Chapter 7
Lark
Present Day
"Here. Let me tie your hair up." I pull an elastic band out of my purse, while Izzy wretches dry heaves into the toilet.
"Her stomach is empty, save for some water." Bowie comments.
"It usually feels better to toss something up. Maybe go grab her some more water?"
"Sure." Bowie nods.
"God, this is awful." Izzy moans into the bowl. "I knew this would happen. I'm so fucking stupid."
"Why are you so stupid?" I'm afraid to ask. I'm not really in the mood to share female bonding stories. That's the reason why I left the states. That's the reason why I came out to Paris. To get away. To escape. But most of all, to clear my head enough, so that I can decide what to do.
She inhales and lifts her head up enough, so her speech doesn't echo against the porcelain. "I'll tell you before Bowie comes back. I'll die if she finds out."
"Finds out what? Your secret is safe with me. We just met. I have no motivation to tell anyone anything about you."
"Well, other than the puking and nausea, I have no proof, but I'm almost positive that I'm, well, positive."
"Pregnant?" I check, playing dumb.
She nods. "Rush and I had sex a time or two without protection."
"Well, don't jump to conclusions until you have solid proof, Izzy. There is no point in causing yourself that much stress for nothing."
“I’d be willing to bet money on it that I am." Izzy states. “I was dismissing it, but I’ve also noticed my breasts have been very tender, not to mention the fact I don’t remember having a period for at least the last month. I don’t remember having to replenish my supplies since I was last home.”
“Have you said anything to your fiancé?"
“No. Like I said, I’ve been dismissing it. It was sort of in the back of my mind that my period hasn’t come. But now that I feel like this, I’m realizing how many of the symptoms that I’ve been dismissing. This is the only one that’s right in my face and can’t be denied.”
Bowie returns with a glass of water. “I got them to package up the rest of our food." She says, handing Izzy the water. “Do you want me to call the car?"
“I can give you guys a ride if you like. I rented a car so that I could do whatever I wanted to."
I tell them which hotel I’m staying at, and consequently, they’re staying at the same one. “If you don’t mind, that would be great." Izzy says.
I go for nonchalant. “I just need to make one stop on the way though, if that’s okay.
” I'm hoping that Izzy realizes that I’m going to stop off at a pharmacy to get her a pregnancy test. I’m also hoping that she’ll change her mind about keeping it a secret from Bowie.
I don’t know how she’s going to pull it off once she sees the positive result.
But it’s none of my business, so I don’t interfere.
Bowie runs and grabs our packages, and I usher the valet to go retrieve my rental. “I won’t be a minute." I say to the girls, as we pull up to the pharmacy.
“Actually, do you mind if I go in as well?" Bowie asks.
Well, there blows that plan. “Sure.” I look over at Izzy, who still looks very green, and now perplexed. “Do you want to come in, too?"
With an exasperated sigh, she replies. “I might as well grab something for this nausea."
Fortunately, Bowie goes in another direction, so it’s just me and Izzy walking towards the family planning aisle. "Not that I’m judging, but why do you want to keep this from Bowie? Is it like a conflict of interest? She does know that you’re dating, who is it, her husband‘s brother?"
“Yes. I’m just not sure how she’s going to react. I’m not sure how my parents are going to react, I’m not sure how my fiancé is going to react, and I sure as hell don’t even know how I am going to react, for that matter."
We walk to the aisle. When we arrive, she just stands there, frozen. "Won’t you feel better if you tell her? I mean, how long are you staying with her here?"
“I’m supposed to go home the day after tomorrow. But I suppose it will be difficult to keep this from her while I’m here. She’ll think I’m sick. She’ll tell my father, and then the cat is out of the bag. And I haven’t even wrapped my head around all this yet."
“If you want, my opinion, I think that she’ll be fine. In fact, I feel like you two are close, am I right?"
Izzy looks at her hands. “This is going to sound strange, but Bowie is sort of like my sister from a different time. We have so much in common, we both seem to really look up to one another, but I think that a small part of me has been in love with her since the day I read about her in an article. It’s going to sound ridiculous, but Bowie is sort of a hero to me in a way. "
I choose one of the boxes for her. “She sounds like a remarkable woman. And one that would be completely on board and supportive if this test comes out positive. I’d even go as far as to say that she would keep your secret for you, if that’s what you would choose to do."
