Chapter 5
Chapter Five
Lauren
I untack Lucky and put him in his stall for the night, releasing a sigh as I take in the gorgeous sunset. When I pull out my phone, I have yet another text from Jax. They’ve been coming all week, but this one still sets butterflies loose in my stomach, and I don’t know what to do with the feeling.
Jax
If you don’t check something off your list today I’m going to have to come over again and make sure you do
Little does he realize how unmotivating that is.
I want Jax to come over again. He’s been around the ranch for the past week, like he promised, but he’s mostly been working with the other cowboys.
I miss the smile in his eyes when I talk with him and the feeling of his gentle touch. It’s both torturous and confusing.
My list has been staring at me for a week. Jax has been texting me to check in on my progress, but all I’ve been able to tick off is reading for fun, which I only did because he dragged me to the dang bookstore.
I’ve told him I’ve been busy. It’s true.
Even at this time of year, there’s still a lot to be done on the ranch, and I’ve been spending any free moment I have on research.
I’m now hoping to implement adaptive multi-paddock—or AMP—grazing at the ranch.
It involves dividing our fields into smaller pastures where we plant different crops and continuously moving our livestock through each paddock.
This should help return the cattle to their natural inclination to graze and cut down on the cost of feed.
Except implementing this strategy means I have to get a move on studying what the soil needs in each section of the ranch.
Everything I’ve read tells me I need to consider what the cattle need and how they’re going to best move through the various paddocks so we can begin zoning and planting in late winter to early spring.
I’m trying not to let myself spiral thinking about all the work that will be involved in making this happen.
My phone vibrates in my hand again, and I’m grateful for a distraction from the chaos in my head.
Jax
Don’t ghost me Freckles. I know where you live.
Me
I need to look at the list again. Let me check when I get home in 5 mins. I’ll do something tonight
Promise?
Promise
I’m going to check in on you so don’t lie
I bite back the stupid smile on my face and slide the barn door closed behind me, getting into my truck and driving to my corner of the property.
As soon as I get to the house, I walk into my room and scan the list. My eyes snag on number two. It seems simple enough. If I don’t put too much thought into it, I can do it.
I quickly send two texts. One to Jax—
Me
2) Cut my Hair
And one to the person I know will be supportive when I want to make a rash decision.
Me
I’m feeling impulsive. Can you hang out tonight?
Callie
Hell yeah! What kind of trouble are we getting into??
“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when you sent your text,” Callie says as she plays with my hair, carefully assessing it. “What inspired the sudden impulse?”
I swing my legs off the chair I’m sitting in, assessing the decorative pattern in the tile of Callie’s bathroom floor. “Jax helped me make this stupid list of things I could do now that I’m single again. This was number two.”
“Jax?”
“Yeah.” I try to keep things brief, but she stares me down with this look that cracks me open. I leave out the parts about all the crap I’ve been dealing with, but I wind up spilling the story of Austin harassing me at the bar, Jax punching him, me trying to kiss him, and everything that followed.
“Oh my god! You and Jax!”
I leap from my seat as if I’m afraid someone will hear us, even though we’re in the privacy of Callie’s house. Even if someone were trying to eaves drop, the sheer volume of plants on her bathroom windowsill would surely do something to muffle our conversation.
“No way. Jax is a player, and he’s my brother’s best friend. Plus, I just got out of a relationship. Nothing is going on.” My words are as much for me as they are for her.
She nods and presses her lips together tightly as she digs through the top drawer for scissors. “I’m not saying you’re ready for anything yet, but maybe someday when you are…I don’t think Jax would do all that for just anyone.”
“Probably not, but he’s doing it for Charlie. He’s always just seen me as his friend’s little sister.”
Callie shrugs then claps her hands. When she shifts the direction of the conversation, I’m incredibly grateful. “Okay, what length are you thinking? I have some ideas, but I want your input first.”
“I’m thinking just past my shoulders.” I hold my hand up to show her where I want my hair to sit. It’ll be a substantial change from my hair now, which sits at the middle of my back. “I still want to be able to put it up in a bun or a braid.”
She continues to assess my hair, then grabs a chunk. “I have a vision. Be patient and let me work my magic.”
Before I have a chance to say anything back, she snips off the first piece. A whole bunch of curse words I won’t say out loud cross my mind. This is actually happening.
