Chapter 11 #2
The brothers would be working tonight which left V and me properly alone in this enormous house.
We decided to snuggle up in the cinema room, and in poor taste, I picked out a classic mafia film called Casino.
I couldn’t believe V had never watched it.
She cringed throughout the movie, talking about how unrealistic certain parts were and how her family would have dealt with the situation instead.
I would have thought fear would lick up my spine but instead it was lust. Her fingers had nestled on my thigh under the blanket and she hadn’t moved once. It was agony.
‘Tell me something you’ve never told anyone, V. I want to know you better than anyone else ever has.’
She studied me for a moment, biting her bottom lip deciding on what to share.
‘You know I don’t work in the family business the way Xav and Z do.
I’ve always had my own dreams and it’s true—that is part of the reason.
But there’s another part of me, Sunshine—a deeper, darker shred of my soul that knows if I fell too deep into that world, I would lose myself.
I’m just like them, and sometimes that scares me because what if I’m the worst of them both?
My brothers said that, since I was a girl, I had this look in my eyes.
It was never there for long but it was blood-curdling.
I fear who I really am if I was to let go of my control.
What I’m truly capable of. And it’s not until I heard what Jason did to you that I truly understood why.
It’s bloodlust, Sunshine. I have a vindictive streak in me that makes me want to hurt those that hurt me or the ones I love a thousand times more than they could even dream.
‘I keep my distance from the business as much as possible because if I didn’t, I fear my reputation would be on par with Zane’s in this city.
It’s always bubbling under the surface—the need to hurt someone, lash out and make them break—so I’ve spent my life channelling those emotions that have nowhere to go into my art.
But seeing what Jason did to you. This is the first time I truly cannot suppress it.
I don’t even want to. I want to run toward this feeling and satisfy it.
I just don’t know if I’ll be able to wholly find my way back to you after it, and that scares me. ’
My hands squeezed hers tightly and reassuringly, because even after that confession, I still didn’t fear her.
‘Well, it’s a good thing I fall into the category of people you love then,’ I joked. She wasn’t amused; concern rippled over her features as she glanced away.
‘V, look at me.’ I dragged her chin toward me.
‘If this is a scratch you need to itch then do it. To be honest, it’s something I need you to do.
I know it’s selfish, but I wouldn’t feel sure or safe if it was anyone else ridding the world of Jason.
But I will be there. I will be there for every moment, not just at the end.
I will bear witness to it and I will pull you out if I see you drowning in it.
I promise, you won’t lose yourself. I won’t lose you.
I will not let that happen because I need you.
This version of you with a touch of insanity.
I’ve got you.’ I was so sure of myself that the message seeped into her bones as her shoulders relaxed and her forehead met mine. I breathed her in as she did the same.
‘How can you be so sure? How come you aren’t afraid of me?’ she asked, barely above a whisper.
‘Because I know your heart, I know with every fibre of my being that you would never do anything to hurt me. Just the opposite. Because I am everything to you, you could never run from that or lose your way for long. You will always come back for me. For us. I know it in my bones, V. This isn’t just love.
This is cosmic. The universe, the gods—no thing or being would allow us to be a part. ’
She let out an exhale before tilting her chin up and pressing her lips to mine.
‘I am not scared of you. I could never be scared of you. You are my everything and I am well and truly yours,’ I reassured her, kissing her temple, then her forehead, tracing down her nose, kissing her eyelids, her cheeks—every square inch of her face.
Lightly, delicately. I was trying everything I could to reassure her that this connection went beyond our baser needs.
I felt it in every fibre of my soul. I loved her; truly loved her.
So those are the words I whispered to her as I placed chaste kisses all over her.
‘I don’t deserve you,’ she whispered, more to herself than to me, but I heard it nonetheless.
I gripped the hair at the back of her head and pulled, forcing her to look at me.
Really look. She was shocked for a brief moment before the flash of pain turned into desire.
I knew then exactly what she needed. She needed to know I could control her when she couldn’t control herself.
‘Follow me,’ I demanded with a firmness in my voice that she hadn’t yet heard as I turned leaving her without glancing back.
I entered our bedroom and stood by the bed.
A few seconds later, she was closing the door behind me.
