Chapter Nine
Nine
Forge
Stepping inside my parents’ house still felt like I was coming home.
I’d grown up inside these walls, and it had been a real fucking good life. Sure, there was a dark side to what we did. But after those lessons, the preparation, the things that turned us from boys to men overnight, I could come home, and Mom’s smile made it all better.
She knew the nights that things were bad.
Either Dad had prepared her or she could read the shadows in our eyes.
There would always be a plate of brownies waiting.
The ones with walnuts, which were Oz’s favorite, and the ones with fudge icing on top, which had been my and Kash’s favorite.
Often, she’d be sitting in the living room, reading a book and waiting on us.
Shit we had taken for granted. Thought we would always have.
Until life decided to try and take it.
Kash appeared in the arched entrance coming from the living room.
He had a cookie in his hand and took a bite.
I’d known he was here. His truck was in the circular driveway.
He hadn’t been at breakfast this morning, and I figured it was because he had come here.
Neither of us had liked not being able to see her last night.
But my evening wasn’t so bad. I’d found myself forgetting at times and enjoying the company.
I wouldn’t dig too deeply as to why because it was twisted in my head.
I felt guilty for not thinking about Mom when I was around Elsie.
But when she smiled? Damn, it was something else.
I liked seeing it. Knowing she wasn’t dead inside after what she’d lost. That there was still an ability to enjoy things.
“Took you long enough,” Kash said.
I frowned. What the fuck did that mean?
“I didn’t realize I was on a schedule,” I snapped, annoyed.
He smirked at me. “Or you got sidetracked by our guest.”
I had waited around for Elsie to show up in the kitchen. But she still hadn’t come down after an hour and a half, so I’d given up, mad at myself for even doing it.
We’d all stayed up late last night, watching a chick flick that Winslet had picked out after the basketball games ended. I dealt with a few payouts and collections, then decided to join them. I’d done it to keep Gathe off Elsie. Or at least, that was part of it.
“I had some bets to call in this morning, and Oz wanted to see the payout spreadsheet,” I said defensively. Which wasn’t a lie. But it had only taken me five minutes to make sure it was completed before texting it to him.
“Uh-huh,” he replied, then shoved the last bit of cookie into his mouth before turning and going back toward the living room.
Fucker knew I was making excuses.
I followed him through the short hallway that was decorated with portraits of me and my brothers before entering the living room. There was a fire going in the fireplace, and Mom was curled up in her favorite chair with a sherpa throw covering her.
“Good morning,” she said brightly.
It was still hard to look at her with the scarf she wore over her bald head. That and her much-too-thin face and sunken-in cheekbones felt like they were sucking the air out of my lungs every damn time.
“Morning,” I called out, going straight to her and bending down to press a kiss on her cheek. It was cold. She was always cold. “You need me to juice this fire up some?” I asked, already going over to get another log to add to the flames.
“Oh, it’s fine, but go on ahead if you want to,” she replied.
“I just put a log on it,” Kash said, sinking down onto the sofa.
“Well, I’m adding another,” I informed him, tossing it on there and poking the flames a bit.
I had to do something. Thoughts of Mom being cold only made the caged feeling return.
“I’ve got fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies in the kitchen,” Mom said. “Go get you some.”
“I will in a minute,” I assured her and went to sit in Dad’s chair beside her. “How you feeling today?”
She sighed. “Good. Better.”
That was a lie. She never admitted to feeling poorly.
“Need me to get you anything?”
She reached over and squeezed my hand. “Not a thing. I’m fine. Just sit and take a minute. Tell me about your day yesterday.”
Yeah, I couldn’t do that. Elsie was off-limits, and that was the main topic.
“Had to handle the bookie work on my own last night with Oz making a run. That wasn’t much fun, but we made a good bit on it. Two upsets was a nice payoff.”
“Are you still thinking of moving in with the Bowens?” she asked.
Not an option, but again, I couldn’t tell her that. “Eh, eventually. Right now, things are good. No need to up and move.”
Mom smiled. “Who knows? You might be next. I’d like to see all my boys happy and in love.”
Ouch. Don’t go down that road, Mom. I will do anything for you, but not that. Please not that.
“Well, one of us has to be out there, having fun. I’m happy just like I am. Free of drama and commitment.”
Her laugh was like it had always been. It didn’t sound weak or sick. The sound was soothing. Reassuring. “Oh, honey, you have no idea. But one day … one day, you will.”
That was highly unlikely, but I let it go.
“Kash doesn’t see it as drama or commitment, and neither does Oz. Surely, you see that.”
I cut my eyes at Kash, who was trying not to laugh. He looked smug.
“Kash lost his mind years ago, first time he got a look at Cressida. Like he’d been waiting to fall in love. And Oz is just batshit. I know he’s your son, but, Mom, he’s a stalker. Obsessive psycho.”
Mom laughed again. “He is not,” she said. “He was just protecting Winslet until he could admit he was in love with her.”
I turned my head to look at her. “Mom, seriously? What he did was not sane.”
She pressed her lips together, and her eyes twinkled with amusement. “Perhaps it was a little off-balance, but Winslet forgave him. She loves him just as fiercely.”
“I think she needs counseling myself,” I quipped.
