Chapter 23
Facing the Alpha King
SHADOW
Seven Years Ago
Afew days passed since I had last seen Jessica.
This visit makes me nervous, and I second-guess my decision to come here.
Did Anders, the Alpha King, or Luna Queen tell her what I had done to Alpha Powers?
Will she think differently of me? Fear me?
I don’t want to see the look of fear on her face.
I wouldn’t even begin to know what to do about it.
Before I can turn around and leave, Joe answers the door. Brows raise in surprise to see me standing at the front entrance. I usually walk in from the kitchen entrance, but my nerves get the better of me, something I’m not use to. I headed straight for the main entrance.
He glances down at my wrist and smiles when he sees that I am still wearing my graduation gift. “The Alpha King is expecting you.”
I thank him and make my way through the mansion. I knock on the Alpha King’s office door and enter at his command. He stands and motions to a chair in front of his desk.
“Shadow, thank you for coming. I’m glad to see you’re still in one piece and survived the meeting with Anders.”
I offer a crooked smile. “Survived, yes, but still on his shit list.”
He scoffs and waves his hands, leaning back in his seat.
I take in his relaxed posture. I have known this man for at least half of my life.
I practically lived here with Anders before we moved to the apartments near the training facility.
I was old enough by then to live in my own apartment, but I still attended dinners and meetings until I left for the Academy in Ryukyu.
“I also thought about your actions,” he says.
“As much as I hate that you put yourself in that position, I understand why you felt the need to do it. You’re young, and you listened to your instincts.
I think Anders sometimes forgets what it was like to be a teenager—or rather young man in your case.
Although I’m pretty sure he went from being an infant straight to an old man. ”
He sighs and runs his hand along his desk in thought.
“I sure as hell drove him crazy when I was a teenager. He put me on house arrest a time or two.”
I raise my eyebrow.
“Yeah. I’m paying for all the shit I gave him, though. Everything I did growing up, I get back twice with the twins. Karma is a bitch.”
I chuckle. I can’t imagine the man sitting in front of me now as anything like the twins.
I wonder what I would have been like, if I was normal.
I wonder what my future kids would be like and how would I handle it, not really experiencing life in that way.
Future kids... I never really thought about kids or a family before.
The betrothal contract dictates a family, but I never thought about children of my own, whether I want them. I wonder if Jessica wants children.
“So did he agree to let you back into the program as a trainer?”
I nod, blinking back to the present conversation. “Thanks to Chris and Elias’s support. I don’t think he was 100 percent on board with the idea.”
“You are a great asset to the program. He’ll see that when the program starts up again.”
“I hope so. I have plans for the new recruits, which is actually why I’m here.
In yesterday’s meeting, Anders changed his mind about recruiting Jessica.
While I normally wouldn’t go against his decision, I feel that she should be a part of the program.
The training will help her to learn self-defense and build her confidence.
Between Anders and I, we can train her to gain better control of her magic.
He hasn’t given us a reason why he changed his mind. Did he say something to you?”
“No.” His eyes shift away, and he frowns.
“No, and Jessica hasn’t brought it up recently.
It’s almost as if she’s given up on the idea entirely.
” He pauses. “I think the whole incident during the guard ball influenced her mind, or maybe it has to do with her being kidnapped. I don’t know.
She’s been different—distant, reclusive to be more specific.
She already struggles with insomnia, but it has worsened of late.
The twins mentioned that she worries something might be wrong with her magic, but she won’t talk to us.
As far as I know, she hasn’t said a word to Anders either. ”
He grabs a pen from his desk and twirls it around his fingers.
“The only one who seems to get a rise out of her is Luke. She has no qualms or reservations over letting him have it when she feels he crosses a line. Sometimes, I think he irritates the hell out of her on purpose. Sometimes I let it happen because it’s the only time I see that fight bring life back behind her eyes. ”
I swallow, realizing that Jessica fell down this rabbit hole that sounds like depression.
I told myself to stay away from her, ever since she had been attacked by Boris.
I wasn’t even there when Marcus, Dustin, and Elaine ganged up on her.
I was too busy pretending that being around her didn’t affect me at all.
I’m done fighting this pull I feel whenever I’m around her. This conversation gives me the perfect opportunity to ask if I could spend more time with her.
“Would it be okay if I spend some time alone with her? I would like to get to know her better and possibly understand some of her thoughts, what she’s going through. Maybe she will talk to me about her magic.”
He gives me an absentminded nod, his eyes adopting a faraway look as he retreats into his mind.
I replay my conversation with Anders in my head. Nervously, I lick my lips and run my palms over my thighs. “Sir, if I may…”
His eyes meet mine, shining with interest. “Please, call me Nathan. Goddess, you practically grew up in this home with the rest of our children.”
I push forward before I lose my courage.
“Yes, sir—I mean, Nathan. I want to be completely transparent with you and let you know that, since I met Jessica. I’ve experienced some changes, in a good way, I think.
” I inhale sharply inhale. “I’ve developed.
.. feelings or maybe a bond. I’m not really sure what to call it.
