Chapter Thirty
Thirty
Elsie
Before I was fully awake or opened my eyes, I could smell him. The warmth of his body against my back was the next thing that registered. Lastly, the hard ridge of his erection against my bare butt.
A tingle ran through me. He had stayed with me last night. Did that mean we would do more of the things we had last night? I hadn’t woken up all night long. I couldn’t remember dreaming, if I had. I felt rested and … not so heavy. The world didn’t seem as dark today.
Guilt crept in as I thought about it. Was I allowed to feel happiness? Shouldn’t that be impossible?
The arm Forge had over me moved, and his hand covered one of my breasts. A low, sleepy groan came from his chest. I watched his large, tanned hand knead the plump mound, and I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from making a sound. I wasn’t sure if he was asleep or not. If he woke up, would he stop?
His face buried into the back of my hair. “Mmm. Fuck, you smell good.” His voice was thick and raspy, sending goose bumps over my body.
I really liked waking up with him.
He rocked his hips, rubbing against me. The area between my legs was already damp, but that was making it much worse.
“You feel good too,” he murmured.
Just as I started to pant, he was gone.
“I’d better get up. Probably got fifty texts and calls from Oz about last night,” he said as he threw the covers back and got out of bed.
I turned to look at him while holding the sheet up to cover my nudity, which was dumb since he had seen it all last night.
He stretched, and the muscles in his back stood out as his butt tightened.
He was mouthwatering. The view was over too soon, and he bent down to grab his jeans and slid them up, not bothering with the boxers.
Leaving them unbuttoned, he snatched up his shirt and boxers, then glanced back to find me watching him.
He winked, then ran a hand through his messy hair. “Got to get to work,” he said. ‘Thanks for letting me crash in your bed.”
I lay there silently, not sure how to respond to that as he strode to the door. Without another backward glance, he opened it and left. I stared at the closed door for several minutes, not sure what had just happened or if that was as weird as I thought it was.
I hadn’t expected him to stay in here all night, sure, but he did. Then he’d just, felt me up, thanked me, and left?
When I shivered this time, it wasn’t from excitement or pleasure.
The smell of him on the sheets made my stomach clench.
I had to take a shower. Get his scent off me.
I wasn’t handling this right. I knew that.
He hadn’t come in here, declaring love. We’d just messed around.
I’d done that before. I just hadn’t felt that way about someone or been so completely blissful and in the moment.
That was all new to me. But clearly, it hadn’t been new to him, or he hadn’t experienced the same emotions I had.
As much as I wanted to curl up in the bed and be sad, I knew it would only make things worse. I had to get up, take a shower, and get over it.
Forge hadn’t done anything wrong. He’d given me more pleasure than I’d known was possible. But it seemed that, much like his cousin, I wasn’t the girl who would change his world. I wouldn’t be his one.
The things he’d said in the heat of the moment last night, like being addicted to my taste, were just things he probably said to every girl. In the light of day, he couldn’t get away from me fast enough.
Dragging myself from the bed, I went to the bathroom and turned on the shower.
While waiting on the water to get hot, I glanced over my shoulder at the girl in the mirror.
There had been times when I stood in front of the one in my bedroom, trying to decide what I could do to get Calvin to see me in a different light.
Picked apart all my faults. I had moved past that. I wouldn’t start it up again.
“You are beautiful, Elsie. Perfect just the way you are. Never change yourself for someone else.” My mom’s words replayed in my head.
Tears stung my eyes. I could still hear her voice so clearly, but would that always be true?
Would that fade in time? Would there be a day when I couldn’t remember the sound of her voice?
My phone, with all my pictures and videos of my parents, was gone.
Destroyed. I didn’t know if I would get to go inside my home and pack up things of theirs, mine.
All the memories, videos, files might all be lost to me.
Letting out a sob, I stepped into the shower.
The kitchen was empty, but talking and laughter filtered down the hallway from the great room.
I’d taken my time this morning, written Calvin a letter, and waited until everyone coming to eat breakfast would be finished.
I was so unsure of how to navigate things with Forge now.
We’d not had sex, but I’d never done any sexual things with a friend before.
We were friends—at least, I thought we were.
God, this was awful. Why was I so awkward?
Standing in the empty room, I looked around, not really hungry, but unsure of what else to do.
If I stayed in my room, then it would be noticed and questioned since I had escaped last night so hastily.
Chewing my bottom lip, I stared at the fancy espresso machine and decided I could drink some coffee.