She exhales, defeated. “You’re right. You are so right."
I hand her the box, and just as I do, that’s when Bowie comes around the corner. I would say that we couldn’t have made that more perfect timing. The look on her face goes from confused to a warm smile. “Are you?" She hesitates, allowing the silence to fill in the blank.
I watch as Izzy smiles with what I can only guess is her best friend. “I’m pretty sure that this is just a technicality. Forgive me, but I wasn’t ready to tell you, for some odd reason. I must be mad from hormones."
Bowie rests her arm on Izzy‘s shoulder. “I had a funny feeling, actually. But I didn’t want to say."
I interject. “See? And you were all worried."
Izzy does a face palm and smiles. “I know. It’s silly. I’m sorry.”
Bowie takes the box and walks with her hand on Izzy’s shoulder. “Come on. Let’s go see what this crystal ball says.”
We go to my room, since it’s on the first floor, and closer than Bowie's room. If that’s any consolation. To me, if a woman can’t wait to get to the elevator to find out whether or not she’s pregnant, she must be about to burst with excitement. But I don’t say that.
Both girls' eyes bulge when they stare at the stick together. Sure enough, there are two pink lines in the window. I can see it in Bowie's eyes that she’s about to burst, but she’s cautious and patient. “Are we happy or sad?" She asks Izzy.
I already know the answer, but I keep my mouth shut and let the girls have their moment.
“Provided Rush doesn’t have a stroke, I’m very happy. I have no idea how I’m going to pull this off with how busy I am, but if my mum could do it, then so can I."
As she says this, Bowie is literally jumping up and down. We do a group hug, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve naturally joined this group. Truth be told, aside from Lucy, I don’t have many female friends. I have plenty of acquaintances, but none that I would share this sort of a secret with.
“When are you going to tell Rush?"
Izzy's face falls. “Oh my God."
Bowie's expression mirrors Izzy's. “What’s wrong?"
“God, I don’t know how I didn’t remember this. Rush doesn’t want to have children. And neither did I. We had this specific conversation not that long ago."
Bowie and I lead Izzy to the chaise lounge by the bedroom window. Once she sits, Bowie starts. “What do you mean?"
Izzy rakes hand through her hair. “Before he even proposed, we already decided that our careers would come first. And I said the same thing. It must be the hormones. I must be drunk on hormones." Suddenly, she’s beside herself.
I swallow, while I watch Bowie console her friend. “I know it’s none of my business, and I have absolutely no right to say this, but you can have an abortion."
“You see, this is why I didn’t want to tell anybody, including Bowie." Izzy says to herself. “Deep down I knew that this is not news to be excited about."
Her gut instinct, her initial response, is the one that’s true.
I believe she just has cold feet now. You can’t take back your first reaction.
Never. That’s how you truly feel about something.
Always. Izzy's initial reaction was genuine. She was not putting on a show for Bowie, or for me, for that matter. I wish that I could say my thoughts out loud, but I can’t.
As I watch my new friend rake her fingers through her hair, scraping her scalp in the process, I will my lips to stay shut.
“You’ve got a day or two to think about this, Izzy." Bowie consoles.
That’s when she spirals. She becomes unglued.
Hysterical. But instead of wanting our support, she asks us to leave her be.
She wants to go back to her own room and be alone.
Bowie and I exchange a look, wondering if it’s safe to leave her by herself when she’s in such a state, but she wipes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and tells us that she’ll be just fine.
So, we do what she’s asked and walk her upstairs to her room and leave her.
Only, she just thinks that we leave her, but we each take a seat on the provided chairs in the hallway.
“Jesus, she’s really rattled by this." Bowie states.
I want to say more, but I don’t. I am in no position, and I have no right. All I do is nod. Minutes pass, as we sit in silence, focusing so hard on the door to try and hear any movement or chatter. Then Bowie receives a text message from her. Bowie responds that we're just sitting in the hallway.
Seconds later, the door opens. “Well, I think I just made it worse.”
Bowie rises. “What do you mean?”
“I called Rush.” She shrugs nervously.
Bowie stumbles on her words. “But, um, what happened, did you tell him?"
“Not exactly. I was in hysterics. I told him everything, but I told him nothing all at the same time. I don’t even remember what I said."
“Are you sure you didn’t tell him that you’re pregnant?" I ask.