Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Lauren
Jax met me at five o’clock this morning to help me around the ranch, but we haven’t spoken much.
I’m sort of relieved. I’ve needed the time outside with my horse, working with my hands, to process everything.
Plus, I really don’t want to talk with him about the nasty things Austin said to me last night.
I don’t even want to think about any of it.
The silver lining is those belittling and shaming words opened up my mind to the possibility that maybe our relationship ending wasn’t because I wasn’t good enough to keep us together.
Maybe that’s at least one place in my life I didn’t fail, because no human should ever talk to someone the way Austin did to me last night.
I’m thankful Callie was there with me to help me see that, but I kind of wish she were around today to keep me from beating myself up for not seeing it sooner.
“Will you help me with this last bale of hay?” I ask as I lift one end.
Jax lifts the other end, drawing my attention to his taut forearms, just as my phone starts ringing.
“Shoot! I need to check this.” I drop the bale. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of someone from Herford about a bull for our July calving season.”
Jax sets down his end of the bale, swiping his forehead. “Go ahead. I can wait.”
When I pluck my phone out of my pocket, my brother’s name is staring at me on the screen. Huh, not who I was expecting.
I swipe the answer button, lifting the phone up to my ear.
“Hey, Char. What’s up?”
I briefly register the wince on Jax’s face before Charlie explodes. “What the hell happened last night? Why did Jax have to pick you up from the sheriff at Austin’s parents’ place?”
“Well, hello to you too. Things are going well. Thanks for asking.”
As a strained silence hangs on the other end of the phone, I scrunch my face in annoyance at Jax. Charlie starts yelling at me again as I spin around and step out of the barn.
Unable to stand the chastising anymore, I cut in. “I know I was being stupid. It’s not going to happen again, but honestly, I kind of needed last night.”
“What do you mean? You needed to break into your ex-boyfriend’s backyard and steal his dog?”
“Technically it was his parents’ backyard, but no. I needed the clarity. Stop being so harsh about all of this. You’re my brother, not my dad.”
“But Mom and Dad don’t know, right?”
I dig my boot into the dirt. “I don’t know. Up until thirty seconds ago, I didn’t think you knew either.”
“I couldn’t believe it when I heard. What happened to goody-two-shoes Lauren?”
“I had a couple drinks and was influenced by Callie.”
Charlie clears his throat. “Callie Fletcher? How long have you two been hanging out?”
“I don’t know. Since June or July?”
“How come I didn’t know about this?”
I shrug, leaning against the wooden fence behind me. “Because you’re never here.”
“You know it’s hard for me to come home. It’s complicated, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to hear about your life.”
“But you get weird when I mention Callie’s name.”
“I do not,” he says, his voice coming out two octaves too high.
“Yes, you do.” I mimic his tone, fighting back laughter.
“Okay, this isn’t about me. This is about you. Are you okay? Do I need to tell Mom and Dad? You’re worrying me.”
“Char, I love you, but if you tell them, I will come to California and murder you with my bare hands. You know they don’t need the extra stress in their lives.
” I glance past the fence, grounding myself by counting the cattle spread across the pasture.
“Besides, last night was nothing to make a big fuss about. Like I said, it was exactly what I needed to finally feel like I can move on.”
“Would you tell me if you weren’t okay?”
“Yeah,” I say automatically, shoving my free hand into my back pocket.
“And I promise I am. The best I’ve been since I broke up with Austin.
” Swiveling back in the direction of the barn, I catch Jax checking on me through one of the windows.
My heart flutters, and I realize I might actually be telling the truth.
“I know I’m not there, but I’ll always pick up the phone when you need me. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I peel myself away from the fence. “Promise you won’t tell Mom and Dad?”
“As long as you don’t get into any more trouble, which I will hear about. You know Jax is always keeping an eye on you for me.”
I steal a glance back at the barn, doing my best to deflect from what these nonstop flutters might mean. “Yeah, I do. That little snitch.”
Charlie snickers.
“Talk to you later.”
“Wait.” There’s a long pause, and I can tell he’s working up the courage to say whatever it is he has left to say. “Have you and Callie ever talked about me?”
Charlie and Callie dated for a couple years in high school and into college, but they broke things off when Charlie decided he wouldn’t be returning to Roots.
I know it was his decision, but I still think he broke his own heart in the process.
I can’t help but think there’s more to the story. They seemed so happy together.
“No, she hasn’t said anything,” I say softly.
“That’s okay. That’s what I figured. It’s been years.”
“It doesn’t mean she doesn’t still care for you.”
“I mean, why would she? I changed my mind on her. I was the one who left.”
I’m quiet. I can’t argue with him, and I don’t know how to make it any better.
“Anyway, I’m glad to hear you’re doing better, Lo. Can you give me a call every now and then, so I don’t have to hear all about your life from Jax?”
“Yeah, I can do that. Talk later.”
I hang up, brushing aside the little bit of sadness that has come over me and putting on my game face as I storm into the barn.
“You tattled to my brother?”
Jax straightens up, sticking his hands out in defense as I barrel toward him. “I didn’t tattle. I just thought someone close to you needed to know what was going on. I figured he was better than your parents.”
I press my finger into his chest and step so close that the toes of our boots touch. My pulse is pounding faster and faster, and I can’t decipher whether I’m angrier than I thought or if it’s just being this close to Jax that’s causing it.
“You don’t have any business going to Charlie about things. I’m almost twenty-four years old. I run the largest ranch in the county. I can handle myself.”
“I’m sorry. I was only looking out for you.”
I soften a bit at his words, dropping my finger from his chest and taking a step back. “I know. I guess I’ve forgotten over the last couple weeks that you’re Charlie’s friend. You’ve almost felt like—” I shake my head. “Never mind. It’s stupid.”
“What?”
“You’ve been there for me lately, but this was a wake-up call. Your loyalty obviously lies with Charlie.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t care about you too.” He reaches out to me, pulling me into a hug, and I allow it. He’s covered in dirt and smells like a mixture of hay and manure, but I still don’t think there’s a better feeling than being in Jax’s arms.
“Can we talk about last night yet?” he whispers.
“What about it?” I glance up at him as nerves bundle in my stomach.
“Well, for starters, you clearly need a dog.”
I laugh to cover the flash of pain his words bring. “I’d love a dog, but that’s not in the cards for me right now. Life is too hectic. I do miss Poker though, more than Austin apparently.”
His chest vibrates against me, and the rich laughter that pours from his lungs sends shivers down my spine. What is happening to me? This is my brother’s best friend. I shouldn’t be looking at him like this. But I can’t help the way his presence simultaneously calms me and ignites me.
“That’s my girl. I like hearing you laugh and seeing you look less…beaten down.”
His blue eyes shimmer as he gazes down at me. I stiffen, but inside I’m melting. That’s my girl. I love the sound of that.
He must sense my hesitation because he clears his throat and releases me, backing away. “You said you were ready to check another item off your list. Are you still going to dinner alone tonight?”
The nerves are back, swirling in my stomach. Now that the excitement of last night has worn off, I’m not feeling so brave anymore. I shake my head. “No, I changed my mind.”
He bends down, wrapping his arms around the lower half of my knees and throwing me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
I gasp. “What are you doing?”
“I’m just doing what you asked: dragging you kicking and screaming. If you could not kick and scream though I’d really appreciate it.