I raised my hand, making her pause by the door and preventing her from stepping forward. ‘Take it all off.’
Her eyes flickered with desire. She pulled each piece of clothing off slowly, until she was left in a black lace bra and matching underwear.
‘Your hand.’ Her nostrils flared as she ripped off the bandage hiding her fresh tattoo. Slowly, she peeled the lace off her body, raising her brow in challenge.
‘On your knees and crawl.’ Turning my back to her, I walked the remaining feet to our bed and sat at the edge after pulling my own clothes off.
I watched her crawl; even with me above her on the floor, she looked like a predator stalking her prey.
It almost drove me crazy. The heat in her eyes and the tension in her body.
Ready to pounce. But I was in control this time.
She stopped before me as I widened my legs in front of her.
I had left my lace on, teasingly I dropped a finger and dragged it along my slit right over the lace.
I loved the feel of it, I could imagine they were her fingers trailing over me, in public under a table somewhere.
She moved closer, licking her lips, ready to devour, but I wouldn’t let her.
‘Uh, uh. No touching me and no touching yourself. Watch and squirm.’ I pushed my finger inside of me, feeling my wetness soaking the lace as I pushed it inside me, deeper. My head fell back as a breathy moan left my lips.
V’s thighs rubbed together, her frustration building. I fingered myself a few more times, thoroughly soaking my underwear before sliding them off my hips.
‘Open.’ She went to spread her legs, thinking I was rewarding her for listening. How wrong she was. ‘Your mouth,’ I said.
Realisation hit her as she stuck out her tongue. I placed my scrunched-up, soaking wet panties in her mouth, but before I drew my fingers out, I pushed them deeper into the back of her throat. She made a gagging noise and clenched her fists but didn’t move away.
Taking it.
‘Good girl,’ I purred as I lifted her chin, closing my panties inside of her mouth. I could see the heat in her eyes intensify as she tasted me on her tongue.
‘Do you want me?’ I asked, knowing she couldn’t voice her response. I watched her stare at me intensely as she nodded her agreement.
‘Would you do anything for me?’ She nodded as I dragged my perfectly manicured toes up her thigh.
‘Would you kill anyone for me?’ She nodded as my toes trailed up her stomach.
‘Would you stop anything you were doing and come to me if I needed you?’ She nodded as I placed my foot on her bare chest and pushed her ever so slightly until she was sprawled out on her back.
‘Spit them out.’ She listened like the good little girl that she was. Total control coursed through me giving me a strength I was only just becoming familiar with.
She stayed there, unmoving, watching me as I stood over her. I hung my toes just over her lips. ‘Will you always come back to me?’ I asked.
She hesitated for a moment, her fears creeping in, before something settled over her: certainty. She nodded.
‘Suck.’ Her warm tongue enveloped my first toe and it sent shivers racketing up my spine. Her beneath me like this made me feel a power I had never felt before. She nipped at me playfully, but I pulled away; I was in control here, not her.
I walked away, leaving her on the floor and taking up my seat on the edge of the bed. I spread my legs, watching her gaze fall to the slit between my legs as she kneeled before me again.
‘If you were trapped in the darkness, what would you do for a taste of me?’ I asked as I slipped a finger inside of me, raising it to my lips before I sucked every bit of myself off of me.
‘Everything,’ she breathed.
‘So, what do you have to fear when you have me?’ I asked.
‘Nothing.’ She shook her head as if this one truth had quieted every fear screaming in her mind.
‘Good girl. Now, come and eat.’ I said as I spread myself wider.
She licked her lips as though she was about to feast on the finest food she had ever laid eyes on, like she had been starving before she plunged her tongue inside of me without warning.
There was no preamble, just pure desperation and need.
I felt her tongue deep inside me, as her face ground against my clit, sensations overwhelming me as one hand pulled my hips closer into her and the other found my breast, tugging at it, grabbing it like a life raft and she was drowning, drowning in me.
My body fell back against the bed as I lost myself to the pleasure and feel of her body on mine, but I needed to make sure I erased every bit of doubt.
‘What will you do when the bloodlust overwhelms you and you lose control?’ I asked, pulling back and closing my legs. She let out a frustrated groan.