19
hannah
“Um, so your omega is the world’s worst groveler,” I tell both Kane and Gatlin. “He’s really terrible at it, and if you two have humored him and let him think that he was actually any good at groveling, I think you have really done him a disservice, because, wow. He’s very bad.”
We are seated at a table in a restaurant that my mother has been raving about for a long time, but I haven’t managed to make it out to.
It’s a farm-to-table place. They have a relationship with a farm outside the city, and all of the food comes directly from there.
The menu changes seasonally. My mother has raved about it and she’s even threatened to take me out to dinner here, but my mother threatens dinner plans much more often than she has time for them.
Half of the time, I see my mother only at official functions, and then I’m only there to make her look good, really.
Look at my daughter. See I raised a child while being in government.
“I think she just has an incorrect idea about what groveling is,” says Ellis to his menu, not looking at either of us. He and I are both teasing, so I don’t know if he’s actually truly a little bit upset instead of just pretending to be upset.
“My idea of groveling comes from reading a lot of romantasy novels,” I tell the alphas.
“Oh, you like romantasy?” says Gatlin. “Those are those fairy ones, right? Or dragon-riders?”
“I don’t know if I like it, exactly,” I say.
“I don’t mind it. Nicole used to say she would never represent a romance novel, but then the romantasy books really started taking off, and she decided she was being an idiot, that she needed to get out there and find one to represent.
And so, we did a lot of studying on what makes them sell well. And the groveling part is important.”
“Which is what I did.” Ellis turns the menu over and shoots me a look. “That was some of my best groveling.”
“See, you can’t think that your groveling is good and still be groveling,” I say to him.
“I think you’re confusing groveling and humility,” he says.
I snort.
“Well, why is the grovel a big part of why a book like that sells well?” says Gatlin.
“Who’s Nicole?” says Kane.
“Oh, right,” I say. “I forgot that you don’t know. Nicole Bruin is my boss. I’m an intern for a literary agent.”
“Hannah wants to preserve the publishing industry,” says Ellis. “She’s very pro-corporation.”
“I am not,” I say, glaring at him. “It’s not about the corporations.
It’s about preserving books that are not just bought because of the lowest common denominator, books that aren’t just about pure entertainment.
We need books that are saying something important, and people don’t want to buy them, because reading them is hard. ”
“Is it that the books are hard, or that they’re boring?” says Ellis.
“You never liked my job,” I say to him.
“I don’t think you like your job,” says Ellis, leaning in.
“I thought maybe you were doing it because you want to be a writer, but I don’t know if that’s it, actually.
But Hannah, you could be doing anything at all.
It doesn’t make sense for you to be fetching coffee for some woman who is so snobby that she doesn’t even seem to respect the readers she wants to sell books to. ”
“Agents sell books to editors.”
“Right,” says Ellis.
“You’re right,” says Gatlin. “He doesn’t seem to be groveling.”
Ellis grins and goes back to his menu. His smile lights up his features in a way that makes my heart stop beating. He likes me. How is that even possible?
“Why does groveling make a book sell?” says Kane.
“Well, it’s a significance fantasy,” I say.
“People like them in books. People like to read books about interesting people, not people who are boring or average or—well, you can have one person in the story be the boring, average person, the everyman. But then, that person has to go on a great adventure, or have a king fall in love with her, or ride a dragon.”
“Okay,” says Gatlin. “I can see that.”
“So, the trend is, right now, for there to be these morally gray male main characters. The average, normal, everywoman girl falls in love with him, and he’s a big freaking jerk, but then, at the end, he realizes the error of his ways, and then he apologizes and grovels.”
“Which I did,” says Ellis. “Also, I said the ‘L’ word, and you haven’t even acknowledged that.”
“I didn’t say you were a big freaking jerk, Ellis,” I say.
“It was heavily implied,” he says.
“Maybe,” I say, “you’ve just been through a lot in your life.”
“Now, you’re making excuses for me,” says Ellis.
“Well, do you like your job?” says Kane. “It’s okay if you don’t. I don’t like mine.”
I smile at him. “I like it, I guess.” I look around the table, and I wonder if I should share the thing that I’ve thought about, worried about.
“Sometimes I worry I took this job because it was something that it would be okay to fail at. Sometimes I worry that I assumed that I would fail at anything I tried.”
Ellis looks up from the menu.
