community. I’m surprised I wasn’t stopped before now. I know many people here.”
“I’m sure you come here often, but maybe they were being considerate since you are on a date.”
“Most likely,” he said. “I really don’t have a type.”
“It’s fine,” she said. “We are attracted to who we are.”
He reached his hand over and put it on hers. “I’m attracted to you. You have to know that.”
“I don’t have to know anything,” she said. “But since we’ve got such powerful chemistry I’m going on that assumption.”
He breathed out. “As you should. You can’t let what some of my friends say get to you. Most of them are ball busters.”
“Does it bother you I can’t surf? It’s so much a part of your life. What if I suck at it?”
“Then you do. You don’t need to surf for me to care for you any more or less. It’s my hobby.”
“Rowan. It’s your life. Your business. I want to understand it and know as much about it as I can. But that doesn’t mean I have to stand on a board and do it, right?”
He slid his chair over, put his fingers through her hair and pulled her in for a kiss. “The woman in my life is going to understand me, not be like me. There’s a difference.”
And since all she wanted was someone who understood her and what her life was like, she couldn’t argue that.
“There is one,” she said, giving him another light peck on the cheek.
They finished their dinner and the check came. She put her hand out to reach for it and his eyes grew wide, then narrowed a touch.
They’d talked about this already, but since it was a place that he came to often, it might poke at his ego if someone saw her paying for their meal.
She put her hand down and he whispered, “Thank you.”
At least he understood why she gave in.
That made her not doubt her decision to move as much.