39. Only a patch of land
ONLY A PATCH OF LAND
Dilys had died. The news came in that afternoon.
What with that and Esme’s outburst, Andi seemed to have forgotten all about Anton and his hauntings.
Ursula hoped that was the case, anyway. At dinner, Brett slipped out another news bulletin.
He and Gareth were a couple. It was official.
No one was surprised. Although Esme wasn’t there.
She was still holed up in the bothy. It seemed only right after that to invite Don and Brett to the pub.
No one wanted to miss out on a drink so they walked into Bala.
On the way in, Don confessed that he’d invited Megan along: ‘I thought she might need cheering up, what with Dilys passing.’ It was a nice thought and perhaps it wasn’t just Megan who needed cheering up.
None of them seemed to be in the happiest of moods.
They took the lake walk so they could watch the sun setting and have a minute’s silence to remember Dilys.
Since she didn’t know Dilys, Ursula spent the time remembering other sunsets with Samuel.
And then she realised she hadn’t thought about him or the allotment for a few days.
The others were already back on the path into town.
She caught up, still wondering how she could have forgotten to think about them.
As compensation now, she made herself think about how she’d be outside Samuel’s shed watching the same sun go down, if she were there at this moment.
Megan and Gareth came into the pub while Don and Brett were at the bar getting the first round. ‘How are you doing?’ said Andi.
Megan looked weary with grief. ‘You know, getting on with it. I said to Gareth, it’s a release really. I just wish it felt like one. We should have a date for the funeral tomorrow.’
‘I’d like to go,’ said Andi.
‘Thank you. Howard will appreciate that. Don’s thinking of going as well.’ She looked up at Don as he came back with a tray of drinks. ‘Aren’t you, Don? Thinking of going to the funeral.’
‘I am, Megan.’ He put a glass of white wine down in front of her. ‘Here, my love, get that down you. Gareth looking after you, is he?’
‘He is. And so is Brett. I’m so glad my Gare’s got someone nice.
’ She blew her nose. ‘Sorry, I’m a right drama queen at the moment.
Slightest thing and I’m off. But the good news is they’ve come out about it now, and everybody’s been happy for them.
’ She waved to Gareth and Brett who were still at the bar. ‘Well, everybody except you know who.’
‘Oh, they told Esme?’ said Ursula.
‘Yesterday. They went up to the bothy together and told her. Needless to say she was her usual nasty piece of work. Still, I hear she got her comeuppance today, Andi.’
Don shuffled sheepishly on his seat. ‘Sorry, Andi, I might have mentioned it.’
‘Might have mentioned it? He couldn’t wait to tell me. Proper old gossip is our Donald. Slammed the door on her, he said. The house shook apparently.’ Megan raised her glass. ‘Good for you, lady. It’s been a long time coming if you ask me. What are you gonna do about her?’
‘I haven’t decided yet, but that explains why she was in such a spiteful mood.
’ Andi caught Ursula’s eye. Clearly that was all she was prepared to tell the others at this point.
Although, there was a chance Don had heard everything.
And even if not, Ursula didn’t rule out the possibility that Esme had told him Pablo’s whereabouts too.
To Ursula’s relief, Anton was not watching her from the hill when she drew the curtains that morning.
Perhaps telling Andi was all she’d needed to banish him.
Mr Big Potatoes was however on his usual spot on the windowsill.
She let him in and he rubbed himself gratefully against her.
There was something very soothing about it, and she needed soothing this morning.
She’d been thinking about that flat in Leyton again.
How Anton had stood outside all that time, waiting for her to notice him.
It had touched her, but it wasn’t the reason she’d gone back with him.
The reason was fear. She could see that now that she’d been revisiting her past in such vivid detail.
Pablo had been right in a way when he’d said she was uptight, but she would have called it something else.
Conditioned. She’d become conditioned to Anton’s regime, to his likes and dislikes.
So, of course, she went back with him and, of course, she never left him again because anything outside of that carefully constructed stronghold frightened her.
That’s not to say she didn’t think about it now and again, but the fear set in and instead she made do with minor disobediences.
Small acts of defiance that rattled him much more than they should have done.
And that was how she managed to carve out a tolerable life.
Through the window she saw Andi walking towards the hill.
It looked like she was going to the bothy.
Ursula went down to the kitchen. There was no one in there and she ate breakfast alone, then went outside.
Andi was on her way back and she stopped at the vegetable garden to wait for her.
A closer inspection of Esme’s salad leaves explained why Don had preferred the shop-bought variety.
Not only were they thin and straggly, they’d been left to bolt: if you let them flower, the leaves become bitter.
Andi had reached her on the path. ‘It needs an overhaul.’
‘Yes, it does.’
‘It’s Pab’s really. He started it with the kids when we first came here. Esme claimed it after he left. I’ve been up to see her. Told her to shape up or ship out. She’s moving back in.’
‘You’re giving her another chance.’
She nodded. ‘A last chance. I might be a soft cow but I’m not a complete walkover.
I’ve said I want the bothy put back to the way it was before she took up residence.
It’s in a disgusting state, after Brett worked so hard to make it habitable as well.
I’m so pissed off about it, I nearly threw her out there and then.
If you want to have a go at the garden, just say. ’
‘Maybe. I’ll think about it.’
‘Okay. Coffee? And then we can get on with that dress.’
It had been a good day. All morning, she and Andi had worked together on the dress and she’d managed it without getting the shakes.
After lunch, they’d popped to Bala and stopped off at Megan’s café.
They were back now and Ursula was in the lounge looking at a photo Clyde had sent her of Colonel waiting at her shed door for biscuits.
She sent him a message to ask how things were.
A minute later he was calling her. ‘That dog’s vexing me something bad.
You’d better come back soon, Ursula, before he drives me crazy. How you doing? You good now?’
‘I think so. I don’t know when I’m coming back yet though. How are things there?’
‘Same as usual. Nothing changes much here. There’s a committee meeting tonight. They got an update from the council, so we might know more about what’s happening with those allotments. It’s a busy night. I got a big dominoes match as well. I’ll have to shoot straight off.’
‘Will you have time to message me if there’s any news?’
‘Sure. No problem.’
A crashing cymbal-like sound announced that dinner was ready. ‘Sorry, Clyde, the dinner gong’s just gone. I’ve got to go.’
He started to laugh. ‘You got a dinner gong? What kind of a place they got you in, woman?’
Ursula was chuckling to herself all the way to the kitchen, and her good mood was only slightly spoiled by Esme’s usual filthy look.
At least the others were their usual selves.
In fact, it was as if they’d decided the best way to get through the meal was to pretend Esme wasn’t there, and the chat went on without any deliberate attempts to include her.
After dinner, Ursula helped Andi wash up. She showed Andi the photo of Colonel waiting at her shed door and before she knew it, she was talking about her allotment and all the things she grew on there. She noticed Andi was smiling at her. ‘What?’
‘Nothing. It’s just that you’ve gone all glowy. You must really love that place.’
‘Well, you know, it’s good to be growing things. To feel like you’ve nurtured something. It’s given me some…’ She was going to say purpose but she stopped herself. She was already feeling a bit silly.
She was saved by her phone pinging in her back pocket.
Clyde had sent her a message. She opened it up and read that the council had given up on the car park idea for those four abandoned allotments, including Samuel’s.
It was up to the committee to decide what to do next, but it looked like they were going to tidy them up, ready to be let out again.
‘Everything okay?’ said Andi.
‘It’s just an update on a friend’s allotment. Nothing to worry about.’ She slipped the phone back into her pocket. It was only a patch of land. Nothing more. She just had to keep reminding herself of that.