Chapter 22 #2
“Well, just know that I’m thinking about you, and everyone’s praying and sending good wishes into the Universe.”
“Thanks. Did the rest of the shoot go well?”
“We got everything we needed for this campaign. But forget about that; it’s not important right now.”
Shay leaned back on the bench and tilted her face to the sun. “It’s important to you.”
“Mm.”
“What does that mean?” Shay asked. “I thought you were really excited about it.”
“Forget I said anything. You don’t want to be talking about this with everything you’ve got going on.”
Shay opened her eyes and stretched out her legs, feeling warmer and a little more energized.
“Actually, I’d like to talk about anything other than what’s going on in the faceless, concrete building behind me.
It’d give me something different to focus on…
unless you have to go. Are you with Lori? Did you get the flowers handled?”
“No, I’m not with Lori; yep, we got the flowers organized; and no, I don’t have to be anywhere. I’m here for you.”
Here for you. Rosie’s words echoed in her mind and found a place to hook on to her memory, to make it real and true. To make Rosie more, so much more, than a friend with benefits. She cleared her throat and blinked to refocus on the conversation. “So why the ennui about the tools?”
“It’s not this account, per se. I think I’m just having a mini career crisis. Again.”
Shay got up from the bench and headed in the direction of a signposted peace garden. She’d been sitting for the best part of twenty-four hours, and she needed to take this opportunity to move. “Tell me more.”
“Do you want me to tell you that it’s your fault?”
“How’s that? Because you didn’t get the shot of me naked on the hood of my car?
” Shay surprised herself with the question.
It didn’t seem right that she should still be able to have fun with Rosie when her daddy was under the surgeon’s knife with his head cracked open.
Still, Rosie’s laugh made Shay smile as she took a right.
“Well, that was disappointing,” Rosie said huskily. “But no, that’s not the reason. It’s all the talking you made me do on the Mexico trip. I mean, it wasn’t a trip, but you know what I’m saying.”
Shay reached the end of the alley, and it opened up into a huge square exploding with color. “Wow.” She took a deep breath, like the oxygen was pure and clean. “And also, wow. You’re blaming me for talking to you?”
“Why were there two wows?”
“Oh, just a second.” Shay switched to video call and gave Rosie a panoramic view of the peace garden as she began to walk the circular route. “I don’t know what all these flowers are, but they’re beautiful.”
“Wow, indeed. Glad to see there aren’t any black roses.”
Shay pressed the front camera icon, and her breath caught when she saw Rosie’s smiling face. “So they do exist?” she asked, ignoring the ridiculous flutter in her stomach.
“Yes and no. A story for later, maybe, along with a blast from my past.” Rosie rolled her eyes.
“Anyway, yes, I am absolutely blaming you for talking to me. It made me remember how much I loved being a therapist. Also, you almost look tired, which means you’re probably exhausted.
Is it okay that I’m a tiny bit relieved that you can occasionally look less than perfect? ”
“If you’re good with what that says about you as a person, then sure, that’s totally okay.” Her heart lifted with every smile Rosie caused. “But I’m happy to shoulder that blame if it made you realize the huge mistake you’ve made closing your practice and selling out to corporate America.”
Rosie clasped her hand over her mouth. “Oh my God, that’s harsh. Couldn’t you sugarcoat it just a little?”
Shay shook her head. “You like me being direct. It’s one of the great things about our relationsh—friendship.”
Rosie raised her eyebrow. “Relax. A friendship is a relationship. It just means we’re connected, that’s all. It’s if you start calling me your girlfriend that we’re going to have to have a serious talk.” She grinned widely. “But you think I made a huge mistake?”
It took everything Shay had to not react to the girlfriend comment, and she wiggled her eyebrows mischievously. “Do you?”
Rosie pointed at the screen. “Hey, no turning the therapist tables on me. Is that your honest opinion? Or are you just messing with me?”
Shay shrugged. “It’s not for me to tell you that.
Any decision is a judgment call, and if you’re lucky, you learn from it.
If you’re unlucky, you regret it. But those decisions take you down different paths and mold you as a person, and I think it’s important not to dwell on whether you were right or wrong.
Otherwise, you can spend your whole life drowning in a sea of regrets. ”
“That’s a good way of looking at it, but it sounds like you’re talking from experience too.”
“Maybe.”
“Do you regret going in the Army?” Rosie asked.
Shay shook her head. “Most of the time, no. But sometimes I wonder if things might’ve been different if I’d followed the path from degree to PhD and become a math professor. Would I have spent more time with Momma before she died? Would Daddy still be mad at me?”
“But then you’d be drowning.”
“Exactly.” Shay stopped to look more closely at a vibrant tulip, one of the few flowers she did know, and switched to the rear camera again.
“Orange was my momma’s favorite color, and these were her favorite flowers.
” She smiled, then realized the words had come out so easily.
They hadn’t been choked by the grip of grief before being allowed to escape her mouth.
She looked up toward the heavens. I love you, Momma.
“Would it creep you out if I told you they were my favorites too?”
Shay laughed. “Yes, it would.”
“Then I won’t tell you.” Rosie gave her crazy eyes and stuck out her tongue.
“So what are you going to do about your mid-life crisis?”
“Hey, I’m only thirty-two! It’s a career crisis, not a life crisis. I’m very happy with the rest of my life, thank you very much.”
Shay smiled, taking that description to include her. “Happy to be of service. So what are you going to do about your career crisis?”
“I don’t know yet, but I won’t rush into another decision, and I’m definitely not doing anything until the rollout of this campaign is over. That gives me a few months to figure out what I want to do.”
“Sounds like a good plan.” Shay had finished the circuit and was back at the entrance. As much as she wanted to keep walking and talking to Rosie, she had to face what was happening with her daddy. “Thanks for this. You took my mind off things for a while. I better get back inside.”
“No problem. Can I call you later? Or would you prefer to call me when you can? Because I’m assuming you’ll want to call me since I’m so good at this talking thing,” Rosie said and winked.
“I’ll call you, I promise.” Shay hung up, briefly wondering why she was making promises. Because that’s what you do with people you care about.