“You’re a late sleeper,” Wayon said behind me.
I winced at the sound of his voice, then plastered a smile on my face before turning around. His blond hair was damp, as if he had just taken a shower. I hadn’t realized they were staying the night here. Great. That meant Lula Mae was still here.
“Not always,” I replied. And not today. I’d been up for hours.
He smirked. “If I can sleep in, I do. Doesn’t happen often,” he told me as he walked past me and toward the espresso machine. “So, you and Forge got a thing.”
I tensed up, already shaking my head. “No, uh … no. Not at all.”
Wayon flashed me an amused grin before taking down a mug. “You realize you flush bright red when you lie.”
Crap. I wasn’t lying. But I was embarrassed.
“I’m not lying. Really. We are just friends,” I explained. Hoping that was accurate.
“Yeah, I’m calling bullshit on that,” he said with a small shake of his head. He began working the machine with ease. He seemed to have no problem figuring it out. “But I won’t pry. If it’s a secret though, neither of you are doing a good job at covering it up.”
I opened my mouth and closed it, grappling for the right words to say.
“I’ve already got one of the Mississippi boys wanting me dead over a woman. Don’t want to add to my tally,” he drawled, sounding as if it was funny instead of anything he was really concerned with.
“Forge doesn’t—he, uh … wouldn’t want you dead. Especially over me,” I stammered.
“I’m not agreeing with you on that one, sweetheart.
I know a territorial man when I see one.
And Forge Savelle was ready to rip me apart last night.
Until you left me, I was enjoying the buildup.
Probably shouldn’t have baited him though,” he said with a shrug, cutting his eyes back at me. “But damn if I don’t enjoy the drama.”
There it was. The dark glint of danger in his eyes.
It was something I’d seen in the others at times, but with Wayon and his clean-cut appearance, it wasn’t so easy to spot.
He hadn’t appeared to be a threat until just now.
The detached void in his gaze made me shiver.
But it was gone just as quickly. The easygoing smile was back as he took his cup from the machine and took a sip.
I no longer wanted coffee. Instead, I’d rather get away from this man who wasn’t what he seemed. It was hard to imagine Forge killing anyone, even with his bad-boy appearance. But Wayon? I could see it. I had seen it in his eyes. A chilling coldness, as if he reveled in any threat.
What to say to get out of here, I wasn’t sure exactly. I’d already run from him once.
“Morning.”
Forge’s voice brought several things. Relief, butterflies, and then anxiety. I wasn’t ready to face him.
“We were just talking about you,” Wayon said.
Forge didn’t even look his way. His gaze was locked on me.
“You good?” The concern was clear in his tone.
I wasn’t doing a good job of acting as if last night and this morning in my bed were no big deal.
I nodded.
“Yeah, definitely nothing going on there,” Wayon said smugly as he started toward the door.
My gaze swung to him, and he winked as if we shared a secret. We did not.
I stared down at the floor instead of Forge once Wayon was gone. Eye contact seemed too difficult. I was making this weird, but I didn’t know how to handle it. I was out of my depth.
“Pickles?”
Crap. He was calling me Pickles again. I was going to have to look at him and get this over with.
Lifting my head, I did my best to smile. “Yeah, so, that was … odd,” I said with a shrug. “He’s confused about things.”
Forge raised a single eyebrow. “Things being us?”
“Yeah,” I replied, wishing I’d just stayed in my room.
The corner of his mouth quirked. “I’d like to keep it that way. He’ll stop his flirting shit,” Forge replied. “Besides, he was in the room across from yours last night. He most likely heard us.”
If it were possible for my face to burst into flames, it would have. A hand shot up and covered my mouth as I stared at Forge in horror. He chuckled, watching me.
“You were a little loud, Pickles, not that I’m complaining.”
I was going to die right here on this spot.
“Relax,” he said soothingly, then stepped closer and ran his fingers through some of my hair.
“It’s all good. No need to be all shy and embarrassed.
We enjoyed ourselves. Fuck knows we both needed it.
” He nodded his head toward the door. “I gotta go to a meeting, but when I get back, we’ll go swimming, yeah? ”
Swimming. Okay, that sounded nice.
Maybe this was going to be fine after all. I just had to learn to go with it. He was right; I had needed last night. Not just because it had felt amazing, but because I hadn’t felt alone. Lost.
“Yeah,” I agreed.
There was nowhere else I’d rather be than with him. That might end up being a terrible thing, but it was my truth.