I understand there is quite a bit of an age difference between the two of us.
I promise you that I will treat her with nothing but respect.
” I take another deep breath, trying to organize my thoughts.
He raises his hand, halting me from making a fool of myself. “I see. Would this have to do with your sudden decision to step down as Young Alpha?”
My father must have called and spoken to him about the change in our status.
He and I literally only spoke of it last night.
“It did. I want to be all in. I didn’t want to take things further, not that they have.
I wanted to make sure that I could pursue a relationship with her.
I’m not selfish to want something and give false reassurances on my end, especially because my intended mate is also her best friend.
I care for both of them. I wouldn’t dare hurt either of them. ”
He steeples his fingers in front of his chin, assessing me.
“Thank you for being honest with me. I have no doubt in my mind that you will treat our daughter with respect. However, she’s only seventeen and will need to experience what life has to offer.
Settling down at a young age isn’t good for her when she’s barely been outside of the territory. ”
“Sir, I—”
He holds up his hand again.
Heat rises in my face. Beads of perspiration dot along my forehead. He doesn’t approve of our bond.
He chuckles. “What I’m trying to say is have fun. Enjoy each other’s company. Don’t take things too seriously—not yet anyway. You two will have plenty of time for all of that. Get to know each other and experience life outside of the territory boundaries. Do you understand?”
“Yeah. I think so.”
“Good. Besides, I don’t think it’s my approval you should be sweating over. I’m sure this isn’t something you could have talked to Anders about. If he had his way, he would lock her up for the rest of her life. Add in a potential mate and he probably would self-detonate.”
I shake my head. “I plan to tell him when the time is right, if and when there is something to tell. Right now, these feelings are completely one-sided.”
He laughs. “Well, when you do have that conversation with him, make sure I’m present. He might not kill you if I’m there.”
A sense of relief passes through me. Just before the muscles in my shoulders relax, his good-humored smile drops.
“Shadow, I love that girl as if she is my own flesh and blood. If you hurt her or do anything to which she does not offer consent, I will not only let Anders have his way with you, but my boys and I will rip you apart and feed you to the pigs. Am I clear?” His Alpha energy bursts forward.
My balls literally shrivel up and tuck away inside of my body. Shit! Message received.
I pace in the sitting room while I wait for Jessica.
Doubt creeps in like a parasitic weed, sliding under my skin and making me itch with anxiety.
Some of these emotions stem from the Alpha King’s parting words.
What if I can’t control some of these innate animalistic tendencies and hurt her?
The thought forms a tight knot in my abdomen.
You won’t hurt her.
How the fuck do you know that? Just a few days ago, I put the fear of the gods in another Alpha. I almost killed one of her favorite guards.
They deserved it, and you were protecting her. The bond brings out a protective instinct. Because of that bond, you will never hurt her. You would rather die than ever hurt your true mate.
I run my hand down my face. At the mention of the bond, my anxiety spikes, and the knot in my gut tightens.
The bond forces us together, the reason why I can’t keep my distance from her.
But what if she doesn’t like me? Hell, I don’t even know if I like me even on a good day.
I’m not normal. I don’t engage in normal behaviors, like other shifters my age.
I don’t want to scare her away or for her to look at me like I’m a freak.
You should just tell her. It would make things easier. Or ask Emily to talk to her. She is one of the few who knows the real you.
No. It’s my secret. I will tell her when I think she’s ready to learn the truth. Now, go the fuck away!
“Shadow?” Jessica’s raspy voice grabs my attention, and I turn to find her standing in the doorway.
I clear my throat. Shit, she’s so beautiful. Her hair is bundled up in a ponytail. She wears her glasses, although I still don’t understand why she still uses them. She wears a fitted long-sleeved shirt, skinny jeans with manufactured rips in the thighs and Converse shoes.
You’re staring. Say something, fool.
Fuck off!
She raises an eyebrow at me, as I continue to stare.
“Uh, hello. Nice to meet you—I mean, nice to see you.” Fuck! Dammit! I scratch my forehead. “I mean… Hi, just hi.” I cringe. What in the actual fuck is wrong with me? I try to smile as I imagine transporting myself out of here, finding a damn drink, and wallowing in my mortification.
Her cheeks turn pink, and her eyes twinkle with amusement before they drop to the floor. “I see you’re still working on that smile.”
I drop my chin. “Yeah, and some other things.”
Her head turns to feign interest at the wall. “You wanted to see me?” she asks, her cheeks darkening.
I wish she would look at me. I want to see those beautiful eyes.
Take her out on a date.
A what?
Dammit. Must I tell you how to do everything? Take her on a date. Take her out on several dates. That’s how you get to know someone.
And just how am I supposed to do that? I didn’t make plans for that. A rumbling growl rolls around in my head.
Fuck this! I’m taking over. Watch and learn.
Before I can protest or transport out of the room, my inner demon takes over. I am no longer in the driver seat. I can hear everything, see everything, and speak my mind, but my words do not come out of my mouth. They linger in my mind, just as the other voice had a few seconds ago.