“Oh, Forge,” Mom said with a chuckle. “Always my rule follower.”
Kash let out a bark of laughter. “Rule follower? Like hell. He’s just good at covering his tracks.”
The chime went off, signaling that someone had come inside the back door that led out to the five-car garage.
“Your father must be back,” Mom said, glancing down the hallway that led back there. “I told him to take his time. He rarely goes anywhere anymore.”
“He would rather be here with you,” I told her.
A soft expression touched her face. “And I love having him with me.”
The sound of the front door opening drew our attention toward it, and both Kash and I stood up.
No one just walked in other than Oz. But why would he and Dad be arriving at the same time?
Neither Kash nor I got very far before Oz appeared in the doorway, followed by Winslet, who was holding a gift in her hands.
“Warm enough?” Dad asked, coming up to Mom and placing his hands on her shoulders as he stood behind her.
She tilted her head back and gazed up at him. “Yes. The boys are keeping the fire nice and hot.”
He nodded, then glanced at the two of us before looking at Oz and giving him a nod.
“Well, isn’t this a pleasant surprise? I didn’t know I was going to have you all here at the same time,” Mom said. “How much longer does Cressida have in her class?”
Kash glanced at the time on his phone. “She’ll be done in about ten minutes. I think it wraps up at eleven.”
I hadn’t realized Cressida was here.
“I’m done,” her voice called out as she walked into the room.
Kash held out a hand to her and winked. God, they were mushy.
“How’d the test go?” he asked her.
“Eh, I think I did good,” she said with a small shrug.
“All right, now that we’re all here,” Dad said in a more jovial voice than he usually had. He waved a hand at Oz as if he was supposed to say something.
Oz was holding Winslet’s hand while she held the bright yellow package with a fancy-ass bow in her other. They looked at each other, and she held the present out to him. He didn’t take it right away, but whatever was silently being said between them had him reaching for it.
When he turned back to Mom, he let go of Winslet’s hand and went over to hand it to her.
“What is this? I’m getting presents, and it’s not even a holiday?” she asked.
“Yeah, it’s a special kind,” Oz told her.
She beamed at him, then looked over at Winslet. “It’s too pretty to unwrap.”
Winslet seemed to glow as she stood there silently.
“Go on. Open it up,” Oz said.
Mom straightened in her chair and slid the bow off, then took the lid off the box. Her eyes went wide, and her mouth formed an O as she stared down at whatever was inside.
What the fuck was going on? Had they upset her?
No, she looked surprised, but it was a happy kind, I thought. My eyes didn’t leave her face as I waited for her to say anything to clue us in on what they’d given her.
“We don’t know the sex yet. We wanted you to know first,” Oz said, and his words clicked.
Holy shit.
Mom sniffled as her grin spread across her face, and she reached inside to lift up a pair of tiny pink booties. “I’m gonna have myself a baby girl to spoil,” she squealed.
Dad’s deep laughter was the first I’d heard from him in months.
Winslet was staring at Oz as he swung his eyes to his wife. “What am I gonna do with a girl?” he asked, looking slightly terrified.
“Stalk her like you do her momma,” Kash replied, and the room broke into laughter. Real laughter. Not the fake shit we’d been doing since Mom’s diagnosis.
Winslet went into Oz’s arms, and he held her as he kissed her head, then shifted his eyes back to Mom. She was holding the small booties to her chest, and she looked healthier all of a sudden. Her cheeks had color, and her eyes didn’t mask any pain as they shone with happiness.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Dad said, leaning down to kiss Mom’s temple. “We are gonna have a little girl after all.”
Mom reached up and held on to his arm. “Yes, we are.”
“Congratulations!” Cressida said cheerily.
“Yeah, congrats,” Kash added.
Oz nodded as he stared down at Winslet.
“I like the sound of Uncle Forge. Has a ring to it.”
Oz glanced over at me and almost smiled.
For a moment, we weren’t thinking about Mom’s illness. And that was a moment I wanted to fucking sear into my brain. Hold on to tightly.
“Have you talked about names?” Mom asked, her eyes wide with wonder.
Winslet and Oz exchanged a glance, and then Winslet turned her gaze back to Mom. “Yes. We decided if it’s a girl, we’re going to name her Ellender Marley Savelle and call her Lindy for short.”
Mom’s breath came in at a stutter, and then she let out a small sob.
Dad whispered something in her ear and then looked up at my brother and his wife and mouthed the words, Thank you.
Ellender was not only my mother’s name, but her grandmother’s too.
Now her granddaughter would carry the name as well.
And Marley was the woman who had taken Winslet in and raised her after her mother’s death.
I didn’t know all the details, but that her mother had been abusive.
Marley was the only thing resembling a real mom she’d had.
“Oh my goodness,” Mom finally said shakily. “I feel like it’s Christmas all over again.”
I didn’t. Christmas had been fucking hard this year. Seeing Mom so goddamn happy was a hell of a lot better than it had been.
If only the small voice in the back of my head, which I had been trying to shut out, wasn’t there, reminding me that Mom might never see her namesake.
She might not get to hold her and rock her and sing her that song she always sang to us.
If there was a god—and I wasn’t real sure there was—he’d not take my momma before she got to be a grandmother.