Gatlin tilts his head at me. “Why would you say something like that about yourself?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “I’m not really sure why.” I look at each of them. “Maybe it doesn’t matter why, though. Maybe what I should ask myself is, ‘What job would I want if I assumed I would succeed’?”
“That seems very wise, actually, Hannah,” says Kane. “So. What job?”
I have no idea. “I’m going to have to think about it,” I say.
“Fair,” says Gatlin.
“What do you guys do for jobs?” I say to them.
“I run a yoga studio,” says Gatlin. “I also teach some tai chi and yoga classes myself. I don’t have to be in there, day in, day out, but I don’t like to be idle. I like to be there, helping out with things.”
“I’m a broker,” says Kane. “Stocks.”
“Oh, yeah,” I say, nodding at Kane. “Yeah, that really suits you.”
Kane grins. “Ellis has been telling you things about us, I suppose.”
“We’re at a disadvantage here,” says Gatlin. “We don’t know anything about you.”
“What do you want to know?” I say.
The rest of the evening is nice but intense. They are all three focused on me, the whole time. They ask me questions and they all get quiet when I talk, as if they’re really interested in what I have to say.
We don’t talk about the fact I have not taken the Plan B, and we don’t talk about raising Ellis’s baby together. I’m sort of glad, because otherwise, maybe it would feel like an interview for the job of being the mother of their babies or something.
Instead, it feels like we’re just getting to know each other.
I have to admit that I like them.
Kane is definitely flirting with me, too, despite the fact that he’s adamant that he doesn’t want to settle down or whatever.
I flirt back.
I flirt with all of them.
I have to admit that there’s something about it that feels good, all four of us together. There’s something about it that feels almost familiar, as if we all already know each other, as if I am falling into a memory of happiness, only it’s not a memory, it’s a promise of the future.
As nice as that is, it’s probably a stupid reason to have a baby with them.
I know that. And yet…
kane
I call dibs on the pretty beta girl, because I’m the only one who hasn’t fucked her yet. She giggles and blushes and repeats me. “Dibs,” she says. She giggles. “Dibs.”
It’s after the date, and we’re sitting on the couch at Ellis’s place, and I’m calling dibs because I think we should all fuck. If we’re really auditioning this idea of all being together and having a baby together and being, you know, a pack, then we need to know if the sex works.
Gatlin says, “That was really unenlightened of you, Kane.”
“No, it’s fine,” says Hannah, still giggling at me. “I just never thought I’d be the one that people were calling dibs on.”
Oh. I lock eyes with Gatlin, suddenly understanding exactly what he likes about this girl. She’s going to be incredibly fucking grateful, isn’t she? And she’s going to be spoilable, which we could both really stand, considering our omega does not take well to being spoiled.
Gatlin nods at me, and a current of understanding goes through us.
I feel it in the bond. I have to say, there’s nothing quite like being bonded to Gatlin Reese.
The man completed me before the omega and the bites came into the picture, but this, right now, he and I being the alphas to these two… well, maybe it could be good.
“I call dibs,” I say again, my voice dropping into a growl, “and then we’re all going to pass you around, and your job, little beta, is to come as many times as you can, what do you think about that?”
She lets out a squeaky noise, pink-faced, and glances at Ellis. “This is okay?” she says to him.
He nods at her. “Yeah, yeah, this is good.” He turns to me. “You like her, then, Kane?”
“I think I see the appeal,” I say. “Hannah?”
She looks at me, wide-eyed.
“Can I get closer to you?”
She nods. “Yeah, I guess you would have to, if we’re going to…” She looks at Ellis. She looks at Gatlin. She looks back at me. She lets out a noisy breath.
I settle in next to her on the couch where she’s sitting. I put an arm around her. I pick up her legs and drape them over my legs.
She giggles again, but she likes it, and she’s starting to scent in a way I like. It’s a beta scent, understated, but she’s very genuine.
“She always like this, Ellis?” I say.
Ellis nods. “Absolutely always.”
“And you’re not the least bit territorial,” I say.
“I mean, I’m an omega. I don’t do territorial,” says Ellis.
I study him. That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard. Omegas are the definition of territorial. But I also can feel through the bond that the thought of watching Hannah with us turns Ellis on.
“I want to share her with you guys,” says Ellis, confirming this aloud. “I want to share you guys with her. You’re my favorite three people on earth, and if you guys also liked each other, that would be really kind of fantastic.”