Chapter 29 - Dean
Dean
We arrived late, none of us willing to spend another night away from Deer Lake.
I accompanied Weston partway home to ensure no harm came to him before leaving to find Lily asleep in our makeshift bed.
I stripped and plunged a washcloth into freezing water. A quick scrub with soap, and I smelled like flowers. She deserved better than the stench of filthy water and travel. “Lily. It’s me.” I pressed a couple of fingers to her shoulders, not wanting to frighten her.
She jerked before lashing out and settling back into her restless sleep.
I tried again. “It’s me. I’m back.”
“Dean.” She jerked upright. “It’s you. You’re back.” Lily scooted out of the sleeping bag and launched herself into my arms.
I chuckled at the way she repeated my words. “Later than I planned.”
“Are you hungry?”
I ate better on the expedition than at any time since we arrived in Deer Lake. “Hungry for your presence.”
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.”
“You knew I would. Why wouldn’t I?” I held her and kissed her, welcoming her presence as much as she did mine.
Her face scrunched up, so I thought she’d cry. “Let me be afraid for a little while.”
“I’m here. It took longer than planned, that’s all.” Lily shivered as the hairs on her body stood up. “It’s cold. Let’s climb back in the sleeping bag so I can hold you.”
A single candle lit our small room, enough to chase out the bitter black.
I zipped up the sleeping bag and pulled her into my arms, stroking the soft skin.
“I had nightmares. They’re hazy, but I remember being frightened.”
“Comet dreams. That’s not unusual.”
“From lingering trauma?”
From my absence. They were brutal on the return home and lessened every night in Deer Lake. I thought they’d disappeared. “They’ll fade with time. They’re your mind processing at night what you can’t during the day.”
“You speak from experience,” she guessed.
“You don’t consider me stoic now, do you? It’s difficult to describe what I saw out there. Coming back here, we drove around towns and kept to ourselves.”
“I remember.”
“Not this time. Lily…I…it’s brutal. Hell in a cold swamp.” I wiped my eyes, as if that banished the memories.
Leaving Deer Lake also wasn’t a one-time foraging mission. The second was scheduled in five days, assuming the orders from Sheriff Gustafson stood.
Lily needed to know, and I’d tell her after we reconnected. After her warmth and her sweet scent infected my body and chased away the rest. To exist with her, because the outside world didn’t matter.
I drew air into my lungs.
“Does this mean Deer Lake isn’t so awful after all?” she asked.
Logic dictated that better existed somewhere else. We lived in a big world, despite the comet’s damage. Still, if it did, I hadn’t seen it.
“My grandfather. I should check on him.”
“We should check on him,” she corrected.
My last remaining family, if you didn’t count Lily. He probably celebrated the comet’s arrival while the world panicked.
“I spent two summers with him, and don’t know how to get there or find him. A kid’s memory doesn’t create maps, if you know what I mean.”
“Don’t draw a map. Work on remembering what you remember.” She sounded like a therapist.
“Huh? I don’t know what that means.”
“You were little and wouldn’t notice directions. You remember experiences. Smells. Shiny objects. You remember the big ditch that looked like a giant river.”
I considered that. The scent of nearby pine trees or the rich smoke from his fireplace lingered in my memory. “I remember a big rock and a rotting fence. I remember he turned left twice in a row, and what my mom said. Two wrongs don’t make a right. I don’t know why that came to me now.”
“What else?”
“A green sign. It said preserve on it, maybe.”
“Try this. Write down your memories. Focus on how long the drive seemed or the sound of a river. Don’t create a map. It’ll come back to you. It’s two types of thinking. Get it? Two is stronger.”
“Appreciate the pun. Like us. Yes, I get it.”
“My brother didn’t come back while you were gone. He didn’t show up. A month. It’s been a month, and he isn’t here.”
If Ryan had appeared in Deer Lake, she’d have led with the news. She may not have experienced those recent nightmares.
“He’ll get here. He isn’t perfect, but he’s also one of the smartest people I know. Ryan’s like you. He’s decent. Kind.”
“Did you insult us?” she asked, amused. “That feels like an insult.”
“I’m pointing out you Suttons are a bunch of do-gooders.” Except her father. Bill Sutton’s willingness to work with our town’s sheriff increased my suspicion of him.
“You’re comforting me.”
“Isn’t that what we do? Tell me if you’d like me to do it a different way.”
Her laugh sounded like a cat’s purr. “It’s perfect. We should talk about the more miserable aspects of, well, everything. I have news since you were gone. Rose, and Mrs. Willoughby,” she started.
“How about we wait until tomorrow? I have updates for you, so we can argue later whose news is worse than the others. For now, let’s talk.”
“Talk about what?”
I separated her hands, still fiddling with that wedding ring, and guided them down to my eager dick. “Let’s start here and see what happens next.”
We kissed again, the reunion kiss I had dreamed of through all our days apart.
Lily blanketed my body with her own, straddling my hips and pressing her chest to mine. “Hold me.” She took my hands, wrapping them around her, demanding more connection between our bodies.
“Always. Even when I’m not with you.”
We switched positions as our bodies heated with growing tension.
Eight days apart. Too long.
My mind returned to our first night in Deer Lake, and the comfort I gave after we found an empty home and a missing father. This time, we offered it to each other, both haunted by our time apart and the solace that came from the other’s touch.
“Are you ready?” I asked.
Lily wrapped her legs around my hips, grinding her center against mine, causing me to whimper. “Do your best,” she said before sticking her tongue out at me. “Or your worst.”
We laughed, faces so close that our breath mingled.
I entered her, sliding in to the hilt, reveling in the hitch in her voice as she moaned from the ecstasy of it.
“After a week apart, this may not be my best performance,” I warned.
Lily stroked the stray hairs covering my face, giving me a gentle smile. “Do you think I’m any different?”
I kissed her rather than answer, as our hips rose, joining us together.
Our bodies met, and my groans increased, loud enough to be heard outside.
Her cries shattered me as we both came apart, leaving us gasping together.
“Did you miss this?” she asked after her breathing slowed.
“I missed you,” I said.