“No going back now.” Callie smirks.
She goes to work, and I play a game of counting the number of colors in Callie’s bathroom to distract myself from the nerves.
I’m at ten, but it’s not working, so I close my eyes.
Maybe I shouldn’t have been so impulsive.
I’ve never been the kind of person who acts on a whim. I like to plan. And plan. And plan.
Callie catches me pinching my eyes shut. “Lauren, you look amazing! Stop worrying.”
“I think I should’ve thought this through.”
“You had it on your freaking list. That means you’ve been thinking about it for years. Jax was right. It’s time you finally did something for yourself.” She fluffs my hair. “You look incredible.”
“Are you almost done?” I peek an eye open.
“Yeah, I just need to do one final check.” She circles around me, her eyes laser focused on my hair. She snips two more pieces around the back and then shouts, “Bellissimo!”
She opens her middle drawer and pulls out a tiny hand mirror, decorated with yellow suns on the rim. Tugging me from the chair she hands it to me and spins me around.
When I take in my reflection in the large mirror, I feel a whole swirl of emotions. Without even trying, I’m smiling, and I can’t stop. I feel beautiful and lighter, and not just because I have less hair on my head.
Putting her hands on her hips, Callie says, “How does it feel to have finally done something for yourself?”
“Really good.” I press my hands to my cheeks, which are growing red from all the excitement.
“We have to show you off. Let’s go to the Long Neck!” Callie is already scrambling out of the bathroom and grabbing her purse from the hook by her front door. “This will be perfect. You can show Jax your new look too. We have to go.”
“Are you serious?”
“Of course.” She looks down at her sweatpants, grimacing. “But we both definitely need to change first.” She wraps her hand around mine and bolts down the hallway.
When I walk into the bar, I’m incredibly nervous.
Nothing about my look tonight resembles the old Lauren.
My hair is five inches shorter. I’m wearing a black leather top Callie gave me and a pair of her bootcut jeans which she said made my “peach look extra juicy.” Whatever that means.
All that’s mine are my boots and the necklace my mom gave me on my sixteenth birthday.
Even the eyeshadow and lip gloss on my face belong to Callie, but between her knack for knowing how to accent a person’s best features and her constant compliments, I’ve managed to keep my head held high and even start to feel kind of pretty. Scratch that. I feel really pretty.
As we make our way to the bar, I can’t help but notice the way people are looking at me.
My mind takes off running with all the bad things they must be thinking.
My new look probably seems like a cry for help.
I’m sure they think I’m having some sort of breakup crisis.
I start to shrink back, my shoulders caving in as I keep my head down.
“Hey, gorgeous, you better keep your head up or people won’t be able to see your beautiful face.” Callie tilts my chin.
“People are staring. I already know what they’re thinking.”
“They’re only staring because you’re glowing. You are crushing the single life right now, and it shows.” She links her arm in mine. “Come on. Let’s go find Jax.”
As we approach the bar, my eyes immediately fall on Jax. He’s already looking at me, despite the chaos of the other bartenders scrambling to serve their demanding customers.
He meets us at the bar with a wide smile on his face. “You did it. You look…”
“Doesn’t she look stunning?” Callie clings on to me, beaming with pride.
Jax just nods, swallowing thickly. I tuck my hair behind my ear and draw my eyes down to the ground as heat rises to my cheeks. When my eyes bounce back up to him, he’s still looking.
“Earth to Jax.” Callie waves her hand in front of his face. “Can we get some drinks?”
Jax nods his head. “Ranch water for Miss Callie. What about you, Freckles. Not whiskey this time, I hope?”
“Definitely not whiskey. How about a Lonestar?”
He barrels off, and I watch him go. Callie spins to me, her eyes wide. “Oh my god! Did you see his face? He couldn’t stop staring! I told you you’re glowing.”
I wave her off. “That doesn’t mean a thing. You know Jax is a flirt.”
“Has he ever flirted with you before?”
I pause. “I don’t think so. That’d be kind of wrong considering Charlie’s his best friend.”
“Ooh, forbidden romance. I like it.” Callie wiggles her brows.
I roll my eyes and shoot her a glare as if to say zip it at the same time Jax returns with our drinks.