18. A house built for silence – 1980
An argument had started just before they’d got on the train but her mum had refused to keep it going in the carriage with the other passengers listening in.
Ursula had to wait until they were on the platform to pick it up again.
‘Why are you being so horrible about it? I actually think you don’t like Anton. ’
‘Don’t be silly. I don’t dislike him. But he’s very different to you, and I don’t think you’ve really thought about how that’s going to affect you if you marry.’
It had been like this from the day he’d proposed.
Ursula had blurted the news out as soon as her mum got home, hardly able to keep it in.
She’d been expecting celebrations when all she got was a stiff look and a suggestion that she was rushing into it.
It was her father’s fault. If he hadn’t treated them so badly, her mum wouldn’t see him in every man she came into contact with. ‘He’s nothing like him, you know.’
‘Him? I take it you mean your father? I didn’t say he was. Bernard was very charismatic.’
‘Anton’s charismatic.’
Her mum gave her a knowing smile, just to let her know she was being ridiculous.
Ursula really didn’t need telling, she knew it already.
She loved Anton but even she had to admit he would never, ever be charismatic.
Nor would he ever be exciting. Not in Andi’s sense of the word anyway.
Trying to change Andi’s mind was also a lost cause.
She was another one who was dead against it but that was probably because she was convinced Ursula had gone off the idea of them getting their own shop, which was absolute nonsense.
All she was doing was getting married. Nothing else was going to change.
‘You need to tell Cassandra.’ It was her mum’s parting shot before turning off.
‘I will.’
‘Today.’
Ursula tutted. ‘I said I will.’
She knocked on the door to Cass’s office.
It was the third time she’d tried. The first time, she’d heard Cass’s raised voice and had taken that to mean she was on the phone and the call wasn’t going well, so she’d gone back upstairs for half an hour.
The second knock had been met with a sharp: ‘Not now,’ so off she’d gone again.
This time, the knock was answered by the door opening.
Cass looked like the blood had been drained from her face.
The only bit of colour came from her bloodshot eyes.
The sight of her made Ursula want to run back upstairs again but it was too late for that now.
She was getting married in six weeks and Cass needed to know.
Admittedly, she should have told her earlier, but after all the flak she’d been receiving from her mum and Andi, Ursula had put it off for as long as possible.
Stupid really because Cass didn’t know Anton enough to have an opinion on him.
Cass folded her arms and let out a short but loud sigh. ‘Well?’
‘I just wanted to let you know I’m getting married.’
‘You’re getting married.’
‘Yes,’ she replied, even though it hadn’t been a question. ‘On 4th April.’
‘4th April.’ Again, not a question.
‘Yep. I’d like two weeks off.’
‘You know that’s the week I was planning to launch the new collection.’
‘I’m sorry, Cass. It’s the only time Anton can fit it in.’
‘Sounds like he’s got his priorities in the right order then.’
‘He’s very busy.’
‘I’ll bet he is.’
‘Is it okay then, the holiday?’
‘No, but what choice do I have?’
Ursula backed away. ‘Thanks. Sorry again.’
‘For what it’s worth, I think you’re making a huge mistake.’
For fuck’s sake. Could no one be happy for her? That was it. The very last and final straw. ‘Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t.’
‘Please yourself,’ said Cass, right before she slammed the door shut.
Ursula gripped Anton’s hand tightly, afraid she might trip up and ruin her brand-new coat if she didn’t. He’d bought it for her while they were on their honeymoon and it had been so expensive, she was almost frightened to wear it. ‘Can I open my eyes yet?’
‘Absolutely not. Don’t spoil the surprise.’
She shook her head but kept her eyes closed. ‘It’s not as if I haven’t seen it before.’
‘I know but not since it’s been finished. Be patient. We’re almost there. Take a step up.’
She tapped her toe around gingerly until she found the step.
It was a bit silly really but she didn’t want to ruin it for him.
The wedding had been a quiet register office ceremony with very few guests.
Her mum, Andi, and Wanda were there. Her nan, the only other member of what she considered family, had died four years ago.
Cass had been invited but she’d opted to look after the shop instead.
It was probably for the best. Even though her mum had said it was okay to invite her, it would have made things difficult.
Anton’s only guests were two friends from London who she’d never met.
He hadn’t even invited his work colleagues.
It wasn’t the kind of wedding she’d expected to have but it was okay.
At least her dress had been beautiful, thanks to her mum who had actually cried at the ceremony.
And the honeymoon had been really interesting.
A lot of it had involved looking at buildings, but that was what you got for marrying an architect.
There was a sound behind her, the closing of a door, she thought.
She listened for the other noises around her.
Nothing. Silence. No more birdsong, or traffic, or anything.
Just the sound of her own breathing. Anton let go of her hand but he was still very close.
She could feel him next to her. ‘You can open them now.’
She opened her eyes and was stunned by the brightness.
The last time she’d been inside the house was the day Anton had proposed to her.
It had seemed big then but now that it was finished, now that it was so white and polished and dazzling, it looked enormous.
There was furniture in the room and there were paintings on the walls but it was the space between them that she noticed.
Anton was watching her intently. ‘Do you like it?’
‘Of course. It’s absolutely beautiful.’ She wasn’t really lying. She didn’t hate it. She didn’t actually know how she felt about it but, as Anton had already joked on their honeymoon, she knew nothing about taste when it came to house building. ‘It’s very quiet.’
‘I have built it for silence. The walls and windows, I could go into the technical details but you won’t understand.’
‘Try me.’
He shook his head. ‘It would be a waste of time. It’s beyond you.’
He was probably joking again but it still stung.
He surveyed his work with an air of satisfaction that, hurt as she was, turned her on.
When he showed her upstairs she was definitely going to tear his clothes off and jump on him.
Not down here though, not with those enormous windows.
Any passer-by could see. She pulled him towards the stairs.
‘What will you do now you’ve finished your passion project? ’
He reached out to her and she prepared herself for long, lingering kiss. It didn’t come. Instead, he tidied a loose strand of hair that had fallen over her face. ‘I will find another one.’